Mizzuno

I dont know what happened. How did my body become so unhealthy and ravaged? I was denied the nerve ablation for my back, my teeth are going to cost me $30,000.00 and I have no way of affording this. I really feel like life is closing in on me, and its not helping that it is raining outside. Most people my age (33) are healthy and enjoying life and I am having myself a pity party and not seeing all the positives that life has to offer. It could be so much worse. Really.
I guess I just wonder if this is past life stuff? Karma. Will this let up? If its going to stay this way I am uncertain of this. I really am.
Dealing with Alcohol Abuse issues and maintaining my sobriety! Im fed up.
One foot in front of the other.
Thank you for reading this miserable pile of S###!

Mizzuno

sassu78

Hi Mizzuno. I'm sorry you're feeling like that. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Keep breathing and pushing through. We're here to support you.

I wish you strength to believe in you and your brighter future

Dee74

Keep looking for alternatives with both the back and teeth Miz - it's ok to feel down from time to time - but don't let things keep you down.

Not what you want to hear I know, but there *are* a lot of people worse off than you even at 33.

I don't believe this is karma or anything of the sort....you said yourself the teeth thing was genetic, right?

D

Ian27

Hi Mizzuno, i know you've mentioned a few things that are getting you down but im sure there are loads more that you have going for you! They'll be plenty of positives in ur life and about u as a person!

Mizzuno

Yes, the teeth are genetic. All my family members on my mothers side have periodontal disease. Maybe if my parents took care of me, I wouldnt be facing this situation. Like if I went to the dentist on a regular basis and had deep cleanings this may have been prevented. Maybe. Screw them. One of the many reasons that I do not speak to those sick people. I need to win the lottery. The back issue is an old injury and insurance is making it hard to get anything done. The denial letter said that the procedure is experimental. I have already received cortisone injections, and physical therapy. This injury is intolerable. I have been dealing with it for 10 years. So, it is not Karma? Okay. I want to have a year off from any medical issues. I want to be healthy, and this is not happening. As much as I try to remain positive, the cards seem to be stacked against me. I am trying my hardest to make my life better. I just feel overwhelmed. What is the message? My husband deserves a healthy wife. I deserve to be healthy. I am not. Instead of saving money for vacations or a home, we are shoving money into medical bills and over the top dental fees that wont even save my teeth. We are spinning our wheels here. I dont even know how to think anymore. The insurance game in this country is F##### up on every damn level. Screw this.

Dee74

I understand how you feel. We all have those days.

Just don't rant yourself into a drink Miz, ok?

D

NeedMySavior

Sorry Mizz. And don't let this get to you, and give in to drink. You are so uh better than that and stronger. You have a whole lot on your plate, and I don't have any ideas to help with it, but, I do believe in you. You have helped so many here, that these new experiences will allow you to help even more.

Mizzuno

No drinks. I am drinking water, and eating spicy pumpkin seeds. I gotta get out of this head space. I am starting to feel less miserable. Im just pissed off. Thank you Dee!

By the way, Eden Organic Spicy Pumpkin Seeds are really delicious. If you run into them purchase immediately. Heavenly!

ClearLight

Yes -- things can suck.
But maybe try and focus on one thing that you find pleasing - one little thing. A flower or a smile. Make a note of that thing and put it in your good things box. do that over and over and you can go back to that box when times get hard.

avondale

Mizz,
Life sucks at times. Have you checked out the dental school in your area? I have been super lucky with insurance but now I am without. It sucks!!!


Try to find some alternatives.
Avondale

Anna

Mizzuno, I don't know if it's karma or not. But, everything happens for a purpose and we're meant to learn something from it. That's what life is about. The only thing we can control is how we react to things in our life.

Clearly you need to continue to deal with your back pain and your teeth, but try to let go of the anger. It just 'is'. Take small steps and continue to work for what you want. There will be times when you just can't, so take a break, but then continue with your goals.

nigey1

Hope things get better.

Just curious. WTF is with eating pumpkin seeds?

Arent they the bits you cut out of the middle of the pumpkin and throw in the bin before roasting said pumpkin and eating it with meat and gravy....

cascademn

Hi Mizz, I'm sorry you are feeling down and thanks for sharing what's going on with you. Pumpkins seeds are awesome. Thanks for the tip on the Eden Organic ones. I'm gonna get me some of those.

neferkamichael

Mizzuno I was wondering how much it was gonna cost to get my teeth fixed, now I know, thanks. It would only make life worse if we took a drink Mizzuno. Rootin for ya.

Pedro1234

Sending positive vibes your way Mizzuno

Mizzuno

I know that my thought process at this moment is not helping the situation. I am working on the deeper thoughts, and what I put into the world. Life is what it is. I would like some relief from all of the struggle. This will come. Yes, I do need to take a break from all of this. The answers will come to us. As long as I keep putting my best foot forward I know that everything will work out. I am tired. I am going to focus on my school work, and forget about this for now.

SnwFlower

I'm sorry that you're going through that Mizzuno. Things WILL get better, they always do, and they WILL. You deserve everything that you want in life and more Mizz. Remember with rain comes rainbows.

You are in my prayers and positive thoughts.

Those pumpkin seeds sound delicious.

Acheleus

Listen to this:
Gustav Mahler - Symphony No. 5: Adagietto (Solti, CSO) - YouTube

ersatzmatriarch

sending you good thoughts for health and hope, mizz...

Nighthawk8820

In recovery, you find there is always messes to clean up. It can be with your health, or with finances, and then of course your personal relationships. The thing is though, learning to face all of these things with a level head will build you to a level of confidence you cant imagine right now. The messes are there because you let them stack up, due to using. Now its time to clean them up. Try and not look at them all, but focus on one at a time. Have faith and if you are religious, ask for help and guidance. There are always other options besides using, remember that. You just have to work harder and be more proactive than you probably ever have. Its not fun, but as you tackle each one and overcome them, you get a life high and your confidence goes through the roof. Today is one day, tomorrow will be different. Hang in there.

Im still cleaning up things 2 years into sobriety, but it SO much better than when I was using. I can handle life's challenges and I face them all head on now, instead of procrastinating or ignoring them. You will learn to do the same.