Really, really angry and frustrated.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 133
Really, really angry and frustrated.
OK here is my situation. I have this old cat. She is going on 18 years old and has developed a filthy habit of peeing on everything on the floor. If anything new, such as a towel, clothing is left on the floor she will pee on it. In the last week I have gone through 3 rugs because of objects that have been left on top of the rugs.
We have made her a new litter box and have done various things to encourage her not to pee on objects.
I am at my wits end and so angry with my husband because I have been wanting to euthanize her. She can barely walk and I know she is in the early stages of kidney failure. She has had a good life here but this ruining of my rugs is getting me really frustrated. My husband says we cannot euthanize a pet due to convenience and then berates me for leaving things on the floor. I am so angry - like last night, I just happened to leave my panties on the floor and this morning I went to pick them up and they are sopping wet. The damn cat peed on them - and on top of a brand new rug. I am beyond angry. I am tired of finding reeking piles of things (covered in cat pee). I'm tired of ruined rugs. This has been going on for well over a year (if not more). I am tried of being blamed for the cat peeing on things.
I love my pets, but at some point we cant have them destroying our house.
WE went on a vacation 2 weeks ago (had a pet sitter) and when we came home, I found several cushions had been peed and pooped on (and ruined). It has escalated this past week.
Am I wrong to want to euthanize this cat? Please give me some advise because right now I am so angry and I don't want to go out and drink from frustration.
We have made her a new litter box and have done various things to encourage her not to pee on objects.
I am at my wits end and so angry with my husband because I have been wanting to euthanize her. She can barely walk and I know she is in the early stages of kidney failure. She has had a good life here but this ruining of my rugs is getting me really frustrated. My husband says we cannot euthanize a pet due to convenience and then berates me for leaving things on the floor. I am so angry - like last night, I just happened to leave my panties on the floor and this morning I went to pick them up and they are sopping wet. The damn cat peed on them - and on top of a brand new rug. I am beyond angry. I am tired of finding reeking piles of things (covered in cat pee). I'm tired of ruined rugs. This has been going on for well over a year (if not more). I am tried of being blamed for the cat peeing on things.
I love my pets, but at some point we cant have them destroying our house.
WE went on a vacation 2 weeks ago (had a pet sitter) and when we came home, I found several cushions had been peed and pooped on (and ruined). It has escalated this past week.
Am I wrong to want to euthanize this cat? Please give me some advise because right now I am so angry and I don't want to go out and drink from frustration.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
I am a dog person but I can definitely relate. Our 14 year old spaniel started craping the house. he had a lot of other things wrong with him but the messes in the house were the final straw. it broke my heart but it was time for him to go. looking back it was the best thing we could have done.
We Do Recover
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,619
First of all--When was her last exam done by the Vet? Alot of things can cause this type of behavior. Blood and urine test can help rule out or confirm what the problem is--whether bladder infection, kidney disease and/or failure, diabetes etc.
It might be good to have a medical diagnosis before making a final decision concerning a pet you have had for the past 18 years. At least then you would know what treatment (if any) would be able to improve this situation. Plus your husband might be able to let go easier should the Dr say that the cat has a poor prognosis and he/she recommend euthanasia.
It might be good to have a medical diagnosis before making a final decision concerning a pet you have had for the past 18 years. At least then you would know what treatment (if any) would be able to improve this situation. Plus your husband might be able to let go easier should the Dr say that the cat has a poor prognosis and he/she recommend euthanasia.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK (England)
Posts: 2,782
You dont have to go out and drink because you are frustrated. Do something to get rid of your frustration thats healthy instead of something destructive. Is there a chance that your angry in general and are just focusing on the issue of the cat at this moment?
I dont know your situation and i am not in a position to say whats right and wrong. I love my cat dearly and have always fully understood what i was doing when i took a new animal on and i was fully aware that they can become ill or unwell and they may not necessarily behave as we would always like. I would never in a million years get rid of my cat unless she was suffering and then i would put my own needs aside and always do what was best for her.
Make whatever decision your happy living with.
I dont know your situation and i am not in a position to say whats right and wrong. I love my cat dearly and have always fully understood what i was doing when i took a new animal on and i was fully aware that they can become ill or unwell and they may not necessarily behave as we would always like. I would never in a million years get rid of my cat unless she was suffering and then i would put my own needs aside and always do what was best for her.
Make whatever decision your happy living with.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
That is when Mr Sylvester "Squeek" Bojangles Katz had to be put down. He was a progressive cat, took on Lady Yetta Katz's last name when they married. Although younger than Squeek, Lady Katz expired before Squeek. Squeek was hearbroken and senile and peed on everything, too. There just was no hope for the situation and it got really bad. He especially enjoyed peeing on my old record albums, creating non-working LP's.
No, I don't think it's wrong to euthanize an old and ill cat. His doc agreed. It is heartbreaking, though.
The memories live on in celebration of the long life Squeek did have.
Hugs to you and yours (hubby and cat)
No, I don't think it's wrong to euthanize an old and ill cat. His doc agreed. It is heartbreaking, though.
The memories live on in celebration of the long life Squeek did have.
Hugs to you and yours (hubby and cat)
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 609
Originally Posted by Genie 
She can barely walk and I know she is in the early stages of kidney failure. She has had a good life here but this ruining of my rugs is getting me really frustrated....
I can understand the anger and frustration. Had a kitty, our 1st when married and she started doing same things. I was getting very angry and took a swat at her, missing. As she stepped back, she just laid down. I immediate could tell something was wrong - and we were at the vet within the hour. She was too far gone from feline leukemia to save. I remember this like it was yesterday and it was near 20 years ago. We were beyond sad. Our first pet...and we didn't realize how sick she was....never had a pet before her.
Spare yourself and husband pain and her too.
wishing you the best....terrible situation. Heartbreaking.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 133
My vet is well aware of her issues. I have a very good relationship with my vet - a 22 year relationship as he has cared for all of my dogs and cats. I am not new to euthanasia. I am a retired dog breeder and have gone down the euthanasia path more times than I care to remember. I never do it lightly - it is the hardest decision to make, but one of the most loving when a beloved animal is sick.
I do not like to watch an animal in pain and do not want to prolong their suffering for my own selfish needs - I have agonized many times over saying goodbye to beloved dogs and cats.
I'm sorry - now I've got myself crying. You know Angelina, your advice is good. I have counseled many of puppy buyers in this same situation but when it's oneself, objectivity just flies out the window. Since my vet is also a very good friend, he will be able to provide that objectivity for me. Thank you.
I do not like to watch an animal in pain and do not want to prolong their suffering for my own selfish needs - I have agonized many times over saying goodbye to beloved dogs and cats.
I'm sorry - now I've got myself crying. You know Angelina, your advice is good. I have counseled many of puppy buyers in this same situation but when it's oneself, objectivity just flies out the window. Since my vet is also a very good friend, he will be able to provide that objectivity for me. Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
I have a 19 year old Maine Coon...for the last 2 months he intermittently pees (only at night) in the kitchen in front of the food dishes. I took him to the vet for treatment of a bladder infection...he eats well, plays with the others and uses the box all day long. I changed the litter brand to a softer style..
but since it is only one other area, I use the dog's weepads at night and lots of Clorox cleanup. If I was going through what you are, I would take the cat to the vet for euthanasia also...it is a hard decision, but the cat can't walk and is suffering...she probably likes the scent of you which is why she pees on your stuff.
tell your husband to start cleaning the mess when it happens.
but since it is only one other area, I use the dog's weepads at night and lots of Clorox cleanup. If I was going through what you are, I would take the cat to the vet for euthanasia also...it is a hard decision, but the cat can't walk and is suffering...she probably likes the scent of you which is why she pees on your stuff.
tell your husband to start cleaning the mess when it happens.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,997
It sounds to me like the issue is not so much about doing what is best for the cat and your family as it is your husband disagrees with your decision. I apologize if I misunderstand.
So the cat has been checked out. There is realitively little you can do to return the cat to health so now it's the decision of at what point do you do the inevitable? I have had pets all my life and like you, you have to do them right and it is never easy.
This sounds like it really has little to do with the cat since you have been a loving and good pet owner and you know what is right to do. The problem is there is conflict on the solution?
You know your husband better than me but in my house, no one stops me from doing what I know to be right. They can be pissed off about it all they want. I tell them upfront what I want to do, why I want to do it and when I'm going to do it should no one come up with a successful alternative. I give them the time to find their solutions to present to me. Balls in their court. They know how it's going down should they not find a solution that works. I'm not just talking pets. This goes for all conflict in my house.
Sorry if this sounds cold. I'm not mean or cold. I'm actually pretty easy going and happy most times. I just stand up for myself but give folks the opportunity to do it also. If it turns out they just like talking and not acting, well, I'm back in charge. I try very hard to be nice in the process but in the end everyone has the same opportunity for action.
I'm sorry about your cat. I have a house full of dogs and cats and its never easy.
It's never easy handling conflict in a house either. Takes courage and strength and standing up for what you know is right all while being kind in the process. Takes practice and it takes being sober.
I'm sorry this is a hard time for you Genie.
So the cat has been checked out. There is realitively little you can do to return the cat to health so now it's the decision of at what point do you do the inevitable? I have had pets all my life and like you, you have to do them right and it is never easy.
This sounds like it really has little to do with the cat since you have been a loving and good pet owner and you know what is right to do. The problem is there is conflict on the solution?
You know your husband better than me but in my house, no one stops me from doing what I know to be right. They can be pissed off about it all they want. I tell them upfront what I want to do, why I want to do it and when I'm going to do it should no one come up with a successful alternative. I give them the time to find their solutions to present to me. Balls in their court. They know how it's going down should they not find a solution that works. I'm not just talking pets. This goes for all conflict in my house.
Sorry if this sounds cold. I'm not mean or cold. I'm actually pretty easy going and happy most times. I just stand up for myself but give folks the opportunity to do it also. If it turns out they just like talking and not acting, well, I'm back in charge. I try very hard to be nice in the process but in the end everyone has the same opportunity for action.
I'm sorry about your cat. I have a house full of dogs and cats and its never easy.
It's never easy handling conflict in a house either. Takes courage and strength and standing up for what you know is right all while being kind in the process. Takes practice and it takes being sober.
I'm sorry this is a hard time for you Genie.
Shape-Shifting Super-Hero
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Eating Tofu!
Posts: 882
*hugs*
It's always sad to put a pet down. I grew up in the country, and we had cats, dogs, goats, horses, ducks, chickens...and it was always hard for me to see any of them put down, though I've been through it many times. I found it especially hard with horses...perhaps because they are so powerful in life, and also so big, that it brings in a whole new set of practical considerations; it's a lot harder to bury a horse under a favored rose bush. Even the chickens made me sad.
We lost a beloved Manx cat a few years back, and still have one Manx related to him, some years younger. It's such a hard thing,really, to be in such a position, and then it makes me think about death in general, my own mortality,and of those around me. Perhaps it's a kind of rehearsal, when a pet dies, for our own end.
It's hard to know what to say...maybe you can confine the cat to a smaller area? I hope you and your husband can work through this difficult time,
much love,
H. Pup
It's always sad to put a pet down. I grew up in the country, and we had cats, dogs, goats, horses, ducks, chickens...and it was always hard for me to see any of them put down, though I've been through it many times. I found it especially hard with horses...perhaps because they are so powerful in life, and also so big, that it brings in a whole new set of practical considerations; it's a lot harder to bury a horse under a favored rose bush. Even the chickens made me sad.
We lost a beloved Manx cat a few years back, and still have one Manx related to him, some years younger. It's such a hard thing,really, to be in such a position, and then it makes me think about death in general, my own mortality,and of those around me. Perhaps it's a kind of rehearsal, when a pet dies, for our own end.
It's hard to know what to say...maybe you can confine the cat to a smaller area? I hope you and your husband can work through this difficult time,
much love,
H. Pup
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,443
My old cat got sick and peed everywhere. Found out he had kidney disease. If he hadn't been my saving grace cat who got me through my divorce and rehab and sobriety, I may have had him put down sooner rather than later. I did about four months of daily care of pills and fluids and such. We had a another good few months together. I knew when it was time to let him go.
He would not use the litter box any more, so I got those puppy pee pads and put those out around the house. Worked like a charm.
He would not use the litter box any more, so I got those puppy pee pads and put those out around the house. Worked like a charm.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 133
Thank you for all the replies. Puppy pee pads would work like a charm, since she likes to pee on anything "new" on the floor. I should clarify, she can walk but she has spinal issues so her walking is very weird, however she manages to walk and jump on the couch/chairs. We have 4 litter boxes - she has a special one, because she would not use the area where we initially had the boxes (I think the other cats bully her). We can confine her in a cage, with her own box/water/food.
Right now she is enjoying going in and outside (to sleep on the deck and scratch in my flower gardens).
I was in town today to do grocery shopping and I did not stop to pick up any liquor. I am at home again. Weird in town - I don't know if I picked up some food poisoning (stopped at taco bell) but when I was shopping I started getting light headed and then severe cramps/diarrhea. I managed to finish shopping and drive home, but I am still feeling very strange. Stomach is roiling.
I just phoned my vet clinic and have an appointment for Monday.
Thanks again for all the replies.
Right now she is enjoying going in and outside (to sleep on the deck and scratch in my flower gardens).
I was in town today to do grocery shopping and I did not stop to pick up any liquor. I am at home again. Weird in town - I don't know if I picked up some food poisoning (stopped at taco bell) but when I was shopping I started getting light headed and then severe cramps/diarrhea. I managed to finish shopping and drive home, but I am still feeling very strange. Stomach is roiling.
I just phoned my vet clinic and have an appointment for Monday.
Thanks again for all the replies.
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