emilynnwhite

I was forced into sobriety when I was charged with my second DUI 4/7/2013. I spent the night in jail sobering up and the entire next day wondering when I would get out. The only thing I knew at that point was that I had a a lot of legal issues I would be dealing with over the next at least year, I thought all about what I was going to lose, including my license, my freedom, money and time away from work and all of the "fun" my friends would be having over the Summer while I was forced into sobriety. When I got home from jail I knew it was my last night where I could have a drink and not get into any trouble legally, the next day I was put on a scram bracelet. I immediately came home poured myself the rest of what was remaining from the bottle of wine that I had started drinking before I went to the bar, blacked out and tried driving my car home. I was very confused and afraid at that point but part of me had this confidence knowing that I had gotten through my first DUI and this time I would just need to do the same, go through the motions, tell the courts exactly what they wanted to hear, show up for classes and complete my community service... After wearing the scram bracelet for a couple days something inside me told me to look for some AA groups in the area, after all, everyone I was hanging out with was still drinking and I knew I had to wear that thing for at least a few months so maybe some support would be good. I went to my first AA meeting about a week after wearing the scram unit, at that point all I wanted to do was drink, I showed up to an all women's meeting and cried the entire time... I wished I wasn't there, but I also knew very well I belonged there, that may have been the reason it was SO hard for me. I knew I had a problem with alcohol, I knew my mom had a problem with alcohol and I knew most my family had a problem with alcohol... I just never saw anyone of them recover from their alcoholism so it never occurred to me that was an option, there were times before when I had tried to quit drinking, I would try for 30 days, or 7 days and sometimes I would just try to go the work week without drinking... I never could make it more than 5 days at a time. So, I'm sitting in this meeting and I'm crying, scared to deaht thinking, I'm only 27 years old and if I go through with this then I am NEVER going to be able to drink again... I'm listening to stories of other alcoholics who have more years sober than I am old thinking, I can't go out anymore, I can't go on vacations anymore.... basically thinking that my life was completely over... I never went back to that meeting but I did find another one in my area, I started attending regularly and to my surprise started feeling a sense of belonging, and things started to look up, I could relate some of the people in the group, some were my age and just beginning their sobriety as well, what really surprised me were that the majority of the people in the meetings, weren't there because they got a DUI or any other criminal charge, they were there because their lives had become unmanageable... and mine had too. 3 months into the program my thought process has shifted from thinking about all that I'm losing because of this DUI charge to now, all that I'm gaining because if I hadn't been charged with a DUI, what else would have got me sober and got me to a meeting? I am beginning a journey, a journey where I will meet new friends, discover things about myself I never knew ultimately meet myself for the first time in my adult life...

least

to SR! And welcome to a new sober life. It takes some work to stay sober but it's well worth the effort. I got sober over three years ago and don't miss it one bit.

Dee74

Welcome Emily and congrats on your sober time

You'll find a lot of support here

D

GracieLou

I want to thank you for your post. It still amazes me every time I read or hear something I can relate to so perfectly.

This is how I feel too. I see and hear many people say they can't wait to be normal. I have never been normal or it was so long ago I can't remember what it was like.

It is all brand new. Obviously some things are the same, my job, my house, my family but I am new. It is sort of like I have been given a second chance but it is my first time at really living, really being me.

Congrats on your time sober!

coraltint

Welcome to SR, and congrats on a pretty good outlook at 3 months in!

I have some good news:

you CAN go out & go on vacations sober. It's kinda weird the first few times, but it ends up being way more satisfying. You'll remember all the good times & won't have any booze-related embarrassing stories the next day!

Keep coming back, stay plugged into a program!

Louise82

Congrats on 93 days! Welcome to SR and thanks for sharing your story. Time and time again I've heard people say that they can't believe they gave up drinking but now they're so happy they did because of the fabulous sober life they have. Stories like theirs and yours really inspire me.