keeping it simple
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Fabulous post Fallow and well done on your 200 days. Such a wonderful achievement 
The simple idea that kept me going was 'no matter how bad it gets, just don't drink'. The bad stuff always passes so there is no sense in making it worse.
Glad you're doing so well x
The simple idea that kept me going was 'no matter how bad it gets, just don't drink'. The bad stuff always passes so there is no sense in making it worse.
Glad you're doing so well x
Clear Eyes Full Heart
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,272
Nice work Fallow! When you're in triple digits it starts to really feel like progress doesn't it?
Interesting comment about day one not very different from day 201. To me there's a big difference. There was a lot more hope and confidence on day 201 than on day 1. More conviction this can be done. Feeling physically much better. More things accomplished, less put off. I can see though why you would say that. You have to have the same mindset day after day to get to 201!
Interesting comment about day one not very different from day 201. To me there's a big difference. There was a lot more hope and confidence on day 201 than on day 1. More conviction this can be done. Feeling physically much better. More things accomplished, less put off. I can see though why you would say that. You have to have the same mindset day after day to get to 201!
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,954
Originally Posted by Fallow
I have recently been thinking about the very basic ideas that have kept me going thus far. Sure there's lots of complicated ideas to analyze out there. I just got to a place where simply staying sober was my only goal. The how did not matter.
for your post Fallow and congrats with your ongoing sobriety.I can relate to the AVRT where dissociating from alcohol is goal. For me its releasing my attachment to alcohol, much the same as AVRT. Either way "letting go" of old thoughts and behaviors is much less a task than I thought and yes with less over thinking too.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Meditation
Posts: 1,300
Keep on going yes it's so true. I have been at a crossroads for awhile now where I am not 100 percent changed but pretty close. I know that it would be much quicker to fall back into my old self than to keep slowly going down this path. I guess that is me realizing the leg work of changing who I am internally.
I listened to a speaker who talked about how when you look at a Swan they so gracefully glide across the water and it looks effortless. But under the surface they are paddling like crazy! That is how I view those who have what I want. Finally realizing that it is not as effortless as it looks from the outside. The difficulties vary but most of mine are with the patience and persistence. And over-complicating.
Freefall you are correct I probably don't give the differences as much credit as is true between day 1 and 201. I was half joking about it. I'm so happy my rear end is not on fire today trying to figure out how and what to do about my drinking and drug problem. Like Tomsteve said just keep doing what works and change what doesn't work.
I listened to a speaker who talked about how when you look at a Swan they so gracefully glide across the water and it looks effortless. But under the surface they are paddling like crazy! That is how I view those who have what I want. Finally realizing that it is not as effortless as it looks from the outside. The difficulties vary but most of mine are with the patience and persistence. And over-complicating.
Freefall you are correct I probably don't give the differences as much credit as is true between day 1 and 201. I was half joking about it. I'm so happy my rear end is not on fire today trying to figure out how and what to do about my drinking and drug problem. Like Tomsteve said just keep doing what works and change what doesn't work.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
Originally Posted by Fallow 
I listened to a speaker who talked about how when you look at a Swan they so gracefully glide across the water and it looks effortless. But under the surface they are paddling like crazy! That is how I view those who have what I want. Finally realizing that it is not as effortless as it looks from the outside. The difficulties vary but most of mine are with the patience and persistence. And over-complicating.
I don't know if you saw this when you lived in the UK, but our canal freezes over in the winter. So its totally solid ice. The swans and ducks look hilarious when they run on the ice trying to find food. Their legs look really wobbly and they slip and spin on the ice. And I love how the ducks have bright orange feet. They look like they are made from play dough!
Sorry if I sound really random!
My best to you
xx
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Meditation
Posts: 1,300
Day 206. Feel pretty good.
The past few days I was on thin ice. My AV went on for days about this upcoming trip I am going on and drinking on the plane, by the pool, wherever. Thinking I could drink while on vacation and start back into recovery the next week.
Playing tricks on me. Staying in today was tough but AV is now silent.
I'm finding I have a tendency to not post as much when I am struggling.
The past few days I was on thin ice. My AV went on for days about this upcoming trip I am going on and drinking on the plane, by the pool, wherever. Thinking I could drink while on vacation and start back into recovery the next week.
Playing tricks on me. Staying in today was tough but AV is now silent.
I'm finding I have a tendency to not post as much when I am struggling.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Soberlicious mentioned the "what if" game the other day .
I did that in the first week this time round , the answer was always " no not even then ".
The AV and i come stare at eachother occasionaly like unfriendly cats , the "no not even then" trump card comes out and the game is over .
For me i have to make an effort to feel the interconnectedness of life and involved myself, as then the AV is a shadow of a phantom and sobriety a pleasure .
Occasionaly i do get some stinking thinking come round and it's a grind, but seeing as i've got the top trump i just remind myself to work at life or my perception and thinking about it and things change .
Bestwishes, m
I did that in the first week this time round , the answer was always " no not even then ".
The AV and i come stare at eachother occasionaly like unfriendly cats , the "no not even then" trump card comes out and the game is over .
For me i have to make an effort to feel the interconnectedness of life and involved myself, as then the AV is a shadow of a phantom and sobriety a pleasure .
Occasionaly i do get some stinking thinking come round and it's a grind, but seeing as i've got the top trump i just remind myself to work at life or my perception and thinking about it and things change .
Bestwishes, m
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Meditation
Posts: 1,300
I have had plenty of stinkin thinkin lately. Especially this last week. My job is high high stress. I have all my other responsibilities as a husband, and father, and I have a business I am responsible for on the side. And a big house and yard to take care of.
I started playing the games in my head. Thinking about all that having a couple cocktails would do for me. The relaxation and release from care. The taste. The feeling a part of life again. The energy to stay up late. Ease and comfort.
And why not? I work hard. Just as hard as anyone else I suppose. I have all the struggles and expenses. Plus the struggle to stay sober. If they can do it why can't I? I can't outsmart alcohol?
I'd be lying if I said I didn't have many great drinking experiences. Alcohol was obviously something I enjoyed having in my life for years. Why should I deprive myself entirely of something I enjoy? I have quit for this long doesn't that prove that I can quit?
I don't enjoy the consequences. I need to know without question that I can stay sober for good and all. Its not worth the risk!
I told my wife last night how I felt. Now I see how normal people feel when they say a beer sounds nice but they just forget to go buy any... She agreed. I told her I now feel like this staying sober is pretty simple. Definitely not easy though.
I think if I was gonna drink yesterday would have been the day. After a high stress week an unexpected $3000.00 expense popped up. I was on the edge not gonna lie.
Just said to myself that these feelings will pass. Drinking will not solve anything. Just see how you feel tomorrow. Go read some SR. Before you drink get to a meeting. You can make it through tonight.
Sure enough. The feelings passed. I do not regret not drinking.
Happy Saturday
I started playing the games in my head. Thinking about all that having a couple cocktails would do for me. The relaxation and release from care. The taste. The feeling a part of life again. The energy to stay up late. Ease and comfort.
And why not? I work hard. Just as hard as anyone else I suppose. I have all the struggles and expenses. Plus the struggle to stay sober. If they can do it why can't I? I can't outsmart alcohol?
I'd be lying if I said I didn't have many great drinking experiences. Alcohol was obviously something I enjoyed having in my life for years. Why should I deprive myself entirely of something I enjoy? I have quit for this long doesn't that prove that I can quit?
I don't enjoy the consequences. I need to know without question that I can stay sober for good and all. Its not worth the risk!
I told my wife last night how I felt. Now I see how normal people feel when they say a beer sounds nice but they just forget to go buy any... She agreed. I told her I now feel like this staying sober is pretty simple. Definitely not easy though.
I think if I was gonna drink yesterday would have been the day. After a high stress week an unexpected $3000.00 expense popped up. I was on the edge not gonna lie.
Just said to myself that these feelings will pass. Drinking will not solve anything. Just see how you feel tomorrow. Go read some SR. Before you drink get to a meeting. You can make it through tonight.
Sure enough. The feelings passed. I do not regret not drinking.
Happy Saturday
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 638
Congratulations. It is always inspiring to read these stories. Educational too.
A simple idea in the mix: Drinking is insanity and madness. When sober, that can be seen more clearly. All the stuff and opportunities that have been missed because of the booze..
I'm at day 30 today by the way. A full month after the next night slept.
A simple idea in the mix: Drinking is insanity and madness. When sober, that can be seen more clearly. All the stuff and opportunities that have been missed because of the booze..
I'm at day 30 today by the way. A full month after the next night slept.
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