DS777

Woke up drenched in sweat and with a headache this morning. I've felt a total decrepit wreck all week. Also spending a lot of time looking back and feeling quite angry with myself, me and my drinking have messed up so many opportunities and I'm slowly starting to feel those losses, does that make sense? Does anyone else feel like that?

No matter what I'm still here and I'm determined to stay sober.

You still with me stevenw198? Kind of helps knowing you're somewhere out there.

mecanix

Yeh i made mistakes in the past , i think it's important not to let them emotionaly rule now though . i don't let them make me angry, rueful, sad .

Acceptance of what was and has been .

The only way they effect me is to bolster my fortitude and perseverance or to share with others the experience to relate .

Day 6 keep on knocking them out

Bestwishes, m

GracieLou

It makes perfect sense and yes I have felt that way and there are times I still do.

As more and more times goes on more is revealed. I try to take them for what they are. They were mistakes, in the past, and I can't fix them and letting them churn in my head does no good. It only keeps me from living for today. Not letting those go means I am still hoping for a better past. That is not possible and no amount beating ourselves up is going to change it.

There is a grieving process and I grieve over many different things. I was having a really hard time last night. I was grieving over something that feels like it is the begging of the end but I don't know that, but that is what my mind does to me. It takes me places and turns it in to a **** storm. It made me feel I have a choice to make when in reality I have no control over the situation.

The old "I want what I want" defect comes back to haunt me. I wanted a quick fix to my problem and in the end it was not my problem but it made me feel lonely and lonely is a major trigger for me. It reminded me of how I used to feel and to deal with that, I drank.

Today I do not drink. Today I reach out and talk to people about it. I was told a problem shared is a problem cut in half and it really is true. As soon as I shared it became easier to deal with. It does not matter if the problem to me would appear trivial to others. There is no such thing. If it is bothering me then it is a problem and it will keep being a problem if I hold it in.

stevenw198

DS77

Still here and still sober. Not in the greatest frame of mind though been feeling really pissed off since last night. Can't even be bothered putting my daily thread on here. I actually slept ok and woke up at 7:00 am feeling good however mentally not feeling as great. I'm sure it will pass as I'm sure it will for you. Stay string my friend.

stevenw198

Stay strong I meant.