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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,920
Well I went to the store and bought a bunch of candy and juju fish and jelly beans, chips and popcorn. I looked like some diabetic. I think if I let myself get hungry I crave alcohol more. Feeling better now.
Clear Eyes Full Heart
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,272
This is such a great and heartfelt thread-some very wise and compassionate people here on SR.
I agree Acheleus, you will not be alone, and you won't be sad forever. You are not your parents. It sounds like they were caught in the same spiral as the rest of us and dragged you down with them. They didn't do a good job protecting you and meeting your needs, which is a shame. It's healthy to express your anger and frustration, but forgiveness might also move you forward even though it seems impossible now. Give yourself the gift of distance to sort it all out.
We are all rooting for each other here. It's good to get the feelings out-we've remained numb for years while drinking and it does get emotional when you're actually feeling things for real.
I agree Acheleus, you will not be alone, and you won't be sad forever. You are not your parents. It sounds like they were caught in the same spiral as the rest of us and dragged you down with them. They didn't do a good job protecting you and meeting your needs, which is a shame. It's healthy to express your anger and frustration, but forgiveness might also move you forward even though it seems impossible now. Give yourself the gift of distance to sort it all out.
We are all rooting for each other here. It's good to get the feelings out-we've remained numb for years while drinking and it does get emotional when you're actually feeling things for real.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne, Victoria Australia
Posts: 1,202
Acheleus, your post before the one about going to the store just broke my heart.
The good part about that post is that you just described HOW exactly you're feeling. You're putting it out there, as a burden (well, multiple inner burdens that you feel intensely) for all of us to help you carry.
I've often been where you are at, in terms of those very dark and lonely pains in the soul. I still am, very very often. Yet.....and yet. You post again to tell us about these dark feelings and then the good feelings - including feeling better after a big dose of semi-junk food (and I don't even know what ju ju fish IS! There are many things you Americans and Canadians talk about that I've never heard of :-))
The thing is: you're still here with us, through all of this, the dark and the light, the thick and the thin, the angst about where you live, your course, your feelings about looking older (well, maybe you do: I figure there'll be lots of people out there who'd consider you look interesting, not-one-of-the-herd, well worth getting to know. Looks aren't everything, though I realise they're a frightful pressure when you're younger).
You have a sort of older sage soul. That's great! You're in great company, stretching back thousands of years. You are actually quite special, if you can believe that.
Break out that guitar again; keep posting and reading here; go to your next counselling session (the last one sounded very beneficial though I know myself it can be very hard to keep up the good momentum in between visits); eat a bit more food you like if that's what it takes - it ain't a sin, you know!
Blessings to you, Acheleus, from me in Australia
The good part about that post is that you just described HOW exactly you're feeling. You're putting it out there, as a burden (well, multiple inner burdens that you feel intensely) for all of us to help you carry.
I've often been where you are at, in terms of those very dark and lonely pains in the soul. I still am, very very often. Yet.....and yet. You post again to tell us about these dark feelings and then the good feelings - including feeling better after a big dose of semi-junk food (and I don't even know what ju ju fish IS! There are many things you Americans and Canadians talk about that I've never heard of :-))
The thing is: you're still here with us, through all of this, the dark and the light, the thick and the thin, the angst about where you live, your course, your feelings about looking older (well, maybe you do: I figure there'll be lots of people out there who'd consider you look interesting, not-one-of-the-herd, well worth getting to know. Looks aren't everything, though I realise they're a frightful pressure when you're younger).
You have a sort of older sage soul. That's great! You're in great company, stretching back thousands of years. You are actually quite special, if you can believe that.
Break out that guitar again; keep posting and reading here; go to your next counselling session (the last one sounded very beneficial though I know myself it can be very hard to keep up the good momentum in between visits); eat a bit more food you like if that's what it takes - it ain't a sin, you know!
Blessings to you, Acheleus, from me in Australia
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