Dealing with husbands alcoholism and lies
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Niagara Falls ON
Posts: 5
Dealing with husbands alcoholism and lies
Hi there, This is my first post and I really don't know where to start.
My husband has quit drinking again after a terrible night of verbal abuse and threats to himself, myself and family which he has no memory of. 7 days now, and counting. He now drinks non-alcoholic beer from the stores cause he likes the taste of beer. He is a very angry man who has had a hard upbringing and alot of family issues he has never deal with. This last week he has started anger management counselling and I want to be as supportive as I can for him. I am just having a real hard time trusting anything he tells me. Everytime I open a cabinet or closet I find a new empty beer can or wine bottle. He has ponded off things from our house, lies about money he has made and what he spends it on. I really want to be there for him but I am realizing I no longer like the person who stares back at me in the mirror. I am always second guessing and making excusses for his behavior. I know I love him with all my heart but I'm not sure I am still "In love with him"
My husband has quit drinking again after a terrible night of verbal abuse and threats to himself, myself and family which he has no memory of. 7 days now, and counting. He now drinks non-alcoholic beer from the stores cause he likes the taste of beer. He is a very angry man who has had a hard upbringing and alot of family issues he has never deal with. This last week he has started anger management counselling and I want to be as supportive as I can for him. I am just having a real hard time trusting anything he tells me. Everytime I open a cabinet or closet I find a new empty beer can or wine bottle. He has ponded off things from our house, lies about money he has made and what he spends it on. I really want to be there for him but I am realizing I no longer like the person who stares back at me in the mirror. I am always second guessing and making excusses for his behavior. I know I love him with all my heart but I'm not sure I am still "In love with him"
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
It sounds like it's time for you to start taking care of yourself. There is lots of support here, and AlAnon could be a good resource for you. 'Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie is a great book. And, we have a Friends & Families forum on these boards.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,997
Hi BarbP,
I had that exact same experience. I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize the woman looking back at me. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I hope to never feel that way again. It shook me to my core.
I've learned you can love someone from a safe distance.
I hope you take care of yourself. Find some help and support. Here is a good start but if you have someone or something close to you I'd reach out there too.
Be safe and love yourself.
I had that exact same experience. I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize the woman looking back at me. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I hope to never feel that way again. It shook me to my core.
I've learned you can love someone from a safe distance.
I hope you take care of yourself. Find some help and support. Here is a good start but if you have someone or something close to you I'd reach out there too.
Be safe and love yourself.
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