zoey09

Found this on my phone. I guess I wrote it the last time I was messed up, but don't remember doing so. Im disgusted with the way I've been treating myself, and yet I'm the only one who can change my life.
Anyways here it is


This emptiness inside me
It lingers and rots
Consumes my life now
Ties up my thoughts

i keep filling up this black
With boose and drugs
Works for a bit
Till it's done and I hate it
and just want to quit

Not a daily drinker
But an addictive thinker

Use to help heal my pain
3 years of this mess
it seems so insane

Im in such a bad place
I don't think I would mind
If it all ended today
and i Left without a trace

AlexaDaly

Great poem. You're a good writer! You really define the hopelessness of addiction very well, the trap that it is. Now write us a good one about the peace of sobriety!

ANGELINA243

I used to write alot of things too while I was caught up in my addiction. I kept it in a notebook. I think I finally got rid of it cause I was afraid what certain family members might do if they found it. I thought they might try to send me away someplace cause I wrote mostly either dark and depressing or angry stuff. I just had to get those thoughts out of my head at the time and I did feel a sense of relief afterward. That was back when I would isolate and was very distrusting of others. I am glad that now I do feel ok and able to share with others that I know really do care about me.

That is a good poem. It is sometimes nice to be reminded of where we came from in order to try to remember to keep moving forward in recovery.

zoey09

Thanks Angelina. I always write things like that at the end of the night, and then reading them sober reminds me that this is not a place i want to be...

Nuudawn

How interesting it is to see that under the influence, we are in darkness. It is no solution. That is evident by the poignant words you wrote..and don't even recall.