chenoablue

I have drank beer everyday since I can't remember when. I posted 15 years in my profile, but it's probably more than that. I started out years ago with only 2 beers a day, and gradually, it's gotten to be more and more. Some days I've had 6-16 ounce bottles.
I have a 15 year old, and it has been so unfair to her.
I haven't neglected her, but I haven't been 100% either. I think I have been what would be termed a functioning alcoholic. I did my chores, and kept my obligations, but crashed like a freight train every evening.
I have so many autoimmune issues, and I've drank to escape all that.
It didn't help. Oh yeah, I've also quit smoking. I didn't really intend to stop both habits at one time, it sort of just happened that way.
I'm so sick of living with a fake buzz, I know that's not the answer, but now I feel as if I've just opened the door to depression and melancholy. I think melancholy would be the best word. I don't feel like doing anything, just existing in my bedroom seems to be all I can stand.

cb1

you are not alone friend....I feel the SAME way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We will get thru it better sober tho!!!

ScottFromWI

Congrats on your decision to quit Chenoablue. How long has it been since you stopped? It takes time for your body to adjust to the initial withdrawals, and then it can take many weeks or even months for your body to get used to not being full of alcohol. Additionally, you may uncover underlying issues/feelings that you were drowning in alcohol and avoiding all those years.

Are you seeking any local support or counseling? Physically quitting drinking is merely the first step in a long list of things you need to accomplish to be truly sober.

OneLessLonely

It's a process for sure. There's a phase where it is hard and unpleasant. But stay with it and eventually it gets better. It took 15+ years to get where you are. It'll take a little bit of time to get out. Stick around here.

ippochick

welcome, chenoa.

Nuudawn

Welcome Chenoa. I think when we give up the booze..we come face to face with the emptiness in our lives. We need to learn how to fill those spaces. I'm only about 5 weeks in..and the first while I did nothing but sit around and read/post here. (Hey, I still do a lot of that). I fight my sloth but new things are creeping in. The other night I was exhausted. If I had still been drinking when I came home sunday night..exhausted..I would have parked my arse on the couch and drank. I didnt' have that option. I ended up sitting in the driveway pulling weeds that had started shooting through the brickwork (I'm housesitting). The sun was out ..but it was late in the day and there was a cool evening summer wind. So there I was still in my work clothes..sitting on said arse...outside in sun. I NEVER would've done that drinking. It was actually really lovely.

You will make new discoveries in sobriety...give it time.

SoBearish

Proud of you. Keep doing what you are doing. It was about 45 days for me before I stopped feeling crappy.