There's being drunk. Then there's everything else.
 

Off the wagon. My AV became me. Etc, etc.

I know I hate this, it's my demon, it's the poison wanting only to be fed and fed.

But being high, drunk, sloshed, damn - it's hard to do the real work right?

It's hard, but not impossible, and so worth it. Just keep trying. Think about why you drank today and maybe make a new plan for sobriety.

Yes, it takes work to stay sober but it's worth the effort. I like my sober life so much better.:)

I found it harder to do the real work than actually stopping drinking. Doing the work involved facing so many things about myself and my life that I was scared to face.

I'm glad you're back and I hope that you're ready to work on your recovery again.

We know you can do it lessgravity. We're very happy you aren't settling for that old drinking life. Better days are ahead.

Where does come your body re: a better high?

My therapist said something to me... "you have to find ways to have a healthy tantrum"..rather than run to your addictions.
I'm still trying to figure out what that looks like.
Keep on keepin on LG. The answer is NOT at the bottom of a bottle. It just isn't. Keep fighting. You fell off..get back on.

It is hard but it is a worthwhile project. I get a new high from doing things for the first time, pushing myself, overcoming fears. I relax with meditation and focusing on the preset moment. There's less aftermath.

You had a great plan going there for a while Less. Perhaps you backed off or pushed things too hard too fast? ( the drinkng party night , etc..? )

Bottom line you know you can it.. You just need to tweak,your plan and fully accept that you need help. Most of us cannot do this alone.

dust yourself off and get back to it, less.

You can do it!

I fell off the wagon a week ago and made myself soooo sick. I'm actually glad I did. I had been "missing" drinking and it reminded me how much drinking sucks. I haven't even thought about alcohol since.

It happens - never stop trying!

Hi there. I fell off the wagon, too. I quit for 18 days and then I went on a three day drinking-festival. I'm back on day 7. For me, it does help to get out of my environment and old patterns. Right now, I'm sitting in the mountains of northern New Mexico enjoying the peace. The trouble is being at home around all my deeply ingrained patterns. I'm not looking forward to that.

I think I remember that you mentioned you are not into AA? I find it can help simply because it give you something to actually DO. So much of quitting drinking is about NOT doing something (which is torture). I started attending meetings that were OK, but I'm still in search of the perfect home group for me.

Have you ever tried meditation? If you are in NYC, this is a great secular buddhist organization that has all kinds of workshops.
The Interdependence Project | Secular Buddhist Meditation and Living with Mindfulness

Thanks for all the replies.

I don't have an excuse or an explanation really. Scott - really doesn't have to do with that party - truth is I'm an at-home drunk so it's the times I'm by myself that I have the strongest urges.

Back on the train today.

Hey there Less and fellow NYC'er.


I'm going to a 12pm meeting in Chelsea. PM me if you want to join me.


Edit: I have a young son as well (4 1/2). We can trade horror stories of dealing with a screaming baby while dealing with a screaming hangover lol.

I quit for three years! Fell off...and that was over 2 years ago...Since then I have had numerous sober months followed by a many drunk night to ruin it. I'm back on day #3 and will continue to fight and so will you LESS! All we have is today so let's just worry about the here and now!

Not suggesting that your party in itself was the cause, but go back and read your posts regarding that issue. You were purposefully putting yourself in situations where alcohol was prevalent just to "test" your resolve against your AV. That is of course done and history, but could your relapse perhaps be part of a larger issue not wanting to fully admit that you cannot control your drinking? I know I had that issue for literally years, trying different methods to quit or cut back but NONE of them worked until i finally admitted I was powerless/not able to control my drinking. And i'm not saying that from a 12 step perspective as I"m not an AA member, but I think one truly has to admit to themselves that they powerless over alcohol before you can truly be sober.

I wish you the best of luck, please stay with us and let us know how we can help.

LOL I agree. Drinking never lives up to what we think it will. It's always a letdown.