Day 41 and I asked someone out
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Hey A. I like that you are going to hang out with someone. This does not have to be anything serious. I mean, Its a walk around a Botanical Garden and Ice Cream. You have been craving human interaction on a deeper level, face to face with someone. So, this is your chance to have a meaningful experience. I will patiently await your post about how the evening went. 
I am so happy for you Acheleus!
As for family, the situation is very tricky. The only family member that I speak with on occasion is my brother. This means that my mother, sister, father, and the rest of them have had no contact with me for a long time. I just can not handle the dysfunction. Having a therapist where you are living makes all the sense in the world. Your father does not understand what you are going through, and maybe one day he will. Let his words slide off of you. He is not living your life. You are. I see you taking every possible step you can to be healthy and remain that way. Opinions are like ########, everyone has one. It does not mean that their opinion is the truth. Bravo to you!!!! Have fun tonight.
GO ACHELEUS!!!!!
I am so happy for you Acheleus!As for family, the situation is very tricky. The only family member that I speak with on occasion is my brother. This means that my mother, sister, father, and the rest of them have had no contact with me for a long time. I just can not handle the dysfunction. Having a therapist where you are living makes all the sense in the world. Your father does not understand what you are going through, and maybe one day he will. Let his words slide off of you. He is not living your life. You are. I see you taking every possible step you can to be healthy and remain that way. Opinions are like ########, everyone has one. It does not mean that their opinion is the truth. Bravo to you!!!! Have fun tonight.
GO ACHELEUS!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: The Emerald City
Posts: 434
Another grin from me - congrats on the date this evening! I agree about staying clear from all places with alcohol. The Botanical gardens and ice-cream sound like a perfect plan.
I can relate to your predicament with your dad. I've cut off about 99% of communication with both my parents and my sister. I actually used to get the 3rd degree from my mom about my therapy sessions, drilling me how terrible it would be if I mentioned her in any capacity. Talk about controlling! Lol. Just remember, it's YOUR life. It's always good to remember that negative/controlling opinions of others should go straight to the trash bin.
You are doing great Acheleus, so very proud of you!
Have a great time this evening!
- congrats on the date this evening! I agree about staying clear from all places with alcohol. The Botanical gardens and ice-cream sound like a perfect plan. I can relate to your predicament with your dad. I've cut off about 99% of communication with both my parents and my sister. I actually used to get the 3rd degree from my mom about my therapy sessions, drilling me how terrible it would be if I mentioned her in any capacity. Talk about controlling! Lol. Just remember, it's YOUR life. It's always good to remember that negative/controlling opinions of others should go straight to the trash bin.
You are doing great Acheleus, so very proud of you!
Have a great time this evening!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 241
Hey Acheleus, +1 for the botanical garden walk and ice cream. What a fantastic and thoughtful date. Very classy, IMHO. Also, my therapist said walking is a great way to talk with someone when you are wound up. The mechanics of it relieve stress and you are not forced to stare at someone who you don't know very well. It creates neutrality. Have a great time and maybe let us know how it turned out? If you feel like it, of course. No pressure. lol.
Cheers,
cas
Cheers,
cas
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: My city of ruins...
Posts: 593
Yay Ach! I seem to be saying that a lot lately and that's a GREAT thing!!
Enjoy your outing - sounds very nice and I know I would find it charming if a man asked me for a walk and ice cream rather than a beer and a shot!!!
Be sure to let us know how it goes!!
Enjoy your outing - sounds very nice and I know I would find it charming if a man asked me for a walk and ice cream rather than a beer and a shot!!!
Be sure to let us know how it goes!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,920
Thanks guys. Well we went to the botanical garden and had ice cream, then we hung out with her friend and I played guitar and sang for them. They seemed impressed. It felt good to talk about art and music and it feels good to know I can interact with people and joke without drinking. I have her number now but she is leaving at the end of the month so she is just a friend, but that is what I want to work on, being a friend. So yeah, I am trying to push myself and I feel comfortable. She said she had a good time and I feel proud of myself. We live in the same building so I will try to ask someone to hang out that doesnt live in my building. Oh and we saw deer! We walked right up to it. I am growing!!! Still alcohol and smoke free!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: The Emerald City
Posts: 434
Originally Posted by Acheleus 
Thanks guys. Well we went to the botanical garden and had ice cream, then we hung out with her friend and I played guitar and sang for them. They seemed impressed. It felt good to talk about art and music and it feels good to know I can interact with people and joke without drinking. I have her number now but she is leaving at the end of the month so she is just a friend, but that is what I want to work on, being a friend. So yeah, I am trying to push myself and I feel comfortable. She said she had a good time and I feel proud of myself. We live in the same building so I will try to ask someone to hang out that doesnt live in my building. Oh and we saw deer! We walked right up to it. I am growing!!! Still alcohol and smoke free!
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
AWWWW... I am sooooooooooo delighted to read your post about the evening. That is fantastic. Wooo wooo. As I was scrolling through the posts...I gotta say...I was nervous....wondering ...hmmmm ...when will we get the update. And there it was : ) Wonderful stuff.
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
Originally Posted by Acheleus
Thanks guys. The rain cleared so maybe I can see if she wants to walk around the nature center and then get ice cream. It will be like damn sixth grade again. Also something has been bugging me. My dad is a controlling alcoholic and he yells at me for going to see a counselor and psychiatrist about my depression. He keeps jabbering away for me to come down to his house and see a family doctor there. My counselor made me realize how messed up my parents lives have been, and she said it would be best for me and my sobriety to stay away from my dad. But he is the only family I have and he will not leave me alone. Maybe he is afraid of me becoming strong?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Sydney, NSW
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by SoberJennie
Botanical garden sounds great... romantic too. And I doubt any girl would not want ice-cream.
Best of luck whatever you decide.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,920
Day 42 now. Flooding here so had a lazy day inside. Feeling antzy to get out more and go listen to some music, but I am going to get out there gradually. Last night was strange but still good, and I enjoy having girls as friends because they are better at the art of conversation. So today I have felt bad about the weather but I am seeing a doctor on Friday morning so that will be interesting. I hope you all are doing well, thank you for the encouragement and help.
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