jakec

I took only half a trazadone last night(50mg) because the 100mg would make me feel groggy as HELL in the morning, but I feel a lot better with the 50mg, a good night’s sleep and I’m not overly tired now at 9:23 AM

Took my supplements(Theanine, Tyrosine, Glutamine, Taurine, Fish Oil, B-complex, GABA, and Valerian Root) and drank my cup of delicious coffee so I feel nice and energized and calm. It’s no Adderall, but it helps, plus I can actually eat food on these pills haha.

Pretty much had a panic attack at 7/11 last night when I noticed they started selling Mucinex DM(DXM - one of my drugs of choice).. I litteraly started shaking and breaking out into a sweat so I immediately got the hell out of that store.. The old me would have pocketed a box or two and left without any remorse so I’m proud of myself.

I also made the decision to stop having sex for awhile, because I realized at a meeting last night that addictive behavior like will lead me back to my original addiction(drugs). And even if it doesn’t, it still makes me feel like a disgusting peice of **** at the end of the day so that’s a good enough reason to stop. I guess I've been using sex as crutch with a mind-set like "well if I have enough sex to make me feel good I won't even have to use drugs anymore" ..LOL. A recovering Addict told me recently "You can't F**k yourself clean!" How true that is! They told me stick to the 3 M's of recovery; Meetings, Mediation, and Mas-... well I don't want to get too inappropriate so I'll let you guys figure the last one out lol.

mecanix

Anytime i feel im using something external to me , drugs , sex , food to change how i feel emotionally i think it leads to problems .

Keep steady , M

PaperDolls

Congrats on day 7 Jake!