sassu78

I just wanted to tell everybody who has a family, loving significant other or children supporting you, you are very, very blessed and lucky. Tell them every day that you're thankful for their support.

I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday and the main reason for that is that me getting sober was a negative thing for him. He doesn't drink a lot but he hangs out with people who do. He loved the party girl me who got drunk and loud and entertained the whole room. The problem is that I hated her.

I feel like my world is upside down.
I was sober for 21 days and felt amazing.
But the pressure from my friends and fear of being all alone was too much.
I relapsed. When that happened few of our mutual friends told me that they're so proud of me for having the courage to drink and "let it go" again??

Thanks to the horrible withdrawals from the first time I got sober stopped me after one day and I was able to bounce back.

I have been sober for 47 days now and I feel so healthy, strong and so much more smarter. My thoughts keep going back to my friends who all still drink and who I cut out of my life and to my now ex boyfriend who never loved the real me. Feeling abandoned is a devastating feeling. BUT I know I deserve unconditional love and obviously these people never felt that for me.

It's during these hard times that I find my strenght. Prove to myself that I'm worth my sobriety. No more quilt, lies, fake feelings. Just me and the truth.

Sorry for the long post. Just needed to vent.

Stay strong and keep it up!

KaytiP

I am sorry that you had to break up, but you are right you do deserve and will find unconditional love. You sound happy with sober you and sober you deserves to be treated kindly and with respect for having the courage to give it up. I am proud of you, no I don't know you but there is a little bit of each other in all of us I think.

SeekSobriety

Thank you so much for your powerful post.
It is so hurtful to know that the people we think cared about us most, actually did not. Soon we can find new friends and relationships which are based on truth, understanding and real love. People who want to help bring us up, not take us down.

I hope and pray that things continue to get better for you. Congratulations on the sobriety time you have. Keep up the great work!

mecanix

sassu,
your post has blown me away . I'm so glad you dug deep and found the will to go on .


Yes , Yes , Yes , Yes . I'm sure someone will really treasure you that is just glorious .

Bestwishes, m

sassu78

I know what you mean!! I feel that way too. I kinda feel like I know you guys eventhough I really don't.

Thank you all for your replies. You are amazing!!

upandup

Hi sassu, I did the something similar, I broke up with my boyfriend too. It's hard to be with someone who doesn't love you for the real you. You're setting yourself up for a good, honest relationship later down the road

Hevyn

Sassu - I'm so sorry for the pain you've gone through. I agree - this needed to happen so you can have the beautiful and genuine life that's waiting for you. Those who don't understand or refuse to try - are not worthy of us.

You're never alone with this. You've lost your superficial friends, but you have us.

Anna

I'm sorry you had to go through that, but early recovery shakes up everything and we never know quite how it will all settle out. But, it sounds like you're doing well.

LadyinBC

Absolutely love this! I think this is why so many of us feel so connected to each other even though we don't know each other.

Sassu, you deserve people who will cherish you and give you the respect and support you so deserve.

Nighthawk8820

First of all, never let anyone dull your shine or make you 2nd guess your sobriety. It may seem harsh now, but him leaving was a blessing if I ever heard of one. He was NO good and now you are that much better off having him out of the picture. In sobriety, we learn many hard lessons about who are our friends and who we can rely on. I pretty much lost every "Friend" I had from my using days, which was tough at first, but now I see its how it had to be. I made new friends, and they like me for me, not just because I am fun at parties or someone to go out with. Sometimes to get to greatness, you must walk alone for a while. So you relapsed? Well, learn from it and learn what NOT to do this next time around. You can do this! Congrats on the 47 days!!!

sassu78

Thanks Nighthawk!

Yeah, I relapsed after 21 days. Only had few drinks though and got right back on the wagon.

I don't doubt my sobriety or feel any social pressure anymore.
I know he wasn't the right one for me and it's good that he's gone.

Yes it's hard at times but I get stronger every sober day.

I'm excited to start a new life and meet new people.

Thank you all for your support

Dee74

I found I was living an unauthentic life - it was a life perfectly geared to being a drunk, but not to who I really was.

I found that real authentic life - it fits, and I'm happy.

Change is painful - but it can lead to some awesome things sassu

D

soberclover

Your post gives me much to reflect on as I can relate to your situation. I respect your decision very much! Thank you for your post!

Sally3127

Good for you. You should be very proud of yourself.