apophylite

Hi all
I have been reading posts on the site for a few weeks now, and still told myself my drinking was ok. I am 40 years old with a husband, a 20 year old, and a 6, and 4 year old. I am the head therapist in spa in a four star hotel. I am actually, and the penny has finally dropped a functioning alcoholic.
I come from a family of big drinkers, one of whom has just been in hospital after an overdose taken at 7pm because she was so drunk.
i have kidded myself up to now i can control it, but i dont think i can. I need to change but i am scared of doing it.

apophylite

any advice?

whipster

You have come to the right place. There are several methods to stop, I use AVRT and many use AA.

Today is day 20 of no booze after drinking daily for 35 years for me, and this site is a large part of my success so far. Look around on the different threads, there is lots of good stuff here and plenty of people to help.

apophylite

i just found my local AA meeting online, how have i got here! I am ashamed, exhausted and cannot live like this anymore. But i still have a voice saying do you need support or can you do this alone and no one would have to know?

Notmyrealname

You are not alone or weak in finding it a bit scary, I think it is frightening for everybody. (it sure has been for me!)

My advice (not meant to be a complete primer, just something that helped me) is to regularly visit this forum to read about other people's experiences with alcohol and to learn more about the recovery process. I think by being educated about recovery you get your "head in the game", which commits you more towards your course of action and makes you better able to handle the inevitable bumps in the road.

Step one is pretty straightforward, at least:

Step one: Don't drink today

and then you have step two:

Step two: Go back to step one.

a gross oversimplification, but that's the heart of the matter

aw58

Hi welcome to the forum. Im new too and this is my third attempt in three years to give up the poison, I managed 8 months and they were truly wonderful months, then stupidly I thought Id cracked it and could be a social drinker, how wrong I was. So Im now on day 5 alcohol free. Firstly well done for admitting you are drinking to much this is a good start, now begin with day AF then start counting how many days. Every day you wake up more refreshed and feel great, my worst day was the third day I wanted a drink so bad I almost talked myself into it, Its an addiction a drug that controls you, if you give in , its won. Join us and count the days, come on the forum tell us how you feel how you are dealing with it, by doing this you are helping your self and many others to over come this nasty poison

heath480

Welcome to SR.

You can just turn up at a meeting and will be warmly welcomed.

If you would prefer to talk to someone first and arrange to go to a meeting with them call your local helpline.

The number for Cardiff is 01792 301 907 the line is manned 24hours by volunteers from AA.

Soberpotamus

Welcome to SR

Change can be scary. But it always begins with awareness... and you seem to be aware of your need for change, so congrats on the first step

There are so many ways you can do this. It really depends on what fits and works for you... to do something different, and make some big changes in your life. There is AA, Women For Sobriety, SMART, Rational Recovery & AVRT, among others... I've tried a little of it all! Also, there are tons of recovery books that you can read. You could also go the route of individual counseling. Some people like to start a vitamin regimen, exercise, meditation or yoga...

For me, it was reaching out for help and getting around others, and out of my isolation that helped me in the end make the big internal switch to WANT sobriety more than the drink. I believe you have to truly want sobriety and actively pursue recovery for it to work.

Good luck!

JustSarah

Hi Apophylite, I'm in day 21 and have had many failed attempts at this - I must admit I have gone with "easy way" (ALan Carr) and have never felt better. There are alot of different methods, you just need to find one that suits you. Don't feel ashamed / sad - we've all been there and all face the struggle - I tried to cut back but have found that this time round the only way to d o this is to quit all together which is a scary prospect in itself.

Anyways - I wish you all the best with this xxxxxxx

Isaiah

Hello!

Feeling shame was a huge part of it for me. Who am I kidding? It still is. I think it's one of the toughest things to deal with, worse at times than the physical cravings.

I can understand feeling apprehensive about going to AA. I'm actually going to my first one after a very long hiatus tonight, I hope, and I'm a little nervous even though I've been to hundreds of meetings in my lifetime. Just remember that no one in history has ever gone to their first meeting while on a winning streak at life. People there wont judge you; they've already walked a mile in your shoes.

Best of luck!

bigsombrero

My only advice would be to read and comment and learn from some posts. Advice here can be given, but usually it helps to know a little bit more about you - for example: what is your plan to quit drinking? What methods are you using? Do you know anything about the options? Etc, etc.

Registering was an awesome first step - CONGRATS, big time, on that one. Welcome!

sober4myboys

Welcome!

My family is also big drinker, my brother was in a near fatal motorcycle accident last week due to the problem. So, I know how you feel.

Best of luck and I agree with the above statement about 2 steps :0). Try for today and go from there.

My mantra was and is... " I will never drink again and I will never change my mind"... AVRT is good too. I have said before, no one thing may work, you may have to put your own spin on it.

mecanix

The journey into sobriety can be scarry but it is also a worthwhile thing to do ,

Nice to have you along ,

Bestwishes, m

2granddaughters

I know how you feel.

I did everything I could to avoid doing what I knew I had to do ... but finally I had to do it.

I had arrived at the end of the road and luckily I found (as millions of others have) the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. It has worked well for me for over 23 yrs.

All the best.

Bob R

Dee74

Hi apophylite

you're just a normal everyday person like the rest of us. You have a problem...but you're working on it.

You're not alone here - lots of support and understanding

welcome
D

apophylite

thank you so much for all your replies, today is day two, and so far so good. I actually had a decent nights sleep last night for the first time in ages, and the AA meeting really helped, so going back next week. I have drunk two bottles a wine at least six days a week for a couple of years now, but last night herbal tea I have told my husband, my mum and my best friend and they are all really proud of me for admitting it was a problem. I feel relieved its out in the open and am going to face the journey ahead with a positive attitude
Looking forward to reporting my first sober week to you all!!

tgirl

I have spent the last 40 years in the same pattern of drinking to the max for a few months then sober for a few months, wash, rinse repeat. This time I'm hoping it will be different and I can stay on the wagon. The one thing that did scare me this time was that my Doc picked up on my blood tests that something was amiss and she started asking questions, that's when I let it all hang out and asked for help. Before no one has noticed so it was easy to fall back into the old routine. We are all in the same boat, we just need to get it to safe landing point. Keep at it.....

apophylite

Thanks tgirl, I too have for the most part been able to hide it. Feels good to get it out there.

pinkgate

I'm glad you're here apophylite, lots of support. I also read a lot here on SR before I took any action. At first I wasn't sure that I was "that bad", then I think I wanted to be prepped for what I would go through and how to deal with it so that I'd have a better chance of success. Instead of just winging it blindly. It really helped.

EndStage

Welcome to the SR Family!
SR, for me, has been a great support and on many occasions while thinking about drinking - I've come to this site.
It has helped me in so many ways that others do not realize.
I did the same thing for awhile; Denial. I read others posts and caught myself asking, "why am I coming to this site ... I do not have an issue yet, these stories are mine. How could this be?
Now, I am 3 months 14 days sober. In recovery. Support groups. now going to AA and still an active member on this site.
Though we do not know each other personally, we still are a supporting family and you are apart of our family.