Confession
 

I've got a problem I need advice on. When I was a young teenager, I did something really bad. I can't even talk about it. I know it is a big reason I have struggled with alcohol. I feel like I need to make an amends, to more than one person. Or I need to do something. But amends aren't till the 9th step, and I've barely done the first 3 steps. Step 4 seems overwhelming. I don't know if I can wait that long. Any ideas?

Dee, I just realized this may be in the wrong thread. Feel free to move it if it is, sorry

I'm not in AA so I can't speak for the steps, but personally if I knew I had to make amends for something I'd do it whenever I was ready to do it - especially if I felt that it would help me in my recovery by doing so.

If you have a sponsor, maybe talk it over with them for guidance...?

Mirage you don't have to be in AA to make an amend. Sounds like something is troubling you that needs to be addressed now so plan it carefully and do it. :egypt:

Do you have a sponsor? What do they say?

I'm not in AA but I've made amends as I could, where appropriate. If it's bothering you a lot, why not talk to a trusted friend or even a therapist? Don't let it get in the way of your recovery.

When I was in AA there was this guy who needed to make amends about something pretty bad and it was really bothering him. People just kept telling him that there is a reason there are 8 steps before it. I thought that was good advice. I think sometimes we want to fix everything right away but it isn't always possible. Try not to let it get in the way of your recovery for now and hopefully you can do your amends when the time is right x

Thanks for the responses. Yes I have a sponser, I guess II could broach the subject with him. Like I said, it's hard for me to talk about. I've started an outpatient treatment program, so maybe they'll have someone I can talk to. Just admitting what I have on here feel like some of the weight has been lifted. Thx

I have so many amends to wait, but I'm waiting for steps 8 and 9.

What did help me though was sharing with my sponsor the things that I was carrying overwhelming guilt and shame about.

I've had to come to realize that the steps are in order for a reason. I need to grow spiritually and as a human being before I can truly make the amends to those I have harmed are owed.