RJY9

Had a very strange experience this week. It had highs and lows but whatever i felt i needed to get out of my system this weekend then i sure did! Its only 1 week since i started drinking again and im on the way to giving it another crack of the whip with regards to quitting for life. I've seen things in a whole new way recently and as well as being contastlty unhappy and depressed about my looks, my weight, my motivation, my incredible raw talent to be the most embaraasing person and obnoxtious idiot on the face of the earth, i have finally come to realise and see my life for what it is. I'm a regular speaker to Jesus (ie. i pray every night) I have never asked for anything other than to keep my family safe and to guide me in my quest to switch off the alcohol button and difuse the bugger forever! Well im pleased to say that i feel that my prayers are being answered and what ever path i have been placed on this earth to take, then i beleive im on that path with a huge light in the didtance, which is something i havent seen before as my world has become dark and self indulged and cowardly hiding in the bottle. I'm hitting the Gym tomorrow and tomorrow will be the first day of the rest of my life. I beleive.

least

Glad you're back trying again. Don't give up! Keep trying til you get it right.

RJY9

Just the words i need to hear right now! Thank you so much.

Dee74

good to see you back
I hope you can make this your turning point RJY

D

MIRecovery

I get on my knees daily and ask God to remove the obsession and compulsion to drink for that day so far it's worked out pretty good. God does for me what I can I do for myself

Bubovski

Resolves lead to greater resolves and hopefully some long term peace.

Enjoy the gym, I'm off there tomorrow. Today its a Big book study group.

Nighthawk8820

God has a funny way of helping you out when you need it the most. For me, I also prayed and then one day, my cravings just sort of went away and a whole new life opened up for me. Now I am at 2 years and I thank the lord everyday for giving me another chance at life. Sure I get pissy and have little tantrums at times, but I am still so grateful to be where I am today.

Hevyn

Glad you're giving it another go. You don't need it in your life.

RJY9

Thanks for the replies guys. Almost over day 1

ClearLight

Good luck!

I had hundreds of day ones so please don't give up.

RJY9

Looks like tomorrows gonna be day 1 again. I didnt even last since i posted this. My dad came round and then my freind came to help me fix the bathroom plumbing and all of a sudden all 3 of us are at the pub. I'm dissapointed in myself because if you read this headline thread then i say just the oposite. Am i in the wrong place being here i keep relaspsing??? So sorry.

doggonecarl

SR isn't the wrong place. The Pub is.

What posessed you to go, given what you posted earlier?

Anna

You don't have to go through this again.

I'm glad you're again.

RJY9

The thought of that first 2 pint buzz with my Dad and friend in the sunny pub garden is what posessd me. I'm a bit of a different alcoholic as i know i have an issue with drinking at least 4 cans per night of 5.5% cider but can be very social and not give any indication to my parents or friends that i have a drink problem. I guess this is a skill us alcoholics aquire over time. I'm in no doubt what so ever that im an alky and the main reason i want to quit is because i dont want to get Liver damage and also i dont want to waste all my money and argue with my wife about that. I'm here to be honest and this probally wont be the last time i say im gonna be amazing and then relapse but writing my feelings here is helping me no matter what situation i'm in.

trikyriky

That's your AV talking , we'll have one more round then we'll begin. Those rounds and day 1's happen again and again. Funny thing tho as we get older there's a better chance that the damage to your body is already done . You made it 2 hours and 20 minutes from your last decision to quit. I'd say your resolve needs some tweaking " don't you "

ScottFromWI

Actually there is nothing different about that at all, just about all of us think or thought we are the mythical "functioning alcoholic". But in reality, it's the textbook alcoholic just finding another way to rationalize drinking.

The key is commitment - first to the fact that you cannot control your drinking, and then committing to some type of program or plan to keep yourself from picking up that first drink.

Nuudawn

Good on ya. The day I faced up to fact I needed to stop drinking, I truly realized that when "nothing changes, nothing changes". I can only transform my life...sober. Welcome back.

Carlotta

We are all a little bit different alcoholics here but we share one thing in common, we cannot drink safely, we have an obsession of the mind and an allergy of the body

RJY9

I will keep trying and come back hopefullly soon when i have some good news to tell u all. I might be back tommorrow or i might be back in a month? who knows! (with good news would be the best outcome after a month) and as i'm the most honest guy i know i will tell u that im gonna start again on Monday. I dont need to give the same ******** reasons as youve heard before as to why its Monday, you know the score with this drinking problem (aka the green goblin of depression)

doggonecarl

I don't know what your recovery plan is...I'm guessing you don't have one. So why not make SR a daily part of your recovery. You haven't had much success being an infrequent visitor, so try posting and reading daily. It can't go worse. There's a thread for those quitting in July. Shared support is a wonderful thing!