Sinderos

Yep....I fell hard off of the wagon. I thoroughly enjoyed my 9 days of sobriety. I really want to quit drinking!!!

I've had a really hard 2 weeks. My 37 yr old cousin died during a routine surgery. My now ex boyfriend and I went to the beach last weekend. Both of us stayed pretty wasted the whole time. We got into a huge fight - this was the first time in 2 1/2 years that he got physical. I realized he's been using me and doesn't love me which is what caused the fight (first time I've ever read his text messages which was wrong of me, but boy did it wake me up!!!) Stupid me still loves him though and I miss him like crazy. Work has been super stressful and I've been drinking way too much.

TBH, I'm drinking today, but only because of how bad the withdrawals are. I'm taking it very easy though and don't have much alcohol in the house. Tomorrow I'm starting over and am going to try hard to keep my guard up and quit for good. Not being with my ex bf will help because he was my drinking buddy.

I feel bad about myself for falling again, but know I have to dust off and try again or I'll never get better.

visch1

Welcome back. Try, try again. Try reading a lot of posts here and perhaps a serious look at AA, it's helped millions over the years. BE WELL

DAB

Good luck to you Sinderos!
I am glad that you are here and not giving up.
The only thing harder than quitting is picking yourself up after a slip.
I know you can do it!

Sinderos

Thank you! I am going to be on here a lot more. I finally got a laptop and wifi at home so it makes it a lot easier. I only had my iPhone before. I'm going to try much harder this time. I am going back to AA too. I quit going during my drinking weeks.

least

Glad you're back on the right track again. Never give up!

Nighthawk8820

I dont even know where to begin. First of all, you need to stop making excuses about why you chose to drink. Either you want to be sober or your dont, and your the one who chose to use instead of not. Life will always throw curve balls and there will always be tough times. You can learn to deal with these without using. So you messed up, learn from it, and try again.

Second, you need to ditch the guy. He isnt good for you, especially if you want to get sober and grow into a healthy,happy person. It just wont happen if he is around. You think you love him, but no, you just have codependency issues and are afraid to be alone. Thats okay, many addicts have that too. In sobriety, you will learn to stand on your own and rely on your inner strength and character. You can find a sense of confidence you might not even think is possible right now. I believe you can do this, but you have to start by making some changes and the sooner the better.

Right now, put all you got into kicking your addiction. You dont have time to be dating or be bogged down by fights and drama right now. Put yourself and your sobriety above everything else, and things will slowly begin to sort themselves out. The choice is yours, but that is the best advice I can offer you. God bless, and good luck!

GymJunkie

I totally agree with NightHawk!

Focus all if your energy on your sobriety and your health.

As for your ex- the best way o get over him is to focus on your own awesomeness. Take care of yourself, be the best you can be for YOU, and he will fade into the background.

Good luck!