Woodsman

Girlfriend of eight years tempts me to drink every time we go out she's addicted to whiskey and I'm watching her self destruct. Help

Anna

That sounds like a difficult, if not impossible, situation.

Are you trying to stay sober and she's offering you alcohol? If so, you might need to distance yourself for awhile until you feel stronger.

Dee74

Hi and welcome woodsman
I'm sorry for your situation but I know you'll find a lot of support here.

if they don't see a problem or don't want to stop, I'm not sure what you can do. They need to make the changes, y'know?

You can do a lot for your own well being tho - there are avenues of support like this board and things like AlAnon.

You can keep working on your own recovery too if you have a problem as well - that way you'll be doing the best for yourself and you might just be an inspiration to her too?

D

MIRecovery

Nobody absolutely nobody is worth risking your sobriety over. People who want you to drink are people who want you dead

DAB

Misery loves company.

sugarbear1

You have 12 years of sobriety? Way to go!

least

to the family! Your gf won't help herself until she wants help, there's not much you can do to help her. Get support for yourself from AlAnon or the friends and family forums here.

Woodsman

Stumbling as a new comer, my humble apologies for not introducing myself first, I'm Woodsman, yet when comes to tech & texting I'm closer to a caveman. Thanks for your patience and understanding

Nuudawn

Welcome Woodsman : ) You're decision is a deeply personal one...and 8 years is a good chunk of time. Somebody noted you have 12 years of sobriety? So you have been dealing with this quite awhile? I think I'm confused....

Woodsman

Would you consider this site a good place for those of us
dealing with co-dependence issues?

Nuudawn

The Friends & Family Forum will likely have more to offer as far as codependent issues I believe.

Woodsman

Nuudawn, Let me explain, 8 years with her, did not realize depth of her addiction as she was functioning up until a couple years ago. I on the other hand believe that I am suffering with co dependency issues. She's lost everything! I'm losing my mind and so confused. I've become ill, just existing, supporting her is now enabling her I can't go on living like this

Carlotta

Woodman.
The friends and family section is great for those of us with codependency issues.
There is also a thread for Double Winners: those of us who are both alcoholics and codependents. I hope you will join us
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...loved-one.html

Carlotta

I would suggest that you attend Al Anon if possible. Also set very clear boundaries you are comfortable with and stick to them.
An example might be: I will not hang out with you when you are drinking.
If you go out and she starts drinking, make sure she has money for transportation and leave. She will be VERY pissed off but if you stick to that boundary, she will start learning that if she wants to spend time with you she cannot be drinking.
This is just an example of course, find what triggers you, draw a line, inform her of it comely and stick to it no matter what.

When it comes to her alcoholism you did not cause it, you cannot control it and you cannot cure it. All you can do as a double winner is put the oxygen mask on first and take care of number one.
For people like you and I , if our codependency triggers us and we start drinking, it's not just a matter of being miserable like most codependents. For us, it's a matter of life and death.

Nighthawk8820

Dump her and move on. You cant make anyone change or get help if they dont want it. Its harsh, but you have a whole life to live. If its meant to be, she will get help, get sober, and after a few years...........maybe you can reunite. As is, its not a situation you need to be in.