StrongMama

Ugh... So today is Day 2 in my quest for recovery and damn I am feeling emotional and physical pain like nothing I have felt before. Opiate addiction has a grasp on my mind, body and soul ....
As I am sobering up the chaos I have caused around me is becoming clearer. Its hard to take it all in ... the addict inside of me wants nothing more than to run, hide and numb myself like I have done for all these years. But.. I am not running, hiding nor am I numbing myself in anyway... I am facing the truth, destruction and pain. I am "taking it all in" .. using the pain, embarrassment and fear as fuel to move me forward.
I know I have a long journey ahead of me... unfortunately this is not my first rodeo. I attempted sobriety Feb 2010. I checked into a Detox center, and from there I stayed at a sober living residency for 30 days. I learned a lot and felt really strong and really amazed myself that I had gone that long... But once I moved back to my hometown.. and was faced with reality and temptation.. and injuries... I fell right back into my addiction...
This time around I am approaching things differently... I am reading my Narcotics Anonymous book for the 1st time. I am going to at least 30 meetings in 30 days. I love going to meetings. Within those walls I feel loved, respected, and accepted. Hearing other addicts/alcoholics stories and struggles really help me get through mine. After every meeting I feel less alone, and less lost.

Received

Glad you found us, strongmama. Wanted to welcome you and tell you to keep going!!! We're here.

Dee74

welcome aboard StrongMama - the early days are rough - but you're not alone here

D

StrongMama

Thank you... It does feel nice to not be alone... it is very hard right now... I honestly feel like total crap. Its hard for me to handle the rush of emotions I am feeling. Its even harder to try and get through the body aches, tremors, sweats, chills, and headaches... UGH.
The only thing that is really keeping me going is staying positive!

Bubovski

Stick with it Strong Mama!

Find strength from others doing the hard yards and look to better days.

Hevyn

Proud of you StrongMama. Once you get through this you never have to go back there again. A whole new life is waiting.

Petecrab

Keep close to this site. Tell us how you are getting on. Everyday I find I can't wait to tell people on here how I'm doing. Keeps me going! Week 2 is easier to!