Day 37 Son!!
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Day 37 Son!!
Just had a long walk and I am volunteering at the nature center tomorrow. So I felt bad this morning but after exercising I feel much better, and although it is raining again, the cloudy weather is not that bad, and I hope everyone is having a good weekend. Tonight I may go to a coffee shop and try to meet people there instead of isolating all the time. I'm trying to get through the negative thoughts and loneliness by understanding that I don't need to drink to feel relaxed or enjoy myself. I'm taking baby steps but one day I will be full grown and able to look back on this part of my life and be glad that I finally decided to quit destroying my body and and mind and start really living. This last month was difficult but now I feel that I am experiencing more inner peace and that whatever happens outside of me cannot hurt the strength I have inside. I hope everyone is doing well and staying strong.
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Originally Posted by Acheleus 
This last month was difficult but now I feel that I am experiencing more inner peace and that whatever happens outside of me cannot hurt the strength I have inside.
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Sounds like you have the perfect attitude. Learning how to cope with the bad times and remember the big picture takes foresight and the right mindset. You are showing some great character by sharing these thoughts, it's real helpful for all of us, no matter how far into sobriety we are. Thanks and have a great weekend!
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Thank you guys. I don't know why I am starting to feel better, I think it has been raining here so much that I didn't get to exercise as much the past few days, so I know that walking and running is important to my mood. I've been trying to tell myself that I don't have to be afraid of anything anymore. I'm not perfect but I can improve my faults and I don't have to do everything at once. Being patient helps me.
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Well done!
I've been following your story, as I identify very much with the sense of loneliness and isolation you have described. I'm glad you decided to continue to post.
It sounds like you're really working hard, and are starting to feel a sense of strength emerging, that's wonderful.
Please continue to post!!
I've been following your story, as I identify very much with the sense of loneliness and isolation you have described. I'm glad you decided to continue to post.
It sounds like you're really working hard, and are starting to feel a sense of strength emerging, that's wonderful.
Please continue to post!!
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Awesome post Acheleus! Big Congrats on Day 37! When did you start to experience the peace? The reason that I ask is that I am at day 39 today and this started for me towards the end of last weekend. Not to say that I don't have my moments but there was a change somewhere in that time period where I am beginning to feel comfortable in my own skin. At least that's what I think that it is.
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Lady Blue,
I started to feel peaceful this morning. It may be because my class is over that I took last month and so now I can breathe a little and just focus on the simple things. My grooming habits are better, you know, like self-care and being mindful of my body. So I guess today is when I started to feel better in my own skin. My sense of humor, which used to only come out drunk, is coming out without me knowing it. Like at the grocery store I told the checkout person I have a member number, and she said oh you can enter it on the touch pad/debit card thing. I said oh, I never knew that, but I don't know a lot of things. It really helps me to make people laugh, and it used to help me with the ladies as well. I'm just feeling excited that I can change, that I can set a course and follow it without giving up. I am an ACOA so I have trouble following through, but my counselor is really helping me see beyond all the stuff that bothers me. One day I hope to not be so alone but I can deal with being by myself right now, I will just have to learn how to meet people and be a friend. This whole deal has made me realize how alcohol ruled my life from the time I was 16, so that is hard to deal accept.
I started to feel peaceful this morning. It may be because my class is over that I took last month and so now I can breathe a little and just focus on the simple things. My grooming habits are better, you know, like self-care and being mindful of my body. So I guess today is when I started to feel better in my own skin. My sense of humor, which used to only come out drunk, is coming out without me knowing it. Like at the grocery store I told the checkout person I have a member number, and she said oh you can enter it on the touch pad/debit card thing. I said oh, I never knew that, but I don't know a lot of things. It really helps me to make people laugh, and it used to help me with the ladies as well. I'm just feeling excited that I can change, that I can set a course and follow it without giving up. I am an ACOA so I have trouble following through, but my counselor is really helping me see beyond all the stuff that bothers me. One day I hope to not be so alone but I can deal with being by myself right now, I will just have to learn how to meet people and be a friend. This whole deal has made me realize how alcohol ruled my life from the time I was 16, so that is hard to deal accept.
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Acheleus - 37 days! Lovely!
As Nuudawn I think said: 'you're sounding lighter....' I immediately thought of a. the 'unbearable lightness of being' metaphor (i.e. my gloss on that is that our moods and feelings are so transient and changeable.)
And b. re the lightness, those moments of peace, tranquillity which are infuriatingly interspersed with the heavy moments, like you said yesterday ' I hope I'm not losing my mind'. My immediate thought then is: 'he ain't heavy, he's my brother...'
Given you're into music, although you're much younger than some of us crusty types, do you know that song? I think it got many of us through OUR younger years when we heard it.
SR is very much like that: 'you're not heavy, you're our brother....'. No burden at all. We each try to carry each other here.
As Nuudawn I think said: 'you're sounding lighter....' I immediately thought of a. the 'unbearable lightness of being' metaphor (i.e. my gloss on that is that our moods and feelings are so transient and changeable.)
And b. re the lightness, those moments of peace, tranquillity which are infuriatingly interspersed with the heavy moments, like you said yesterday ' I hope I'm not losing my mind'. My immediate thought then is: 'he ain't heavy, he's my brother...'
Given you're into music, although you're much younger than some of us crusty types, do you know that song? I think it got many of us through OUR younger years when we heard it.
SR is very much like that: 'you're not heavy, you're our brother....'. No burden at all. We each try to carry each other here.
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Thank you. I looked at meetup.com and signed up. So maybe I can find groups in my area like a writers group that I can join. I've found that I have to make things happen, great things won't just occur out of the blue. Drinking just prevented me from saying, "hell yes, I can do this, and it's not hard." So yea. I'm feeling lighter because I am getting through the self-doubt and realizing that I can make good things happen in my life, and that I am a good person who deserves a positive life.
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Originally Posted by Acheleus
Just had a long walk and I am volunteering at the nature center tomorrow. So I felt bad this morning but after exercising I feel much better, and although it is raining again, the cloudy weather is not that bad, and I hope everyone is having a good weekend. Tonight I may go to a coffee shop and try to meet people there instead of isolating all the time. I'm trying to get through the negative thoughts and loneliness by understanding that I don't need to drink to feel relaxed or enjoy myself. I'm taking baby steps but one day I will be full grown and able to look back on this part of my life and be glad that I finally decided to quit destroying my body and and mind and start really living. This last month was difficult but now I feel that I am experiencing more inner peace and that whatever happens outside of me cannot hurt the strength I have inside. I hope everyone is doing well and staying strong.
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