Day 9 - Tears are like God's way of cleansing yourself
Day 9 - Tears are like God's way of cleansing yourself
As far as cravings go yesterday was just awful.. It started out at like 4 AM when I woke up and couldn't fall back asleep so I went into the fridge to get something to eat and I saw a freshly opened 30-case of my Dad's beer just sitting there and I freaked out and contemplating on drinking for a few minutes.. I went back to bed and didn't fall back asleep because all I wanted to do was get drunk.
So then later on in the day I just wanted to use SO badly.. I spent the day pacing back and forth through my Dad's apartment feeling like I was gonna crawl out of my skin.. I didn't have a phone to call anyone and I felt trapped inside my head with my stupid thoughts. So I went to a meeting at 7:30 PM and the entire time I was contemplating on walking out and going to the CVS pharmacy next door and getting a little somethin' to make me "feel better". Thank God I didn't.
I got home at around 9:45, feeling completely beaten by the disease, I went right into my bedroom and started crying like a baby for a good 15 minutes.. Man did that feel cleansing. I immediately felt 100% better, the craving was gone! I called my sponsor from my Dad's phone, ate some food, then called it a night, and today I have 9 days clean
So then later on in the day I just wanted to use SO badly.. I spent the day pacing back and forth through my Dad's apartment feeling like I was gonna crawl out of my skin.. I didn't have a phone to call anyone and I felt trapped inside my head with my stupid thoughts. So I went to a meeting at 7:30 PM and the entire time I was contemplating on walking out and going to the CVS pharmacy next door and getting a little somethin' to make me "feel better". Thank God I didn't.
I got home at around 9:45, feeling completely beaten by the disease, I went right into my bedroom and started crying like a baby for a good 15 minutes.. Man did that feel cleansing. I immediately felt 100% better, the craving was gone! I called my sponsor from my Dad's phone, ate some food, then called it a night, and today I have 9 days clean
That's awesome news. Good job on going to the meeting and calling your sponsor. It always amazes me how I can go from feeling great when I'm sober, never to want to drink again, to suddenly wanting a drink. It happens sometimes faster than I can blink. Congrats on day 9!
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