FreeFall

My friend may be forced to quit due to medical issues. I think it would be a really positive thing for her. If you could sum up best advice you've received, or could share what motivated you if you were forced to stop rather than choosing to that would be great. I'd like to print it out for her...

Lovemyself2012

Well, I can't offer advice about being forced to stop vs. choosing to stop. However, I do know that I am choosing (forcing myself) to stop because I know that it is only a very short matter of time before my health is affected to the point that one more drink would be the final nail in the coffin.

I'm trying to remember what a precious gift my body is; how each breath isn't guaranteed and that I need to do everything in my power to nourish myself so that I can live a life of fulfillment instead of merely existing in sadness, despair, and disease of the mind and body.

I wish your friend strength...

least

I hope your friend decides to get sober. It's so rewarding.

IWillWin

Hi Freefall - so sorry to hear about your friend. Sending best wishes for a speedy recovery...and prayers that she will find sobriety before it is too late.

Our bodies are not made of steel - eventually, it will rebel if mistreated for too long. Sound like your friend has reached that point.

Perhaps printing out what an alcoholic death is - liver failure comes to mind - and share with her the horrible symptoms that come along with alcohol induced illness.

I fear my friend is headed for the same kind of wake up call. Unfortunately, I believe that is what it will take for her to realize that alcohol (even if you just binge 3 times a week) can actually kill you. I just hope for your friend, and for mine, that the light bulb goes off before it is too late

DisplacedGRITS

hi Freefall and Freefall's friend! i'll tell you what's worked for me. i'm a member of AA and i've found that group to be a great comfort and help. when i got sober, i was desperate. i'd tried rehab twice and relapsed both times. it wasn't for lack of willpower. i have tons of willpower! heck, to drink the way i drank took immense willpower. what i was lacking in was my spiritual life. i was pretty dead inside. just a shell of a person, drinking to exist and existing to drink. when i came through the doors of AA, i found a solution. my solution was the fellowship of so many sober alcoholics. i went to meetings and read the Big Book a little. after a while, i sort of got a sponsor but we didn't meet often but hey, i got a sponsor, right? well, basically i tried to get sober through osmosis and it worked for about 10 months. around that time, i'd quit going to meetings (i moved a couple of months earlier and never got a new group). i was relying on just being sober to carry me though. that didn't work so i drank and stayed drunk for about 3 months.

eventually, life was so out of control again that i walked back through the doors of AA. this time, i got a sponsor who actually works with me and i'm finally working the steps. instead of arriving one minute before the meeting and leaving 1 minute after, i get there early and stay late. sometimes, i even go out with people from the meeting for more fellowship. i'm no longer existing on the fringes of AA!

what all that has taught me is that self knowledge isn't going to save me. i've got plenty of self knowledge from rehab and while it's a good thing to have, it's not the solution. my solution comes from surrendering my will to my Higher Power. i can't manage every aspect of my life like i want to. i have a tendency to try to hammer square pegs into round holes and when things don't go my way, i become restless, irritable and discontent. but if i turn my will over to my HP and trust that it will take care of me, i am a lot happier. i don't have to be the lead actor, director, lighting person, sound person, etc of the stage production of my life. i just need to do my best at being the lead actor and let my HP take care of all the details.

be willing to do anything it takes to get and stay sober. it's hard in the beginning but it gets better with time. become rigorously honest with yourself. have a plan that works to get sober. don't try to stumble blindly into sobriety. stay connected to other sober alcoholics. learn to ask for help and be willing to accept help. no one expects you to do this alone. remember, you are a special child of God and you deserve to live the life of an alcoholic in recovery. it's about a lot more than just not drinking. it's a total lifestyle change. welcome to sobriety. keep in touch!