notfixable

Can recovery work if It is not wanted. Im sure that not every alcoholic or addict walks into there first meeting wanting sobriety. but how many actually go back for a second or third.

ScottFromWI

In my opinion, no. If you don't want recovery no person or plan can make you recover.

FreeFall

I agree, it has to come from within to stick. You have to want it to even figure out what plan might work for you. If you don't really want to stop you'll find a way for every method to fail.

Not to say that a very bad experience couldn't be a wake up call-that's what motivates a lot of people to stop.

For me, I was too afraid of what "rock bottom" might bring to let myself get all the way there. I also am responsible for an elder parent and didn't want to screw that up. Did I "want" to stop? Not really. Did I "need" to stop? Absolutely.

Dee74

I got to a point where I didn't exactly want to be sober but I knew I had to be or I'd die..
I came pretty close to death.

I dunno how you convince yourself before you get to that point, but I'm rooting for you notfixable.

D
D

Mountainmanbob

least

I didn't quit drinking til I wanted it badly. I wish I'd wanted it sooner.

sugarbear1

took me 25 years to fully embrace the fact that I had no other choice than to stay stopped.....

GracieLou

Wanting sobriety and wanting to stop drinking, to me, are two separate animals.

I don't think many walk into AA or another other program looking for sobriety. They want to stop drinking.

What they find there, if they are willing, is the path to sobriety.

MIRecovery

For me I did not want to recover but I did not want to die either. They told me to take it a day at a time and I did. At about the 2 year mark I decided that maybe I could not drink for the rest of my life. but even today I still take it a day at a time because never drinking again is still way too scary.

Mark75

I did not want it. Others did for me, LOL, but, hell no. The need came first. The wanting later. My experience was that not wanting it meant that I needed to find a way to be happy. I understood that AA had done that for my father and brother and many many others... And it did for me.

AA is not the only way of course, but I do believe that finding a purpose in recovery is important.

Not too many people that I have met wanted it, so much.

tomsteve

I had to have a lil more that want it. I had to be willing to do whatever was necessary to get sober.

I sometimes wonder:if all the people that needed to stop drinking in this small town showed up at a meeting, would there be enough room?

LadyBlue0527

Being that this is my 4th time seriously trying there's one thing I've learned. Not only do I need to want it, I need to want it for ME and for no one else. That's the difference this time. My sobriety belongs to ME. That thought is uplifting for me and helps to squelch the need to drink because I felt like I stopped only because other people wanted me to. I needed to stop the denial and be honest with myself. Only then was I ready. I am only 33 days sober at this point and believe me, I still play games with myself that I really didn't have a problem. If I force myself to look at some of the things that I had done there's no denying it. In fact, I make sure to remind myself of those things to the point that I have to laugh and verbalize to myself "Look at you trying to reason yourself back into believing that you can have a few beers". It really is laughable.

If you are on this forum and this question is regarding you think of it this way. Obviously, in some manner, drinking is an issue for you. If it wasn't then you would have never come here nor considered quitting. Think about why you're here. Only you can answer the question as to whether you really want sobriety. When you think about this, be honest, lying to yourself will do no good.

I wish you all the luck and coming here was a good thing!

Lovemyself2012

Thank you for this. Never drinking again is so scary to me and has sabatoged me before. I've started to really embrace just worrying about the now and it's helping.

GreenEggsAndHam

I believe it can start as a need but needs to transition to a want or it won't last.

Threshold

When I got into recovery I didn't want it, but I WANTED to want it!

I needed convincing that it was better than where I was. I wanted to believe that. NEEDED to believe that.

Hanging out here and in 12 step meetings helped me grow into actually wanting it for myself. Wanting not only to not drink/use, but want to recover and have a better life where I was comfortable in my own skin.

It was a process.

Until I got to the point where I wanted the recovery that others had, and I didn't want to feel the way I felt drinking and drugging, my efforts didn't stick. But hanging out with folk in recovery helped me get to want it for myself.

trident

This is my first post and I feel the same way - I need to get sober but I don't exactly "want" to stop drinking. I wish I could drink normally, but it's time to admit that I can't, that the drinking is ruining my life and my health, and that there isn't much choice but to stop, and stop now.

Happier

There are different opinions from people and from programs on this topic. Please do not let the thought that you still want to drink keep you from seeking help and striving for a healthier life. After all, feelings can change. I would not get hung up on what your motivation is in the beginning. The only thing that I am pretty sure of is that things do not change and do not get better unless you do something about it.

Ptcapote

Wow, LadyBlue, what an awesome and dead-on post. Thanks for writing that down, it makes so much sense. You have got to want it for yourself---I also spent a ton of time wanting it for me because other people did. Does not work.

I was like Threshold. I wanted to want it. But I didn't believe it could happen nor did I think, for a long time, that I was that bad that I really needed it (despite all evidence to the contrary). That's called denial and a whole lot of wishful thinking.

I had hoped, going into AA the first time, that somehow I would absorb the wanting it for myself from others in the rooms. And, miracles of miracles, I did. Not initially and, yes, I did have to end up wanting it for myself but what the folks in AA and on SR did was show me that you could actually be happy and fulfilled without alcohol in your life. THAT made me want it because, for the first time, I saw that it just might be true.

Now that I have it, I want to keep it with all my life. That's a lot of want

Nighthawk8820

Not in my experience. For you to get and stay sober, it has to be something you WANT super bad. Of course, the addiction could be making you think you dont want to be sober, so that is always something to consider.

Mizzuno

In some cases it may not be about want to. There are plenty of things that I don't want to do in my life, but I have to do them in order to be safe and well in the world. Some days I do not want to go to work, but if I don't I will be out money and I have bills and responsibilities to take care of. Some days I whine at the fact that I am not a normal drinker, but I am an Alcoholic and I am not allowed to drink. A diabetic eating sugar is a really bad thing, and eating sugar can result in death. The same goes for us Alcoholics, we can cause serious damage under the influence. So, when it comes to want and all of that, I think of the fact that I have to remain sober. My life depends on it.