I just want to know if these thoughts are normal with all you guys...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 54
I just want to know if these thoughts are normal with all you guys...
In the beginning, I'm on day 3.
I know about the AV. But I can't at this moment give a rebuttal to the thoughts:
There is no real purpose in life anyway.
You're going to die alone anyway.
Do you really think you can do this forever when you can't even make it 5 days?
You're too bored and have no friends that don't use, you'll be in solitary confinement.
You won't have the energy to do anything for a long time.
Enjoy dealing with the depression that caused you to start this anyway.
You've been at this for 3 years, you think you're going to feel better any sooner than 3 more?
I could go on. But these are the ones that cut the deepest. Did you guys have these thoughts too? How long before they stop? Where did all this self hate come from, I'm not a bad person aside from being an addict?
beware of broken people, for they know how to survive
I know about the AV. But I can't at this moment give a rebuttal to the thoughts:
There is no real purpose in life anyway.
You're going to die alone anyway.
Do you really think you can do this forever when you can't even make it 5 days?
You're too bored and have no friends that don't use, you'll be in solitary confinement.
You won't have the energy to do anything for a long time.
Enjoy dealing with the depression that caused you to start this anyway.
You've been at this for 3 years, you think you're going to feel better any sooner than 3 more?
I could go on. But these are the ones that cut the deepest. Did you guys have these thoughts too? How long before they stop? Where did all this self hate come from, I'm not a bad person aside from being an addict?
beware of broken people, for they know how to survive
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
Originally Posted by eastboundndown 
In the beginning, I'm on day 3.
I know about the AV. But I can't at this moment give a rebuttal to the thoughts:
There is no real purpose in life anyway.
There isn't while continuing to drink.
You're going to die alone anyway.
You cannot know this. Do you think you have a better chance of attracting a partner as a drunk?
Do you really think you can do this forever when you can't even make it 5 days?
It gets much better over time.
You're too bored and have no friends that don't use, you'll be in solitary confinement.
Those drinking buddies will show you which are true friends and which are just people who need someone to share inane prattle while drinking.
The ones that move away will make room for healthy fun adult relationships.
You won't have the energy to do anything for a long time.
If you never start, things will never improve.
Enjoy dealing with the depression that caused you to start this anyway.
Drinking is a depressant. In my case, drinking made me more depressed. If you quit self medicating, you can figure out how you really feel.
You've been at this for 3 years, you think you're going to feel better any sooner than 3 more?
Things get better all the time.
I could go on. But these are the ones that cut the deepest. Did you guys have these thoughts too? How long before they stop? Where did all this self hate come from, I'm not a bad person aside from being an addict?
beware of broken people, for they know how to survive
I know about the AV. But I can't at this moment give a rebuttal to the thoughts:
There is no real purpose in life anyway.
There isn't while continuing to drink.
You're going to die alone anyway.
You cannot know this. Do you think you have a better chance of attracting a partner as a drunk?
Do you really think you can do this forever when you can't even make it 5 days?
It gets much better over time.
You're too bored and have no friends that don't use, you'll be in solitary confinement.
Those drinking buddies will show you which are true friends and which are just people who need someone to share inane prattle while drinking.
The ones that move away will make room for healthy fun adult relationships.
You won't have the energy to do anything for a long time.
If you never start, things will never improve.
Enjoy dealing with the depression that caused you to start this anyway.
Drinking is a depressant. In my case, drinking made me more depressed. If you quit self medicating, you can figure out how you really feel.
You've been at this for 3 years, you think you're going to feel better any sooner than 3 more?
Things get better all the time.
I could go on. But these are the ones that cut the deepest. Did you guys have these thoughts too? How long before they stop? Where did all this self hate come from, I'm not a bad person aside from being an addict?
beware of broken people, for they know how to survive
You have identified it, which is a positive step.
You will learn to ignore, rather than argue with it.
It is nothing but lies and distortions. It preys on your weaknesses, your negative self talk, your insecurities.
What kind of A hole preys on someone's innermost worries and weaknesses?
A scared pathetic little beast. Afraid it won't get fed. It knows you get stronger and it will get weaker.
It's voice quiets down too. Hang in there. Ignore the beast.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Every one of those... and probably 150 more.
My mind fed me a lot of garbage based on my fear and my discomfort and pain.
I had no idea what recovery or a sober clean reality would be like - for 20 years I'd only experienced the briefest of periods totally straight....days mostly.
Early recovery is rough.
But early recovery is not the same as recovery...things will get better.
If they didn't very few of us would stick with this and those who did would come out the other end like Chuck Norris or something.
Just stick with it...we gave years to getting high - you can give a few weeks to this
D
My mind fed me a lot of garbage based on my fear and my discomfort and pain.
I had no idea what recovery or a sober clean reality would be like - for 20 years I'd only experienced the briefest of periods totally straight....days mostly.
Early recovery is rough.
But early recovery is not the same as recovery...things will get better.
If they didn't very few of us would stick with this and those who did would come out the other end like Chuck Norris or something.
Just stick with it...we gave years to getting high - you can give a few weeks to this
D
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Your thoughts and views might be wrong, half truths or the truth as humans our perceptions of reality are limited and dependant on our observation point .
The only way to find out what changes can happen or we can make happen when we get sober is to stay sober .
If you go back to using , you know exactly where that crazy old spiral will take you .
That's how it is for me ,
Bestwishes, m
The only way to find out what changes can happen or we can make happen when we get sober is to stay sober .
If you go back to using , you know exactly where that crazy old spiral will take you .
That's how it is for me ,
Bestwishes, m
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,361
Originally Posted by eastboundndown
In the beginning, I'm on day 3.
I know about the AV. But I can't at this moment give a rebuttal to the thoughts:
There is no real purpose in life anyway.
if there isn't might as well have a good time, being wasted isn't a good time.
You're going to die alone anyway.
Do you really need others to make you happy? Everything around us changes with the years, people come and go, only thing kinda solid is YOU
Do you really think you can do this forever when you can't even make it 5 days?
I've been on and off the wagon for the last eight years. Still i've managed to overcome serevere depression, anxiety, I've learned to love myself no matter what, I haven't drank in ages, haven't done cocain in the last two and half years, haven't done weed in six months, haven't smoked a cig the last week.
It can take many years, but sooner or later you'll get the hang of it, unless you stop trying.
You're too bored and have no friends that don't use, you'll be in solitary confinement.
I still don't have any friends, so I have time for working out, videogames, movies, reading books, study, everybody seems to get wasted as a wreckreational activity, $%^& conformation.
You won't have the energy to do anything for a long time.
being lazy is a luxury. as a hunter gatherer being lazy meant death.
Enjoy dealing with the depression that caused you to start this anyway.
life is suffering. It just is, so stop wasting time thinking about it. being happy is a cultivated state. if you can cultivate a healthier body, it is possible to cultivate a healthier mind.
You've been at this for 3 years, you think you're going to feel better any sooner than 3 more?
Yes. if you truely change your lifestyle there will be significant changes in months, not years.
I could go on. But these are the ones that cut the deepest. Did you guys have these thoughts too? How long before they stop? Where did all this self hate come from, I'm not a bad person aside from being an addict?
beware of broken people, for they know how to survive
I know about the AV. But I can't at this moment give a rebuttal to the thoughts:
There is no real purpose in life anyway.
if there isn't might as well have a good time, being wasted isn't a good time.
You're going to die alone anyway.
Do you really need others to make you happy? Everything around us changes with the years, people come and go, only thing kinda solid is YOU
Do you really think you can do this forever when you can't even make it 5 days?
I've been on and off the wagon for the last eight years. Still i've managed to overcome serevere depression, anxiety, I've learned to love myself no matter what, I haven't drank in ages, haven't done cocain in the last two and half years, haven't done weed in six months, haven't smoked a cig the last week.
It can take many years, but sooner or later you'll get the hang of it, unless you stop trying.
You're too bored and have no friends that don't use, you'll be in solitary confinement.
I still don't have any friends, so I have time for working out, videogames, movies, reading books, study, everybody seems to get wasted as a wreckreational activity, $%^& conformation.
You won't have the energy to do anything for a long time.
being lazy is a luxury. as a hunter gatherer being lazy meant death.
Enjoy dealing with the depression that caused you to start this anyway.
life is suffering. It just is, so stop wasting time thinking about it. being happy is a cultivated state. if you can cultivate a healthier body, it is possible to cultivate a healthier mind.
You've been at this for 3 years, you think you're going to feel better any sooner than 3 more?
Yes. if you truely change your lifestyle there will be significant changes in months, not years.
I could go on. But these are the ones that cut the deepest. Did you guys have these thoughts too? How long before they stop? Where did all this self hate come from, I'm not a bad person aside from being an addict?
beware of broken people, for they know how to survive
Enjoy being a sober mess
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: london uk
Posts: 261
Originally Posted by eastboundndown
In the beginning, I'm on day 3.
I know about the AV. But I can't at this moment give a rebuttal to the thoughts:
There is no real purpose in life anyway.
You're going to die alone anyway.
Do you really think you can do this forever when you can't even make it 5 days?
You're too bored and have no friends that don't use, you'll be in solitary confinement.
You won't have the energy to do anything for a long time.
Enjoy dealing with the depression that caused you to start this anyway.
You've been at this for 3 years, you think you're going to feel better any sooner than 3 more?
I could go on. But these are the ones that cut the deepest. Did you guys have these thoughts too? How long before they stop? Where did all this self hate come from, I'm not a bad person aside from being an addict?
beware of broken people, for they know how to survive
I know about the AV. But I can't at this moment give a rebuttal to the thoughts:
There is no real purpose in life anyway.
You're going to die alone anyway.
Do you really think you can do this forever when you can't even make it 5 days?
You're too bored and have no friends that don't use, you'll be in solitary confinement.
You won't have the energy to do anything for a long time.
Enjoy dealing with the depression that caused you to start this anyway.
You've been at this for 3 years, you think you're going to feel better any sooner than 3 more?
I could go on. But these are the ones that cut the deepest. Did you guys have these thoughts too? How long before they stop? Where did all this self hate come from, I'm not a bad person aside from being an addict?
beware of broken people, for they know how to survive
good luck normie
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
"The Poison That's Killing You"
hi eastboundndown
best just to think about the positive side of being sober
either strung out or clean everyone knows
for the addict life without drug abuse is the best life
how long are we going to cheat ourselves, families and friends
how long are we going to deceive ourselves
I remember waking with the first thought of the day
let's get some drugs in here fast
if one wishes to be free
sobriety is freedom
don't listen to all of the BS you are feeding yourself
think of it this way
the devil is whispering in your ear
how tough and rough this is going to be
because
he wants you not to be free
"The Poison That's Killing You"
You said you were done
you said you were through
please understand and see
the poison that's killing you.
Before your time
it will make you feel old
it's taking it's toll
has such a strong hold.
Are you going insane
the devil wants that to be
his grip is on you
it's what he wants to see.
Complete destruction of
your family and home
is what he's after
the devil's on the roam.
It will happen sooner than you think
this will all come to it's ends
the poison that's killing you
will take away loved one's and friends.
Mountainmanbob 06-12-05
best just to think about the positive side of being sober
either strung out or clean everyone knows
for the addict life without drug abuse is the best life
how long are we going to cheat ourselves, families and friends
how long are we going to deceive ourselves
I remember waking with the first thought of the day
let's get some drugs in here fast
if one wishes to be free
sobriety is freedom
don't listen to all of the BS you are feeding yourself
think of it this way
the devil is whispering in your ear
how tough and rough this is going to be
because
he wants you not to be free
"The Poison That's Killing You"
You said you were done
you said you were through
please understand and see
the poison that's killing you.
Before your time
it will make you feel old
it's taking it's toll
has such a strong hold.
Are you going insane
the devil wants that to be
his grip is on you
it's what he wants to see.
Complete destruction of
your family and home
is what he's after
the devil's on the roam.
It will happen sooner than you think
this will all come to it's ends
the poison that's killing you
will take away loved one's and friends.
Mountainmanbob 06-12-05
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Your AV is very good at getting your brain to reason with you as to why you should drink. I have to admit that the first few weeks I felt tired all the time. Slowly but surely those thoughts dissipate but it takes some perseverance to get through it.
There's no doubt that early sobriety is tough because you're learning a new way of life. However, it does get easier.
Hang in there, for every day that you stay sober the next morning will feel better.
There's no doubt that early sobriety is tough because you're learning a new way of life. However, it does get easier.
Hang in there, for every day that you stay sober the next morning will feel better.
Nothing is impossible!
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: EAGAN
Posts: 792
Originally Posted by eastboundndown
In the beginning, I'm on day 3.
I know about the AV. But I can't at this moment give a rebuttal to the thoughts:
There is no real purpose in life anyway.
You're going to die alone anyway.
Do you really think you can do this forever when you can't even make it 5 days?
You're too bored and have no friends that don't use, you'll be in solitary confinement.
You won't have the energy to do anything for a long time.
Enjoy dealing with the depression that caused you to start this anyway.
You've been at this for 3 years, you think you're going to feel better any sooner than 3 more?
I could go on. But these are the ones that cut the deepest. Did you guys have these thoughts too? How long before they stop? Where did all this self hate come from, I'm not a bad person aside from being an addict?
beware of broken people, for they know how to survive
I know about the AV. But I can't at this moment give a rebuttal to the thoughts:
There is no real purpose in life anyway.
You're going to die alone anyway.
Do you really think you can do this forever when you can't even make it 5 days?
You're too bored and have no friends that don't use, you'll be in solitary confinement.
You won't have the energy to do anything for a long time.
Enjoy dealing with the depression that caused you to start this anyway.
You've been at this for 3 years, you think you're going to feel better any sooner than 3 more?
I could go on. But these are the ones that cut the deepest. Did you guys have these thoughts too? How long before they stop? Where did all this self hate come from, I'm not a bad person aside from being an addict?
beware of broken people, for they know how to survive
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: CAPE COD, MA
Posts: 1,020
One of the things I needed to do was try to get honest with MYSELF. It was difficult in the beginning because I listened to my shite fairy too often until the plug was in the jug. I needed to listen what was said at AA meetings even if I didn't want to and grow up not being under the influence, physically and mentally. Then it made sense to me that not picking up the first drink meant I didn't have to try to get sober again. BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: California
Posts: 228
I think those are normal thoughts. These are the existential thoughts that have plagued human kind since consciousness. It's hard and that is why people drink...or find spiritual awakening.
I'm not a religious person, but focusing on mindfulness has helped my sobriety and my life immensely. If you are fond of reading sobriety books, I just finished reading Kristin Johnston's book "Guts" in which she describes wanting her standing ovation after her theater performance to be over already so she can finally get her drink. Looking back, she realizes how sick this was... here people were standing on their feet cheering and clapping for her but she couldn't enjoy it because she wanted to drink so bad. Since she became sober, she writes on her dressing room mirror "This is the main event!" ... as in, being a part of the production is the big thing, not the drinking after.
I think about that all the time now, and not when something great or special happens. That's alcoholic thinking..."I would be happy if I had ____" "I need something (booze, money, sex, stuff...) to make me happy." Life does seem purposeless until you realize the purpose is THIS moment. The purpose is the feeling of carpet under your feet, the sound of the coffee pot, the air in your lungs... THIS is the main event. THIS moment is at once so banal and so sacred. This moment is the main event and this is true for everyone from presidents to beggars.
This is a quote by favorite writer Milan Kundera,
"There would seem to be nothing more obvious, more tangible and palpable than the present moment. And yet, it eludes us completely. All the sadness of life lies in that fact."
I'm not a religious person, but focusing on mindfulness has helped my sobriety and my life immensely. If you are fond of reading sobriety books, I just finished reading Kristin Johnston's book "Guts" in which she describes wanting her standing ovation after her theater performance to be over already so she can finally get her drink. Looking back, she realizes how sick this was... here people were standing on their feet cheering and clapping for her but she couldn't enjoy it because she wanted to drink so bad. Since she became sober, she writes on her dressing room mirror "This is the main event!" ... as in, being a part of the production is the big thing, not the drinking after.
I think about that all the time now, and not when something great or special happens. That's alcoholic thinking..."I would be happy if I had ____" "I need something (booze, money, sex, stuff...) to make me happy." Life does seem purposeless until you realize the purpose is THIS moment. The purpose is the feeling of carpet under your feet, the sound of the coffee pot, the air in your lungs... THIS is the main event. THIS moment is at once so banal and so sacred. This moment is the main event and this is true for everyone from presidents to beggars.
This is a quote by favorite writer Milan Kundera,
"There would seem to be nothing more obvious, more tangible and palpable than the present moment. And yet, it eludes us completely. All the sadness of life lies in that fact."
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