WEnt back to rehab
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne, Victoria Australia
Posts: 1,202
Made my day (one) too!
Boom, boom!
It's just past 6 a.m. the following morning here.....had gone to bed after a good dinner and a couple of good TV shows: totally S-O-B-E-R.
By George, I believe I've finally got this AVRT thing clicked into place, as an immediate, in the moment, swift manoeuvre - to short-circuit the ambivalence when thoughts / urges / cravings creep, crawl, slither, charge forth, slam, explode, whatever they do.
Now I just have to remember to do it - swat, swat, swat. Although I didn't realise at the time initially, each return to the labryrinth of the quitting<->drinking<->quitting<->drinking cycle this year slowly made me see, REALLY see and feel, what people mean when they say 'I'm done'.
In a very real sense, I do need now to remain vigilant. Because I know / have experienced enough about addiction in the brain to know that it can take quite some time for that part of our brain to re-make itself. The vigilance metaphor might irritate RR purists, but that matters as little to me as when my way of getting and staying sober, and living sober, irritates BB purists. Eclectics rock, IMHO - and we have quite a lot of 'em here at SR which is one of the things I love about this community.
Perhaps it's all been a type of learning through suffering. I don't know. As the Buddha taught, thousands of years before AA and rehabs and such came up with the idea of 'drop the rock', whilst life involves unsatisfactoriness (dukkha), we don't HAVE to add our own layers of sediment in our minds: which is suffering.
And 'when the student is ready, the teacher/s appear'. I'm not dense, just an alcoholic.
It's just past 6 a.m. the following morning here.....had gone to bed after a good dinner and a couple of good TV shows: totally S-O-B-E-R.
By George, I believe I've finally got this AVRT thing clicked into place, as an immediate, in the moment, swift manoeuvre - to short-circuit the ambivalence when thoughts / urges / cravings creep, crawl, slither, charge forth, slam, explode, whatever they do.
Now I just have to remember to do it - swat, swat, swat. Although I didn't realise at the time initially, each return to the labryrinth of the quitting<->drinking<->quitting<->drinking cycle this year slowly made me see, REALLY see and feel, what people mean when they say 'I'm done'.
In a very real sense, I do need now to remain vigilant. Because I know / have experienced enough about addiction in the brain to know that it can take quite some time for that part of our brain to re-make itself. The vigilance metaphor might irritate RR purists, but that matters as little to me as when my way of getting and staying sober, and living sober, irritates BB purists. Eclectics rock, IMHO - and we have quite a lot of 'em here at SR which is one of the things I love about this community.
Perhaps it's all been a type of learning through suffering. I don't know. As the Buddha taught, thousands of years before AA and rehabs and such came up with the idea of 'drop the rock', whilst life involves unsatisfactoriness (dukkha), we don't HAVE to add our own layers of sediment in our minds: which is suffering.
And 'when the student is ready, the teacher/s appear'. I'm not dense, just an alcoholic.
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