GroundhogDay

The more I think about this, the more I am convinced that you should continue to participate regularly even if fewer hours overall. I am finding that it is a short road to thinking "I don't really have a problem, look how easy I quit and with no relapses." Next, I'll be thinking "after 90 days, I can try moderating." Reading these posts regularly and receiving and contributing support keeps those thoughts from becoming actions.

hayley86

This is a great post Jennie!. I have had the exact same thoughts myself lately really interested to read the responses.

Soberpotamus

Yeah this is going through my mind too, GroundHog... that I probably need to participate regularly, and I have every intention of doing so... especially the Healthy Eating thread, Gratitude threads, and the Spirituality threads. And definitely my April 2013 Class thread, and the Year and Under thread for now.

I can't imagine I'd EVER be able to rationalize the idea of moderation again, not after 10 years of attempting moderation, binging, and abstinence in cycles. I also have a pretty good motivation to stay sober because of my mom's alcohol/drug related death three years ago.

soberlicious

Balance...I struggle with it all the time. I have been in the process of teaching myself to sew and I've become obsessed lol French seams, piping, bias tape, blind hemming, flounces, self drafting patterns, pencil skirts, wiggle skirts, miles of fabric, ...my head is spinning (in a good way) and I can easily stay immersed for long periods. That's just one example among many.

Part of that is how I am, how I learn, the way I go about life. It's not a bad thing to be so passionate, but it can be exhausting because if you're like me, your mind is going all the time with one thing or another.

Balance...though I try, remains elusive. Let me know if you figure it out.

I just realized that my response has nothing to do with "recovery", but in a way it does. It has to do with my "recovery", which is just basically living my life. I quit drinking for good, so that point is moot. Good thing too, because I don't have the head space for it considering my gajilion hobbies/interests.

Judging by your posts, you are doing lots of things that are right and good for you. Keep doing that. What's right and good for you will keep changing, but just keep doing what you're doing.

SnwFlower

I agree that balance is the key. I kind of compare my own growth in sobriety to the likeness of a new life, like a newborn or even a curious little kitten or puppy. As each day and week roll on, we hit a new stage of growth, balancing our confidence and independence with trepidation and control. We start out crawling on the floor and eventually our legs and curiosity become strong enough to walk and venture further. IMO, it's all healthy growth, like ebbs and flows of the ocean, it's natural and healthy when balanced.

With that said, I absolutely love reading your posts Jennie. They are always very inspiring and uplifting and I learn a lot from your shared wisdom.

Happy Independence Day!

wanttobepure

I like to mix it up. A few days on SR, then maybe watch a recovery related movie, get off the internet for a few days and read a recovery biography, take a few days off and don't even think about recovery, etc... This approach has worked for me and kept my life balanced.

LadyinBC

I was doing to daytox, meetings, and seeing my counselor. The daytox program was about 5 weeks for me and when it was done, I did take a break from everything for about 2 weeks. I had so much information overloading my brain I needed down time to sort it all out.

Now, I do go to about 2 meetings a week, and if I miss one I will try to come here and do the chat meetings. Soemtimes I find when I don't want to go is when I need to go the most. But everyone has to find their own comfort level and do what is best for them. I jsut don't ever want to forget where I came from. We just need to find a balance that works for us.

Soberpotamus

Yes! This is how I am too

Soberpotamus

This is a great idea! Mixing it up. I think that would help me. Not to get into a routine where I HAVE to do the same things every single day... it's so easy for me to get set into a rigid sort of mindset, and I think it's that very tendency that led to drinking... to escape, to get out of the "loop" or whatever.

LadyinBC

Me too. As I come up to a year I am kind of scared about it. Sure it would be nice to say, okay I've done a year I'm good, but I know I can't do that. I know I am always going to have to work on myself and it is a bit daunting sometimes.

In someways I feel like something is ending, but I know it isn't. So I just have to make sure I don't end it. I can modify and find a balance if I need to though.

MemphisBlues

I suspect I had a few more years (or decades) in addictive drinking and drugging than you, SJ, but I pretty much did nothing but recovery for a year. A lot of that was due to my protracted withdrawal experience, and just getting to a morning meeting and an evening meeting and service work in both fellowships was an extraordinary accomplishment for me.

Approaching three years of sobriety now, I spend my time on SR, work with a fellow alcoholic/friend in daily interactions (he has some health issues, so I help him out, and I strive to just live life on life's terms (which is a struggle).

But my addictions are always lurking in the rooms somewhere. For example, if I drive by a Medical Marijuana shop the green cross signs sure seem attractive and believe me I qualify for that MM Card on many fronts. I do admire the green cross (mimics the American Red Cross, which the radical in my admires).

But I reflect back to when I had just a few months like you and the last thing
I did was compare my saturation in recovery as addictive behavior.

Soberpotamus

Maybe that is because I've been sober 4 times now, within a ten year period since age 26. I know my patterns of behavior, and how I operate. I'm very self aware, or at least I seem to be. So I have relapsed 3 times now... and I have analyzed the behavior leading up to those relapses... and I see in every single case obsessive, rigid behavior and thinking as the main culprit (along with some resentments, anxieties, and fears).

And most of the peeps on the thread get what I mean about balance... I think a balanced lifestyle or spiritual life (or however you word it...) requires some way to balance everything, including recovery time... basically, I want to mirror in my recovery what I want for the rest of my life... balance.

Ohio1

I'm kinda going through the same thoughts Jennie- I only go to about 3 meetings a week but I read a lot relating to addiction and work with my sponsor etc... and even that can feel like "maybe this is too much?".

I just think about the people in 60-90-120 day inpatient programs and how their entire lives are completely 100 percent revolving around recovery and it helps me put my 5 or 10 hrs (or a bit more sometimes) per week in perspective. Not to pull the cancer analogy again but just about anyone with any kind of cancer would kill to be able to deal with it regardless of the hours involved.

I have a friend who went through a 1 year residential treatment for heroin- she is doing tremendously well, but whenever I get these feelings of maybe I'm over reacting or maybe recovery doesn't need to be such a big deal I just imagine her putting a full year into residential. Keeping things in perspective is a big problem for me.

Soberpotamus

Ohio1... wow, yeah... great perspective! I can see what you mean. It's actually quite a privilege to be able to decide how much time I put into recovery.

Anna

Jennie, I have found balance is the key for me - not too much of anything.

My recovery is integrated into my day during my long walks, my reading, listening to music, spending time by myself, everything I do. And, when I get unbalanced, I suffer.

thuggybear

I have felt exactly like you feel. A couple years ago, after my year of sobriety I relapsed because (on top of other reasons) I felt like an "AA Robot"...totally brainwashed.

I realize now, that I needed to be a little "brainwashed" into good thinking.

It's possible (IMO) to get a little recovery burnout....in that case, add more hobbies into your life. Do things with sober people, non-recovery related. Movies, dancing, etc. Switch up your meetings? Just don't stop going completely It will get better if you put effort into a more balanced life

Tammy47

CLICHE, I know. Answer from my perspective is Balance
Think you know that though. Best wishes x

hypochondriac

I vote for just doing what you're doing. I used to worry too much that I was too concentrated on recovery and that I wasn't doing normal life stuff. People kept telling me that I was right where I needed to be and I think that was so relevant. I needed all that focus on recovery to find my sober feet. I still don't have 'balance' in my life now at 16 months sober but I am working on pulling all the loose ends of my life together and I have realised too that I am not a balanced person. I am a total geek and get obsessed with certain things and run with them. I don't think I will ever burn out with recovery though because it is such an interesting subject area, and now I am working on ways to make it part of my life without being needy about it. The way I have used these boards and the face to face support I have had has evolved over time and now I feel able to give something back by volunteering. I don't worry that I am obsessing when I am helping other people. Try not to worry too much about what you think you should be doing and just concentrate on what you need right now x

FeenixxRising

I find that thinking about "not drinking" to be as annoying as thinking about drinking. I try to push thoughts of alcohol--whatever the context--out of my mind.

In other words, I attempt to think like a normal person, and a normal person doesn't have drinking, not drinking or recovery on their mind almost every waking moment (which is how I get some days). They're too busy living life.

AlexaDaly

I think it's a great sign that you are moving forward and have confidence in your abilities of life-living! But please don't be a stranger here! I'll miss you!!