A plan to cope with the weekend?
 

I am on day 5. My husband and I normally drink in the evening watching DVDs. We have done this for years. He also quit a few days ago. We have been going to bed very early, straight after our son is in bed, instead of drinking.

Tonight he asked me what we'll do at the weekend. Fridays and Saturdays follow the same pattern as other nights, but we usually drink more because we're not up so early the next morning and look forward to the weekend for that reason probably.

We have ideas of things we'd rather do instead of drinking such as exercise for me and music for him, but I feel I can't focus on anything other than not drinking at the moment. I had booked my first exercise class in ages tonight, but cancelled, felt tired and blah.

Anyway the point is, exercise classes seem a big effort but can't see me sustaining not drinking if my only plan is to be in bed at 8pm each night. What ARE we going to do this weekend? Suggestions or advice?

whatever you come up with let me know. my husband is out saturday and sunday night and those are my worst times.

These have been hard for me too. Typically the time I most look forward to - those couple hours where the oblivion waits for me.

I've found that seeing this desire as purely the AV has helped me. I shut it down and focus on things at hand - whether dishes, zoning out on music, reading, anything - and the urge passes.

When the urge passes I've found a level of peace that has escaped me for years. It's not perfect - I get angry, anxious and bored sometimes - but I focus on the strength it took me to shut down the Beast.

My wife and I had the exact same pattern. For me it's been less about finding things to substitute than doing the things you used to do (or should have done!) when drunk and appreciating them for what they are.

Do we really need to be drinking to appreciate a movie??

Best of luck and stay strong.

Take a walk. Work in the yard. Work around the house on projects. Read a book. Watch a movie and drink soda instead of alcohol. Be romantic together. Cook a special snack. Play a board game/card game. That's just a few suggestions.

If all you do is plan "not to drink" then drinking will probably be the first thing on your mind as you sit there wondering how not to drink. Honestly it doesn't really matter what you do, just plan to do something.

If going to bed early is keeping you from drinking, I say stick with what works, at least in the initial stage of quitting. For the weekend, you could make plans for a full day of activities for the entire family, both Saturday and Sunday, get good and tired and go to bed early. I slept a lot in early recovery...making up for all the late nights drinking.

I looked at it as "focusing on my recovery" rather than "focusing on not drinking" and there is nothing wrong with that. There's plenty of reading about addiction and alcoholism and recovery you can do. Doesn't make for an exciting weekend, but then again, this is your first sober weekend. Don't set your sights too far beyond getting through it sober. You can add "having fun" a couple of weekends down the road.

Good luck.