Feel like I'm living a lie
 

I have been clean from heroin for 5 years this August, but I've been carrying a secret that has been weighing on me so heavily. I've been abusing Adderall, which I've been prescribed for the last 3-4 years. Everyone thinks I have it all together, but I feel like I'm just a big liar. I'm starting to crack, and I can't maintain the facade much longer. I'm not sure where to go from here, which sounds silly to me because I've gone through this process once before. However, here I am again...scared and lost.

I am sorry that you are going through what you are going through. I am not sure what words of encouragement to give you except, "I understand" because I actually do.

I know that my first step needs to be admitting that I have a problem. I have admitted it to myself, but I'm terrified to admit it to my husband & family. The idea of taking time off from work & school is too much to think about. Before, my addiction totally ruled my life...but now I'm in school & have a job. How do I maintain my life, but still do what I know needs done?

Hello twentysomething and welcome to SR. It's good to have you with us.

I can understand you feeling scared about this. Facing any addiction is hard, even if you've done it before.

You probably need to speak to your doctor about this and get some medical advice. I have no experience of drugs to help, though I'm sure others will be along shortly to share their experiences.

Congratulations on the 5 years heroin free by the way, that is fantastic!! X