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Old 06-25-2013, 06:52 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Need a sponsor


Need I say more? I live in a small town of 2000....AA is not an option. All gossip, all talk, and no one keeps things private. I've heard about others in AA, and what people say, and all I say "is shame on you". So, I live in this small town that has no respect for others privacy....I just bought AVRT recovery and will read...but I need someone to babysit me...who is up for this challenge? I did have three days in a row...but just can't keep it going for selfish reasons. I'm hoping by reading I will get some more insight I need.
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Old 06-25-2013, 07:00 PM   #2 (permalink)
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The thing is you don't need someone to babysit you Marjoram - noone does.
on the contrary, we need to accept responsibility for our own recovery

There's plenty of support here - but you need to lead not to follow

I think you have to look at some of the reasons why you're not willing to accept help in real life.

If you think you need more help than SR offers why not go to the next town, or check out an online meeting. Why not read Rational Recovery - no meetings at all.

Thats what I mean about leading the fight Marjoram - throw everything you have at this - if you convince yourself you can't you won't.

The answers in you - not outside.

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Old 06-25-2013, 07:03 PM   #3 (permalink)
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but I need someone to babysit me

You need to be babysitting yourself. A sponsor's responsibility is to guide someone thru the steps of AA, or just the sober journey. A sponsor isn't a babysitter and shouldn't be telling you what to do or not do. That's on you.

I understand your not going to AA in your small town but don't think it's a good idea to 'hire' a babysitter for your sobriety.
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Old 06-25-2013, 07:04 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I will work at it, Dee. I inspire my friends, and they have no idea what I'm battling....but it's time I take my words into action. Sorry....I guess, I'm just frustrated at my failures. I'll keep trying. You are a rock, and I hope some day I can inspire others to do the same.
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Old 06-25-2013, 07:05 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I've always taken responsibility for what I do...and I know this is no different.
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Old 06-25-2013, 07:06 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I'll keep plugging away, and hopefully can come back here and say "one month clean".
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Old 06-25-2013, 07:07 PM   #7 (permalink)
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over and out....I'll keep trying, and return when I can do better.
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Old 06-25-2013, 07:12 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I think you have SR all wrong here

It's not about returning when you have it right - it's about staying here - at least until you get it right.

You started this thread off by asking for support - why would you walk away from support when you need it the most?

Stay.
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Old 06-25-2013, 07:18 PM   #9 (permalink)
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We are here to help. Just bring the body your mind will follow later. Come as you are. Go ahead tell us what is the help that you seek?
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Old 06-25-2013, 07:20 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I would be your sponsor... but I'm an AA guy, not an AVRT guy.
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Old 06-25-2013, 07:25 PM   #11 (permalink)
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It's frustrating....in my work, if you say something, and someone interprets it their way, it sounds totally different from what you meant it to say. And maybe that is what happened here. No AA here...I can't do it - if you saw the town I lived in, you would understand. My husband was born and raised here, and if this came out it would be on the front of the local paper. I want to do what I can do privately in my own home.....so I'm looking for those that can give that kind of support. If I try this, and I have to turn to AA, then I will...but, it's my last resort.

Sorry for the statement above in my first post....it became misconstrued.

I'm not abandoning anything, I just need to find some peace in my life...work, personal, etc...and then return when I know I can do this. Apparently, now is not the time. I have to get rid of this job that is falsifying information on their financial statements. It's against everything I believe in, and it's tearing me up.

Sorry....
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Old 06-25-2013, 07:27 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Have you really heard gossip about what has been said in an AA meeting?

(I'm nosey and curious!)

Hugs,
~SB
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Old 06-25-2013, 07:28 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Dab - I know you know I'm not going AA....and it has nothing to do with faith and Christianity...I'm a Catholic...but more a Christian. I talk to God on my walks with my dogs and ask him for direction. But, I know, it's not to him to fix this....it's up to me. But, I still would like your suggestions, just on a personal level.

I believe everyone has their own way that works....what works for one may not work for another, and that's okay. All that matters is it works. I hope I can find that chemistry!
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Old 06-25-2013, 07:30 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Sugarbear - yes, I have, and it's horribly cold. I always tell them, can you look at yourself in the mirror while you are shaving and not cut yourself? Shame on them. It's really pathetic.
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Old 06-25-2013, 07:34 PM   #15 (permalink)
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So, those people are members of the AA fellowship and are talking about others in meetings. That is NOT what AA is about here. And in Maryland, I attend meetings with priests and ministers, so apparently religion isn't enough for them. There are AA meetings online....if you want, private message me when you can and I'll gladly send you some links.

Rational Recovery, AVRT, SMART, Life Ring, SOS, Women for Sobriety (might be a good one for you) all have their own websites!!

You can stay stopped and move forward in life!!!

Hugs,
~SB
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Old 06-25-2013, 07:37 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Thanks, Sugarbear. I know this....I just have to find the path that works...and stick to it. I'm just frustrated. It's my own fault. This sucks. But, I'll keep at it. Everyone around here DRINKS....and they won't hold it against me or my husband if we don't. Shame on our society that promotes everything good means drinking.
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Old 06-25-2013, 07:38 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marjoram View Post
Dab - I know you know I'm not going AA....and it has nothing to do with faith and Christianity...I'm a Catholic...but more a Christian. I talk to God on my walks with my dogs and ask him for direction. But, I know, it's not to him to fix this....it's up to me. But, I still would like your suggestions, just on a personal level.

I believe everyone has their own way that works....what works for one may not work for another, and that's okay. All that matters is it works. I hope I can find that chemistry!
Start with the 12 Steps start begin with step one, don't beat yourself up to much. Easy does it.

To answer your question step #2 states:

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than our–selves could restore us to sanity.
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Old 06-25-2013, 07:53 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Keep coming here and talk to us! I was on here SO SO much when I was first sober. It was literally the only reason I stayed sober until I learned my own way. We will always be here for you. I didn't go to AA either. I used AVRT and continue to use it.

*hugs*
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Old 06-25-2013, 07:54 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Thank you Kobe. Everyone here has a lot of wisdom to offer. All I can do is keep trying.
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Old 06-25-2013, 07:56 PM   #20 (permalink)
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I put off getting sober for years M.

There will never be a good time to do this - but doing this will make some of the other stuff better - or at least easier to handle.

That's a guarantee.

D
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