Nowheretoturn1

We have all sat with her and told her how much we love her, how different a person she is without alcohol, how much nicer, more approachable and more truthful. We have told her that we don't want to walk behind her in her coffin that she has a good life that many people would do anything for. We have told her that when she is on a binge we worry the whole time that this might be the last time, that when she roams the streets half naked at times to get alcohol that we worry she will be raped, murdered, knocked down and killed and that it is devastating to watch. We worry that some night when she is on the prowl for alcohol that she will knock the wrong door and something terrible will happen. I tell her how much we would miss her, how her niece and nephew would miss her and so e times she cries when we say this but then the craving takes over again and none of this is important to her. Over these 10 years every relationship she has had has ended as a result of her drinking, she has driven drunk, forgotten where she left the car, lost her driving licence when we reported her to the police, lay outside and drank wine out of a dirty watering can, hid drink everywhere, missed dear knows how long of work can't believe she still has a job, ruined her partners holidays by bingeing, wrecked a relatives house, she was dog sitting for them and went on a binge, lets just say the dogs didn't get let out to do their business for days, mum and I tidied up that mess, got out of her mind drunk will babysitting my baby daughter while I went to work, she didn't feed er or change her nappy. I could go on and on but you get the picture and still she doesn't believe she is an alcoholic. Time to sep back and when she has to start dealing with the consequences herself then maybe something will click, if not then I guess it's just a matter of time until her body gives in :-(

Nowheretoturn1

So I have wasted this week talking to her partner, my mum and my dad on dear knows how many phone calls all about my alcoholic sister. My kids first week off the school holidays and I have spent it on the phone or moping about just waiting on the next phone call for the next piece of news about her. She got out of hospital yesterday and she has yet to contact me, yes she is doped to the eyeballs on whatever medicine they give alcoholics but even a thank you for being there again text I will ring you when I am better would have done. I guess maybe I am finally waking up to the fact that she is using us all and laughing at us all, all we do is enable her to keep this life threatening habit active. No more, tomorrow is a new day and I am going to get up, do my housework and spend the day somewhere nice with my two wonderful kids and forget about my sister cos she clearly isn't thinking about me! Have a good weekend everyone and thanks for all the replies this week it means a lot x

GratitudeDude

I suspect she is just like me before I experienced a moment of grace. She's not bad. She's stuck in a Hell that I know: where you can't stop what you're doing because you don't know what else to do.

"We did then what we knew how to do; when we knew better, we did better." Maya Angelo

I'm not better or worse than your sister. I'm not a bad person trying to become good, I'm a sick person trying to become well.

As Alanon teaches, maybe now's a time to detach with love. And wait for a moment of grace. Who knows.

Mike L.

Welsh

I don't know if I'm qualified to respond cuz I just checked in here myself i can only comment in my perspective and hope it helps u out some. I think your doing a great job and she's very lucky to have a person like u in her life. I can only speak from my personal experience I always struggled to figure out when it started and why but with time that gets blurry. Usually in my case having tremendous responsibilities and uncertain how to handle them makes you a very stressful person so basically not finding a substitute for the substance wether alcohol pills or harsh narcotics u fear becoming normal!
The fear of adapting into normal life like going on holiday without the substance, will it be even a holiday?! Will weekends be the same?!
Basically the fear of becoming a normal person.
And yes it is psychological ... I've always liked the feeling since the first sip of beer, first joint..
Sorry about the rant like I said I just checked in here myself. Stay strong for ur sister and I hope she sobers up for her sake and u guys

Nowheretoturn1

Thanks welsh, I can totally understand what you are saying about weekends and holidays etc, I think I myself would feel I was missing something if I couldn't relax with a nice glass of wine on holidays or at the weekend. But that's the difference I like to actually enjoy a nice glass of wine, not the hit it gives me, I enjoy the social aspect of it, whereas my sister is totally unsociable with it and would drink anything just for the hit and just wants to be left alone in her own drunk bubble. I will stay strong and hope and pray she sees the light as such.