Sad, Alone
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by Leshar 
It's like the world is in 3 dimensions, but I'm looking at it from outside, seeing things/ppl only in 2 dimensions.
All the best.
Bob R (near Windsor, On)
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, Leshar.
Sorry to hear you feel sad and lonely.
First, you are still early in sobriety. At a month mark my mood was all over the place, and I was almost living in my "trademark" blue mood.
It took some time to change. It does take time for you mind and body to recover. Don't push it. Sadness is emotion too. In our age when everyone is supposed to be successful and upbeat to feel down is considered almost a crime against humanity. Which is not true, by the way.
Don't beat yourself up. Feel and accept your sadness. It may sound weird - accept sadness, but it works. You have every right to feel the way you feel.
Then, about loneliness. I spend a lot of time alone, so, I think I can give you some advice here.
Try to stop thinking "oh, I am alone. It is so sad, etc". While we are seeking for solutions outside ourselves, there always be danger that we will surrender to circumstances.
Again, somewhere along the line we got idea that to be alone is pathetic, and there is a bunch of other epithets and dogmas about that. Break the mould. Ditch the dogmas. Use this precious time to look inside yourself - you'll be surprised what a great person is covered with all the mental clutter. Learn what you've always wanted to learn - there are free classes and webinars of all sorts online. What about exercising? It works magic when it comes to improving mood. You take my word about that.
So, get back in the saddle.
Don't run away from sadness and loneliness. Take some time to realized what makes your really sad? And again - at early stage of sobriety your brain is still recovering all the harm.
Take it easy on yourself. Make a little step every day.
Don't seek to be "not alone" just for the sake "not to be alone". If you learn to be your best friends, you'll never be alone.
Be easy on yourself. Everything will be fine)
Best wishes to you. And take care.
Sorry to hear you feel sad and lonely.
First, you are still early in sobriety. At a month mark my mood was all over the place, and I was almost living in my "trademark" blue mood.
It took some time to change. It does take time for you mind and body to recover. Don't push it. Sadness is emotion too. In our age when everyone is supposed to be successful and upbeat to feel down is considered almost a crime against humanity. Which is not true, by the way.
Don't beat yourself up. Feel and accept your sadness. It may sound weird - accept sadness, but it works. You have every right to feel the way you feel.
Then, about loneliness. I spend a lot of time alone, so, I think I can give you some advice here.
Try to stop thinking "oh, I am alone. It is so sad, etc". While we are seeking for solutions outside ourselves, there always be danger that we will surrender to circumstances.
Again, somewhere along the line we got idea that to be alone is pathetic, and there is a bunch of other epithets and dogmas about that. Break the mould. Ditch the dogmas. Use this precious time to look inside yourself - you'll be surprised what a great person is covered with all the mental clutter. Learn what you've always wanted to learn - there are free classes and webinars of all sorts online. What about exercising? It works magic when it comes to improving mood. You take my word about that.
So, get back in the saddle.
Don't run away from sadness and loneliness. Take some time to realized what makes your really sad? And again - at early stage of sobriety your brain is still recovering all the harm.
Take it easy on yourself. Make a little step every day.
Don't seek to be "not alone" just for the sake "not to be alone". If you learn to be your best friends, you'll never be alone.
Be easy on yourself. Everything will be fine)
Best wishes to you. And take care.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,996
Thank you, Midnight, for your response and excellent advice.
I've been sad really, all my life, sexually abused in childhood. Diagnosed with clinical depression at 19, and have been treated for this ever since.
I think one of the reasons I resort to drinking every night, is that I have a rich dream life and often dream of my husband. Of course, waking up to the status quo is only compounding my problems.
I think that in my heart of hearts, I didn't want to face the idea of not drinking again.
Today, I know that is my path, or I'm done for.
I've only just roused myself from my bed at almost noon, after drinking again last night, and I feel terrible. I dreamt about my hb, things we'd do in the summer, fun times. It's a long w/end here, and ppl are off doing things, camping, cottaging, and I do feel alone. My two girl-friends are away.
I think this is the worst I've ever felt, but I know I just have to face facts and do something productive about it.
I don't want to continue to live like this, and I admire and respect those here who have faced terrible demons, and hold strong, like yourself.
I plan to attend a meeting next week, it's not on this Monday, because of the holiday here. It's WFS.
I need to develop stronger means to not give up when I have some time away from alcohol. I had been feeling somewhat optimistic then.
I don't want to become a pathetic, useless person that others grow tiresome of, I'm tired of this me, there's got to be a better me somewhere.
I've been sad really, all my life, sexually abused in childhood. Diagnosed with clinical depression at 19, and have been treated for this ever since.
I think one of the reasons I resort to drinking every night, is that I have a rich dream life and often dream of my husband. Of course, waking up to the status quo is only compounding my problems.
I think that in my heart of hearts, I didn't want to face the idea of not drinking again.
Today, I know that is my path, or I'm done for.
I've only just roused myself from my bed at almost noon, after drinking again last night, and I feel terrible. I dreamt about my hb, things we'd do in the summer, fun times. It's a long w/end here, and ppl are off doing things, camping, cottaging, and I do feel alone. My two girl-friends are away.
I think this is the worst I've ever felt, but I know I just have to face facts and do something productive about it.
I don't want to continue to live like this, and I admire and respect those here who have faced terrible demons, and hold strong, like yourself.
I plan to attend a meeting next week, it's not on this Monday, because of the holiday here. It's WFS.
I need to develop stronger means to not give up when I have some time away from alcohol. I had been feeling somewhat optimistic then.
I don't want to become a pathetic, useless person that others grow tiresome of, I'm tired of this me, there's got to be a better me somewhere.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
We're here for you. That's what this website is all about. And if you want to send anyone personal or private messages you can do that too. You're not alone. We're here. And wouldn't it be better to get rid of the booze in the house?
W.
W.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,996
Thank you wpainterw,
You are kind.
There is no alcohol in the house. I always get cravings around the same time each evening, and I go to the liquor store, buy a bottle of wine and drink it all over the evening. Go to bed not wanting to wake up.
But I'm alive, I can get my health back, only I can put in that effort.
You are kind.
There is no alcohol in the house. I always get cravings around the same time each evening, and I go to the liquor store, buy a bottle of wine and drink it all over the evening. Go to bed not wanting to wake up.
But I'm alive, I can get my health back, only I can put in that effort.
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