TheNew

I need a new approach to staying sober but I really can't think of any. I know there's NA but NA is not my thing. The approach I'm using now isn't working which is unfortunate because I really want to be sober.

Anna

Well, that's the key.

I believe it's not the program or method you use, but the motivation you have to get sober, and if you really want it, it will work for you.

SR is a great place for support.

BabyJane

There are plenty of people here who stay sober without AA / NA. For me the biggest key(s) to staying sober are educating myself about addiction and depression. I guess it helps me to feel like Im taking control of my life. But that's just me. There's a way for you too - just keep trying, don't give up and don't become a victim. Sometimes it helps me to get mad at the addiction - like angry enough to demand your life back. Think of all you've given up to this and decide enough is enough and vow to do whatever it takes to make it through today sober, no matter how uncomfortable you may feel. And ask for help if you need it. Wishing you happiness and peace as you go from here....

360shoes

Hi TheNew,
This is just what worked for me. I had to look at this thing as 2 separate things. First, I needed to just stay sober..or clean whatever applies or you want to call it..so I removed all thoughts of this works or that won't work for me because the goal at first was just not drinking. I figured I was no expert at anything in the beginning and I know for sure my head wasn't all that clear anyway. So I did the by any means possible method. And I'm not kidding, I would have done anything to get through a day in the beginning. And I did.

Part 2..so now how do I figure out how to make sense of all of this and find a thing that helps me build a life I want. Since I forced myself to keep an open mind during part 1, I sort of found my path. A little bit of everything rolled into a way of living that makes sense to me. Part 1 and part 2 sometimes were going on the same day and sometimes not but in the end, I had to say to myself I'm done and I will go to the by any means necessary to be done.

For me, it didn't matter what method I used to stay sober at first as long as I got sober. Now staying sober?? That's where I needed to find some meaning for my life.

I spent a lot of time penciling out exactly what kind of person I wanted to be. Literally. I focused on the end result and seriously wrote out every characteristic and behavior I wanted to have to live the life I wanted. Once I did that, I looked for the path that would help me achieve it.

I speak only for myself but for me, how could I possibly know how to get to being who I wanted to be if I didn't know who I wanted to be? Once I knew exactly the person I wanted to be, I found that many paths can get me there.

I'm a goal setter so that's what I did.

I wish you the best and hope you find your path!

least

When you want to be sober more than you want to drink, then you'll be able to stay sober.

AceyMack

I'm with Anna on this one (and everyone else, it looks like) - why do you want to stay sober? Your motivation is the key. But make sure you're focusing on the right thing. It's easy to say, "I want to be sober for health reasons", "financial reasons", "relationship reasons" etc... but if you're really not invested in your health / finances / relationships (which a lot of us weren't - that's why we're here), then it's almost certain to fail.

Mine? I had a daughter about 2 years ago, and want to guide her to the best of my ability, so that she remembers me in a great light. I also want to live as long as I can to see her grow up.

2granddaughters

For some , yes.

For many (most that I know) when you want to be sober so bad and can't do it you shoot yourself (self-destruct). Those are the alcoholics I want to talk to.

That's what folks here have to come to grips with. Which kind are you .....

The treatment for one kind does not work for the other.

All the best.

Bob R

hypochondriac

I had a strong motivation to quit and still couldn't, not for years anyway. What changed for me was the support of this site and AVRT. I swear that slight shift in the way I viewed addiction really made all the difference for me. Get the Rational Recovery book or google the crash course in AVRT. Also check out SMART recovery. They have meetings too. There are loads of other techniques out there and books on the subject. Alot of CBT approaches are really good if practised. And of course you could just read lots of personal accounts and see what other people did. There are lots of options, please don't give up x