Looking for an online sponser....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: my cloud called sobriety
Posts: 26
Looking for an online sponser....
Hi there,
I'm looking for an online sponser. I'm sure that it is recommended to get a sponser I can see face to face, but it seems impossible for me at the moment. I live abroad and the pool of women at the AA meetings is quite small and there is only one that has kept her sobriety for any length of time and I think she's pretty busy sponsering the others.
A little about myself: I'm 27, single, a teacher, living without friends or family or any support system nearby. I haven't "hit rock bottom" but I seem to touch down quite a bit.
I was sober for six days and then last night with all the resolve in the world to not drink, then thought I would "test" myself and hopped off the subway to head to a bar I know. I didn't drink myself into oblivion.....six beers, two mixed drinks. (sigh)
This morning I'm really ready to work at this. Go to meetings every day, strive to change. I have a million thoughts and questions and I feel like I need someone to set me straight on some things. Sometimes I feel ready to explode from the frustrations in my head.
Thanks to all.
Rachel
I'm looking for an online sponser. I'm sure that it is recommended to get a sponser I can see face to face, but it seems impossible for me at the moment. I live abroad and the pool of women at the AA meetings is quite small and there is only one that has kept her sobriety for any length of time and I think she's pretty busy sponsering the others.
A little about myself: I'm 27, single, a teacher, living without friends or family or any support system nearby. I haven't "hit rock bottom" but I seem to touch down quite a bit.
I was sober for six days and then last night with all the resolve in the world to not drink, then thought I would "test" myself and hopped off the subway to head to a bar I know. I didn't drink myself into oblivion.....six beers, two mixed drinks. (sigh)
This morning I'm really ready to work at this. Go to meetings every day, strive to change. I have a million thoughts and questions and I feel like I need someone to set me straight on some things. Sometimes I feel ready to explode from the frustrations in my head.
Thanks to all.
Rachel
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,494
Hi Rachel,
Welcome to SR. I'm glad you found us. I understand your frustrations in dealing with stopping drinking. My name is Anna and I'm an alcoholic, sober 3 1/2 years. I'm not an AA person, but I know many on this site are and hopefully they will respond. Anyways, SR is a great place to come for support and inspiration so I hope you visit often. Feel free to PM me anytime if you feel like chatting.
Love, Anna
Welcome to SR. I'm glad you found us. I understand your frustrations in dealing with stopping drinking. My name is Anna and I'm an alcoholic, sober 3 1/2 years. I'm not an AA person, but I know many on this site are and hopefully they will respond. Anyways, SR is a great place to come for support and inspiration so I hope you visit often. Feel free to PM me anytime if you feel like chatting.
Love, Anna
NOT EVEN 1 CLUB!!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: When I find myself, I'll let you know!
Posts: 1,835
Welcome Rachel!! It's a great place we have here. Lots of support and experience! There's an AA meeting tonight at 10:30 Eastern. You may want to check it out!
Hugs,
Missy
Hugs,
Missy
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Hi and welcome Rachel!
Though as you stated it's best to find a live body to be your sponsor, I know some sites have people willing to sponsor online. I think sobercity.com is one of them. I don't know of anyone here at the moment that would be willing to do that, not to say someone won't come along to offer their help as a online sponsor for you. So stick around, at least you know you have all of our support.
Though as you stated it's best to find a live body to be your sponsor, I know some sites have people willing to sponsor online. I think sobercity.com is one of them. I don't know of anyone here at the moment that would be willing to do that, not to say someone won't come along to offer their help as a online sponsor for you. So stick around, at least you know you have all of our support.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
Welcome Rachel! Most of "us" have posted all kinds of pretty personal stuff, not sure what you might be comfortable asking.
Gotta tell ya', Chy who just posted is one incredible lady! Hope you stick around!
Tom
Gotta tell ya', Chy who just posted is one incredible lady! Hope you stick around!
Tom
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: a spiritual vortex, Colorado
Posts: 844
hi rachael
mack here, alkie- we met on one of my wackier threads. might try asking bout sponsorship on women in recovery thread?? i'm not sure- try as i might they jus won't let me in!!!
altho i think nothing really replaces f2f - one alkie helping another- i also think this site has an incredible amount of experience strength and hope
mackat
mack here, alkie- we met on one of my wackier threads. might try asking bout sponsorship on women in recovery thread?? i'm not sure- try as i might they jus won't let me in!!!
altho i think nothing really replaces f2f - one alkie helping another- i also think this site has an incredible amount of experience strength and hope
mackat
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2004
Location: my cloud called sobriety
Posts: 26
sponser/shakes
One of the women at my meetings has offered to be my temporary sponser so I think this is a better option. I didn't really know what "sponsership" involves and when I posted I think I was just assuming I could message back and forth with the person and get support from one person.
This woman is a very strong person, from what I can tell, and has been sober a long time. She has kind of a rough-tough personality. I don't know if our personalities are the most compatible but considering she is kind enough to be eager to help me, I'm all hers.
Things haven't been good for me in the last 48 hours. I left my meeting on Friday and had no desire to drink whatsoever. Then, I somehow found myself in a bar. Six days of sobriety down the drain! I stayed until a "typical" level of drunkeness, then went home to a few drinks before bed. Yesterday, I spent all morning here in these forums, reading and reading and reading. Then, went to my meeting. There were two yesterday ( a women's meeting and a regular meeting). On the way to my meeting, I decided to give myself "The Test". I went in and had one beer, then went to my meetings. Well, much to my surprise, a piercing kind of pain developed in the middle of my forehead. All week, I've been getting these "forehead" headaches, which differ from my hangover headaches in location of pain. I have been wondering if it's withdrawl, but then start to wonder if it's something else (I'm having real big denial problems and don't want to admit that I'm having any withdrawl symptoms whatsoever).
By the second meeting, I felt really shaky. At first I just felt kind of spacy, then I did the hand examination and noticed the tremble.
I was shocked! The red devil wants to say it's just mental, that I'm being obsessive, or wants to give some other kind of explanation but reality is becoming clearer and clearer.
I know that it is a real poor choice to have a beer and then go to a meeting and I'm sure that it is very offensive to other AA members here. That being said, in my case it really served as a wake up call to be sitting there with all of the other AA members, feeling completely irritable and jittering, knowing that I really need to take control of my life here. It really helped yank me out of denial for once and for all.
Now, I'm just scared as all hell. It seems like I have this enormous mountain in front of me, I know I have to climb it if I'm going to live the life I want to live and ever find happiness, and I just don't know how much energy I have in me.
I can really identify with the inability to be honest with myself. It's laughable at this point. I just wrote that, and then my mind starts to say things like, "ah, big deal. Your life is manageable. You're fine! Stop being so dramatic."
The truth is that my life IS manageable for the most part, it's just MISERABLE.
So, I guess I better just get ready to climb.
Thanks for all the support above.
Rachel
This woman is a very strong person, from what I can tell, and has been sober a long time. She has kind of a rough-tough personality. I don't know if our personalities are the most compatible but considering she is kind enough to be eager to help me, I'm all hers.
Things haven't been good for me in the last 48 hours. I left my meeting on Friday and had no desire to drink whatsoever. Then, I somehow found myself in a bar. Six days of sobriety down the drain! I stayed until a "typical" level of drunkeness, then went home to a few drinks before bed. Yesterday, I spent all morning here in these forums, reading and reading and reading. Then, went to my meeting. There were two yesterday ( a women's meeting and a regular meeting). On the way to my meeting, I decided to give myself "The Test". I went in and had one beer, then went to my meetings. Well, much to my surprise, a piercing kind of pain developed in the middle of my forehead. All week, I've been getting these "forehead" headaches, which differ from my hangover headaches in location of pain. I have been wondering if it's withdrawl, but then start to wonder if it's something else (I'm having real big denial problems and don't want to admit that I'm having any withdrawl symptoms whatsoever).
By the second meeting, I felt really shaky. At first I just felt kind of spacy, then I did the hand examination and noticed the tremble.
I was shocked! The red devil wants to say it's just mental, that I'm being obsessive, or wants to give some other kind of explanation but reality is becoming clearer and clearer.
I know that it is a real poor choice to have a beer and then go to a meeting and I'm sure that it is very offensive to other AA members here. That being said, in my case it really served as a wake up call to be sitting there with all of the other AA members, feeling completely irritable and jittering, knowing that I really need to take control of my life here. It really helped yank me out of denial for once and for all.
Now, I'm just scared as all hell. It seems like I have this enormous mountain in front of me, I know I have to climb it if I'm going to live the life I want to live and ever find happiness, and I just don't know how much energy I have in me.
I can really identify with the inability to be honest with myself. It's laughable at this point. I just wrote that, and then my mind starts to say things like, "ah, big deal. Your life is manageable. You're fine! Stop being so dramatic."
The truth is that my life IS manageable for the most part, it's just MISERABLE.
So, I guess I better just get ready to climb.
Thanks for all the support above.
Rachel
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,494
You know Rachel, the mountain is really high and sometimes seems endless, but the journey is just so amazing. I am trying to be open to the life that I am living. It will be hard work, but so worth it.
Love, Anna
Love, Anna
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
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