Problem with Cocaine
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 4
Problem with Cocaine
HI all, my name is Victor. I live in California. Started doing coke very seldomly, once a month or less. Now im doing it 2-3 times a week. With cocaine not only do I waste insane amounts of money but I also start drinking heavier. I honestly dont know how to stop. I try deleting the hook ups from my phone but I always end up running into it. Im ruining my life and also been dragging my girlfriend with me, asking her to lend me money. Then the next day you have to deal with being rough and also have anxiety off the charts. Anyways Im sure you heard the stories all the time, its nothing new. Just miss my old self and wish I had the power to just say STOP. But I cant! So I joined this community in the hopes that writing about and communicating with people will help me be stronger.
I dont want this in my life anymore. I miss my old self. I surround myself with party people now, miss events and miss work all the time.
I dont want this in my life anymore. I miss my old self. I surround myself with party people now, miss events and miss work all the time.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 4
Thank you Anna. Im trying my best. Tonight I got invited to a dinner party where there will be ample booze and drugs. Every part of me says dont go but I am no longer the pilot of this ship. Someone else took over the **** pit. I know I will end up miserable at 5am staring at a ceiling praying for sleep and soberness. I tried reaching out to a psychologist today and maybe thats a positive step. A first step. Thank you for welcoming me here. Feel better already. But have a long way to go.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 9
Originally Posted by victorward 
Thank you Anna. Im trying my best. Tonight I got invited to a dinner party where there will be ample booze and drugs. Every part of me says dont go but I am no longer the pilot of this ship. Someone else took over the **** pit. I know I will end up miserable at 5am staring at a ceiling praying for sleep and soberness. I tried reaching out to a psychologist today and maybe thats a positive step. A first step. Thank you for welcoming me here. Feel better already. But have a long way to go.
Just an idea: write down how much you blow on coke in a week, then ask yourself what you could get that you really want with half that money, then bank the rest.
A simple guy making his way
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Victor, welcome! SR is a great resource. Take the time to explore it to its fullest.
You are correct. Your first instinct not to go is the right one.... Well if it were me... But this is you... And when you decide to say no and stop you will.
Saying you can't stop is not a strategy. Read about different ways people do it. Think about how you can put a plan into place. Think about what has to change around you to support your decisions. And execute on the plan.
I have to tweak my plan as I learn more about myself sober. But the easiest plan of all is for me to put my sobriety first. Before family and friends... Before work and events.
Not going to the party is an example of putting sobriety first.
Welcome again...
Ken
You are correct. Your first instinct not to go is the right one.... Well if it were me... But this is you... And when you decide to say no and stop you will.
Saying you can't stop is not a strategy. Read about different ways people do it. Think about how you can put a plan into place. Think about what has to change around you to support your decisions. And execute on the plan.
I have to tweak my plan as I learn more about myself sober. But the easiest plan of all is for me to put my sobriety first. Before family and friends... Before work and events.
Not going to the party is an example of putting sobriety first.
Welcome again...
Ken
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
Listen to Nancy and....
.... JUST SAY NO!
Hi Victor. It was 1980 and cocaine was HUGE!
I started like you... a little here, a little there. Soon, I ALWAYS had a Bullet Tooter with at least a gram in my pocket..... at work, at the movies, at my parent's house for dinner. Everyone was my friend! (yeah, right...). This went on for about a year or so....
I gave up a 1-2 gram a day habit COLD TURKEY. I haven't touched that poison since. I sold a car to pay off my debt. I told all my friends to keep that stuff away from me. I stopped associating with people who were still using. It wasn't easy and I was sick for about 3 months while my system re adjusted but it was the best decision of my life!!
Please try to give it up NOW.... before you get in debt and develop a daily habit, lose your girl or get into SERIOUS trouble.
To quote Stevie Nicks.... "If you are going to keep using you had better save a bunch of money, REHAB COST'S $50,000!!"..... and that was back in the 80's.
PM me if you need to talk privately. Good Luck!
Hi Victor. It was 1980 and cocaine was HUGE!
I started like you... a little here, a little there. Soon, I ALWAYS had a Bullet Tooter with at least a gram in my pocket..... at work, at the movies, at my parent's house for dinner. Everyone was my friend! (yeah, right...). This went on for about a year or so....
I gave up a 1-2 gram a day habit COLD TURKEY. I haven't touched that poison since. I sold a car to pay off my debt. I told all my friends to keep that stuff away from me. I stopped associating with people who were still using. It wasn't easy and I was sick for about 3 months while my system re adjusted but it was the best decision of my life!!
Please try to give it up NOW.... before you get in debt and develop a daily habit, lose your girl or get into SERIOUS trouble.
To quote Stevie Nicks.... "If you are going to keep using you had better save a bunch of money, REHAB COST'S $50,000!!"..... and that was back in the 80's.
PM me if you need to talk privately. Good Luck!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 4
Thank you All
Thank you for everyones comments and advice. Im try my best to quit. I havent reached the daily habit but its been a weekly habit now for 2.5 years. Every weekend, sometimes 2 times a week. Its funny you mention the money, I dont even want to know how much I have spent on that garbage. How many "friends" ive gotten. Yet tonight I know that after two cocktails ill be getting the itch. I was not like this at all, all my life I really never did drugs, sure I tried some here and there but really never developed a habit for anything, not even cigarrettes. Now im in this downward spiral where its like, MORE, MAS, NOW! And all of a sudden its 5:19am and Im at home having anxiety attacks or feel like im gonna die. But im still here and honestly guys this is the first time I have ever taken steps, it started with this one step of joining this forum, and im hoping this is the day I turn things around. I know im going to fall again and the gutter again but at least im becoming aware that I have a big problem and need to end it. I thought to myself today imagine all the wonderful things I could have done with the thousands of dollars Ive spent on the past 2 years. Thank you ALL!
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
I went through 40k in 8 months. The money does matter but thats not as important as what you r doing to your body, mind, GF, family etc. Drugs will always be out there. I stayed away from all people and places for quite some time cause its really hard to say no. its been 7 years since I did coke but when I am out if there is coke I HAVE TO remove myself immediately. I would highly recomend you avoid the dinner party. I suffer from anxiety as well and it sux. y do something to increase that horrible feeling? Think about it...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
if you are willing you can stop
Originally Posted by victorward
I dont want this in my life anymore. I miss my old self. I surround myself with party people now, miss events and miss work all the time.
hi Victor
it's been around 15 years since I did coke
but
I will never forget the grip that it had on me for many years
over and over I would go to the ATM and pull out several hundred dollars
and then as you mention
sure wasn't helping my work attendance
as you know Victor there are so many down sides to doing coke
relationships
money
work
health -- I think it caused my A-FIB
if you are willing to do whatever you have to do you can stop
hope that you will keep coming back here
Mountainmanbob
it's been around 15 years since I did coke
but
I will never forget the grip that it had on me for many years
over and over I would go to the ATM and pull out several hundred dollars
and then as you mention
sure wasn't helping my work attendance
as you know Victor there are so many down sides to doing coke
relationships
money
work
health -- I think it caused my A-FIB
if you are willing to do whatever you have to do you can stop
hope that you will keep coming back here
Mountainmanbob
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