ghostinfactory

Hello, my name is Alicia. I'm 21 years old, a university student & I live in Winnipeg, MB, Canada.. I'm not sure if I belong here, see, my life han't gone SO downhill that it is in ruins. I don't know, I guess that was my thoughts on alcoholics before now. I didn't realize that maybe a lot of alcoholics live productive lives for the most part, & they just keep their addiction as hidden as they can. That's how I would describe my addiction. TONS of secrets kept hidden from everyone who matters. But as time goes on I'm starting to see that these secrets are not so, secret. My family, friends, my boyfriend, and possibly even my cat have started to look at me different. I hate it. I don't want to continue to disappoint them. I don't want to burn all my bridges at the age of 21.

My drinking began when I was 14. Peer pressure, and a lack of self-esteem is what drove me to experiment with it. There were drugs too, but alcohol is the only thing that has stuck with me up to this point. When I turned 18 (the legal drinking age here), I began to drink heavily. It stopped feeling fun & silly, and started to feel necessary. Since then my drinking has slowly started to get worse. I am at the point now where I drink every Friday night, & every Saturday night. I would say I'm drinking 6 - 10 drinks during those nights. I just returned home from a week stay at the lake, where I got myself at least a little bit drunk every night. I'm still feeling quite off from that.

Anyway, I just want to stop. I just want to be a normal, 21 year old with interests, ambitions, etc. I feel like a washed up hag these days. I'm looking for friends, support, & something to do when I want to turn to the bottle.

I really appreciate anyone reading this. Thanks for taking the time

hypochondriac

Welcome to SR Alicia

You have come to a good place if you want to quit drinking, there is lots of support here. I knew my drinking wasn't right when I was your age but I kept at it for another decade before doing anything about it. I feel like I wasted my 20's. You don't have to make the same mistake x

Anna

Hi and Welcome from a fellow Canadian!

I sure do remember the complications of the secrets and lies. It was exhausting. I'm glad you decided to stop drinking. As you've found alcoholism is a progressive disease and it will get worse unless you stop.

You can find lots of support here. My advice in the early days is to change your patterns. I drank in the early evening, so I made sure that I would get out of the house at that time of the day. You might have to change other things in your life too, such as activities and friends. But, be certain that you can do this!

Mirage74

Wow, you're young and by no means washed up. You're life is just starting. It's good you recognize you may have a problem at 21. You made the first step, coming clean with your "secret" addiction and asking for help/guidance. You'll find a lot of that here. Welcome to SR!

Bubovski

An excellent idea to take remedial action at 21 before things get worse.
Things can really drag on and complications worsen with alcohol making the break all that more difficult.
Support, as indicated, is really good here and there is plenty of variation.
Out side groups imo are a marvellous way to beat addictions too.

Welcome and keep coming back.....

Hevyn

Welcome Alicia!

It's good you recognize that things need to change. As Murch said, great idea to take action now - you won't have to suffer the way many of us have. I knew I didn't drink normally when I was in my 20's & I wasted decades trying to control it. Stopping would have made my life turn out so differently. I'm glad you're here - I hope you'll find the support you need to change the way things are going.

Nighthawk8820

Well this is a great place to get some information and support. There is no clear cut definition of what an actual alcoholic looks or acts like, all that matters is that if alcohol is a problem or creating issues in your life. If it is, then you have a problem with it. Many people with alcoholism work, are successful, and make it appear they have a great life. You can only do that for so long though, because alcoholism doesn't just go away on its own, it always get worse and worse with time. Its good you recognize that its creating some negative issues in your life now, so you can work to correct this thing before it gets too out of control, which is always does if untreated. Dont be nervous, its nothing to be ashamed of and it happens to the best of us. So what is it you would like to do now? Sobriety? Learn more about alcoholism?

ghostinfactory

Thanks for the replies everyone. I feel as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I'm looking for sobriety. I mean, in a perfect world I could be a social drinker but I don't know if I would ever be able to get to that point.

Thanks again

Petecrab

Start tomorrow with a day off, looks like you can do a whole working week then take the weekend as it comes. Carry on the good form then you will be set for week 2. Which will be easier. I have found coming on here to let others know how I'm doing encourages me to succeed.

DisplacedGRITS

Welcome, Alicia! I sure wish i'd had the foresight to quit drinking in my 20s! For me, i knew it was a problem when alcohol became a necessity, not a fun thing i did from time to time. I used to drink only on the weekends but it slowly started to increase to Fridays, then Thursdays then nightly. Nightly started to get earlier and earlier then i found myself drinking 'round the clock. Don't worry about thinking that you haven't reached bottom yet. You reach bottom only when you decide to stop digging and that's different for everyone. I never went to jail, never got busted with a DUI/OWI, didn't lose my husband or my place to live...if i kept drinking i know one or more of those would have happened. Sometimes, i think i didn't want to quit drinking in my 20s because i would be missing out on a lot of "fun." The thing is, it wasn't fun. As an active alcoholic, my life was consumed with running from my problems, lying, hiding and figuring out how i could live so i could keep drinking. After some sobriety, i've found my life to be so much easier! Not juggling all those lies is such a relief! I hope you find the support you're looking for here. I go to AA and that's another source of great support for me. Keep coming back. Many people have found the solution here and you can too!

Dee74

If you want to stop, you're in the right place Alicia
Welcome

D

AlexaDaly

I hate it when my cat looks at me like, "Where have you been?? You're grounded!" You are right that many alcoholics can keep it together with school or work and still have a real problem. My daughter is in college and surrounded by parties and drinking. When it starts to become a real habit and you find yourself thinking about drinking, or using alcohol for life's problems, you may be in trouble! Better to not drink at all. You can still have fun! I didn't think that was true, but I'm having just as much fun when I go out, and you will find yourself looking at all the drunk people and thanking your stars you aren't acting they way they are! Thank you so much for coming here! I hope you come back often! We all understand what it's like and you will get only positive energy and encouragement here!