Seeking Advice - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information >
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read





Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 07-11-2013, 11:10 PM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Grand Junction
Posts: 4

Seeking Advice


Hello, all:

I have been struggling with alcohol for some time. I consider myself a borderline alcoholic. In the future I'd really like to have champagne at my wedding, etc, but I struggle considerably with moderate alcohol consumption. I cannot go without blacking out. I feel as though I have never had enough to drink unless I can't remember anything at all.

If anyone has any advice for moderation I would greatly appreciate it. I would really like to drastically reduce my consumption, and feel as though I am running out of time to find a decent point of moderation. If I can't get this under control and find some discipline I will be destined for a life without alcohol. Not that it is a bad circumstance, but I sincerely feel like tackling this A.S.A.P. will help my cause.

I know SR is a point where people come to recover and seek support, but I'm hoping to take it one step further and not have to completely abstain from alcohol. Maybe I'm delusional, and perhaps this isn't the right forum to to so.

Either way, if anybody has ideas for moderation or quitting in general I'd greatly appreciate the input.

I'm not physically dependent. I don't drink in the morning/afternoon. I just have a tendency to drink to excess at night and black out consistently. Multiple times per week.

PLEASE help me.

I don't want to run into a point where it's too late. Any advice is appreciated.

Thank You,

TBFG
BarflyGuy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-11-2013, 11:13 PM   #2 (permalink)
Awaiting Email Confirmation
 

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Nunyah, California
Posts: 132
Blog Entries: 1
Quote:
Originally Posted by BarflyGuy View Post
Hello, all:

I have been struggling with alcohol for some time. I consider myself a borderline alcoholic. In the future I'd really like to have champagne at my wedding, etc, but I struggle considerably with moderate alcohol consumption. I cannot go without blacking out. I feel as though I have never had enough to drink unless I can't remember anything at all.

If anyone has any advice for moderation I would greatly appreciate it. I would really like to drastically reduce my consumption, and feel as though I am running out of time to find a decent point of moderation. If I can't get this under control and find some discipline I will be destined for a life without alcohol. Not that it is a bad circumstance, but I sincerely feel like tackling this A.S.A.P. will help my cause.

I know SR is a point where people come to recover and seek support, but I'm hoping to take it one step further and not have to completely abstain from alcohol. Maybe I'm delusional, and perhaps this isn't the right forum to to so.

Either way, if anybody has ideas for moderation or quitting in general I'd greatly appreciate the input.

I'm not physically dependent. I don't drink in the morning/afternoon. I just have a tendency to drink to excess at night and black out consistently. Multiple times per week.

PLEASE help me.

I don't want to run into a point where it's too late. Any advice is appreciated.

Thank You,

TBFG
You can always check these people out: Moderation Management

However, in my opinion sobriety is just the easier choice to make. If you try moderation, the worst that can happen is, well, potentially terrible things (blackouts really are dangerous - they can spell acute alcohol poisoning, doing stuff you regret later, dangerous things, etc). If you do sobriety, nothing is really lost. It's not like you need alcohol.

Anyways, I think moderation management type approaches can work for some. It's just not for me.
DrSober is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-11-2013, 11:26 PM   #3 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 178,292
Blog Entries: 1
Hi BarflyGuy

I can't give you any advice on moderation. Never managed it.

One piece of advice tho - if you try...and you can't do it either - give up.
Accept the outcome.

Don't waste decades on it like some of us.

D
__________________
Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-11-2013, 11:35 PM   #4 (permalink)
iwh
Member
 

Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 119
i apologize for not fully reading your post and reading it deeply enough.

first of all, people here will beat the dead horse to tell you moderation is not ok.

in my experience, i learned how to moderate my drinking! it's great, i don't get into fights (in person), i don't get mugged, i remember things i did the night before, i can still function enough to go buy more, i can still talk to women. yay!

i still throw my life away whenever i drink. i cannot stay in that frame of mind. i cannot take care of myself. i can not care of myself basically, living like that and my life goes to ****.

blacking out is obviously unhealthy and not taking care of yourself! it's a ******, abusive thing to do to your self and totally unacceptable.

moderation still is awful. just i'm here to say that what ever small rewards alcohol has, the payment is always much more than it's ever worth.

everyone want's to be cool & show they can drink socially, but it's a very stupid game to play.

people that really enjoy alcohol ruin their lives.

people who are the biggest prudes try to make some stupid statement by drinking.

don't listen to me, see for yourself
iwh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-11-2013, 11:52 PM   #5 (permalink)
Re-Member
 
Itchy's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,350
Try my prescription for successful moderation. It works if you stick to five drinks per cycle. Wait 20 years then have one drink. If you can do that, then wait another 20years and have two drinks. That is one cycle. Repeat as many cycles as you need until there is no more craving.

I am not being sarcastic, but that is the only way moderation would work for me with one exception, I would stay on cycle, but skip the drinks.
__________________
Sober Since 21 September 2010
"Fairy tales are more than true not because they tell us dragons exist, but because they tell us dragons can be beaten."

"If you see a worthy person, endeavor to emulate him. If you see an unworthy person, then examine your inner self."
Itchy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-12-2013, 12:05 AM   #6 (permalink)
iwh
Member
 

Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 119
Quote:
Originally Posted by iwh View Post

people that really enjoy alcohol ruin their lives.
i actually said something major here.
iwh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-12-2013, 04:24 PM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Grand Junction
Posts: 4
Everyone:

I greatly appreciate your input.

I know the best thing to do is quit. Larry Ellison and Warren Buffet abstain, and they are two of the top five wealthiest people in the world. Proof that you can be successful without alcohol. (Yes, I do measure success to an extent of financial stability.) Steve Jobs also abstained (although I'm guessing because he had enough health problems already), and Donald Trump does too (I think he's just drunk on his ego though).

I also agree that I should give it up completely. I have a tendency to bottle up emotions, opinions, etc., and believe a lot of my stupid drunk behavior stems from this inability to communicate. Even when drunk I don't communicate why I'm angry, sad, etc., I just display the emotions which really seems to offend and confuse people. Maybe communication would be a good first step? Any advice on how to open up? I definitely grew up in a closed off household.

Thanks Again,
--TBFG
BarflyGuy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-12-2013, 04:34 PM   #8 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 178,292
Blog Entries: 1
I found my communication skills improved a lot when I stopped drinking TBFG - they had to really - instead of running away I had to solve my problems, and communication is the best way to solve problems

You might overcompensate at first, or you might not say enough, but you'll get it - it's not an arcane mystery, it's a life skill we can all learn, regardless of the way we were bought up

I'm sure there's a lot of 10 ways to effective communication books out there too

D
__________________
Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-12-2013, 04:37 PM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,790
Why would you want to blackout at your own wedding?

The number of times I said I will just have 4, no more than that.
I then I would wake up the next morning not remembering going to bed, having massive major memory loss through blackout.

As I came too I would think 'great I have done it again'. Blacked out. The very thing I promised my self I would not do. Said no more than 4 and that obviously went out of the window as it was more like 44.

In fact I couldn't even tell you how many because after 9.00pm I cannot reall anything.
Its a miserable way to be.

My best to you
x
Sasha4 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Sasha4 For This Useful Post:
Avra (07-12-2013)
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:11 AM.