NevarCiots

Hi everyone. So I was clean for about a whole week, felt great....then yesterday happened.

I drank from 11 am to 9pm, downed about a 12 pack and a 4 pack of tall boys and came to work feeling awful. During my lunch break I smoked a few cigs and was returning to work when I just felt a tense nervousness in my stomach and feeling really scared.

When I went back to work and, now I have never done this before, drank a few squirts of hand sanitizer hoping it would calm me. I don't work around any coworkers until 9:30 its 5:25 now

I just need some support to make it through the rest of the day I hate that I killed my sober time this way and now guilty of drinking on the job.

I really hate this.

Crossfitdad

What triggered this?

least

What are you going to do to make sure you don't relapse again? Whatever you're doing isn't working so maybe best to make some changes in your recovery plan.


Get back up and start over. You can do this.


PS, don't drink hand sanitizer. That has other stuff in it besides alcohol ya know.

NevarCiots

Just a simple matter of getting some friends together, drinking and playing cards. And when we were out of beers we went and grabbed more at the store.

I hate that I equate game day with friends with drinking.

NevarCiots

Yeh the bottle said 65% ethanol alcohol. I better just stick it out and suffer. Thank you for your kindness

Crossfitdad

Sorry, I'm confused (and it probably doesn't matter), but were you drinking last night and are working today or did you drink during the day prior to work?

Dee74

I think if you want change Nevar, you need to make changes - y'know?

drinking hand santizer is downright dangerous - it's not normal behaviour or a rational decision to make.

if that doesn't convince you to do something more for your recovery, I'm not sure what will?

D

NevarCiots

That's right. Had the day off yesterday and work today.

NevarCiots

I know Dee I know

I always post a thread ONLY after a baaaaad bout like this. I think i'm the wisest poster on here when sending msgs to others with some clean time (LOL) then I do something like this. I still have a lot to learn if I want to be clean and happy.

Bruce292

Each time I stumbled I learned something. I stumbled so much you would think I was a genius. Far from it. That being said, after my last stumble in March I think I learned enough to finally get it right ... I hope. Please don't consider your actions stupid. Instead, perhaps, consider them the actions of a human working their way toward sobriety.

Nuudawn

I think I would hate the fact I drank hand sanitizer more than killing sober time. It's not about the past or the future..it's about right now. Get sober now..stay sober now. Stay sober on game day. stay sober in every situation you face...that approach has worked for me and strengthened me moment by moment.

BeFree4good

I don't even know my clean date and don't give a you know what. I would really be concerned about the hand sanitizer though.That can't be good. IT's just another day. Don't dwell on it and move on and try not to have another one. Your still here and that's what matters.

Nighthawk8820

Sounds like your sobriety plan isnt working out at all. You may need to seek outside help or counsel? Drinking hand sanitzer is a pretty big indication you are in WAY over your head. Dont panic, you can get help and beat this thing, but I think you may need some outside guidance and support. I wish you the best.

Carlotta

Anyway you could just go home early and say you are sick? With what you drank (not including the hand sanitizer), you might not be able to hide it and you might get in serious trouble with your boss.

quitforme79

Heard a story recently where a friend of a friend drank hand sanitizer in the hospital & died so please don't do that again. Have you tried AA? Or seeing a dr? You're not alone & don't have to go through this without support!