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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Springfield, OR
Posts: 7
Newbie
Just left a relationship due to alcohol/pot addiction. Dealing with heartache and loneliness but taking care of myself in healthy ways, including my meditation practice, reading dozens of books, articles, blogs, and websites on the subject. I fell in love big time, and it doesn't happen often for a widow of 66. So now, I'm here for support: both to give and to receive. Am learning a lot. Some days I have perspective and some acceptance. Other days, like yesterday, I can only cry. Didn't know I was capable of so many tears. But the emotional catharsis helps, too. In some ways, it's good that we have had a long distance relationship. I live in OR and he lives in CA. It made it easier for ABF to hide out, but our real-time, in person relationship revealed the extent of the problem. I am also in an addiction recovery book circle through my Buddhist sangha. Extremely helpful for me to look at my OWN addiction/compulsion around the relationship. I thought I went to learn about HIM, but, of course, it's about me, too. thanks for being here, all your courageous people!
Last edited by wylderose; 06-25-2013 at 11:08 AM. Reason: typo
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 25
Originally Posted by wylderose 
Just left a relationship due to alcohol/pot addiction. Dealing with heartache and loneliness but taking care of myself in healthy ways, including my meditation practice, reading dozens of books, articles, blogs, and websites on the subject. I fell in love big time, and it doesn't happen often for a widow of 66. So now, I'm here for support: both to give and to receive. Am learning a lot. Some days I have perspective and some acceptance. Other days, like yesterday, I can only cry. Didn't know I was capable of so many tears. But the emotional catharsis helps, too. In some ways, it's good that we have had a long distance relationship. I live in OR and he lives in CA. It made it easier for ABF to hide out, but our real-time, in person relationship revealed the extend of the problem. I am also in an addiction recovery book circle through my Buddhist sangha. Extremely helpful for me to look at my OWN addiction/compulsion around the relationship. I thought I went to learn about HIM, but, of course, it's about me, too. thanks for being here, all your courageous people!
. You might swing by the "Friends and Family of Alcoholics" forum as I think you will find a lot of people dealing with very similar issues in their lives. Keep your chin up and keep smiling!
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Welcome, Wylderose! I also attend a Buddhist 12-step book study group, currently reading "One Breath at a Time." Glad to meet someone involved in a similar group.
I hope you find opportunities to both share and receive wisdom here!
I hope you find opportunities to both share and receive wisdom here!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Springfield, OR
Posts: 7
Hi, honeypig: Thanks for responding. That is one of the (many) books we considered. We ended up with Mindful Recovery: A Spiritual Path to Healing from Addiction, by Thomas and Beverly Bien. We find it excellent.
We'll be reading a new one in a few weeks...forgot the title: also Buddhist based, one word. I'll post when I find out.
Thanks, again.
We'll be reading a new one in a few weeks...forgot the title: also Buddhist based, one word. I'll post when I find out.
Thanks, again.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
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Pleased to meet you wylderose. I'm so glad you found us. This is a great group of compassionate people.
I'm sorry for all that you've been through. I'm glad you didn't try to accept his behavior and cling to the relationship. I know how hard it must have been not to do that. (I think you'll benefit from checking out our Friends & Family Forum also.)
I hope sharing your story will help ease your anxiety. We're happy you joined us.
I'm sorry for all that you've been through. I'm glad you didn't try to accept his behavior and cling to the relationship. I know how hard it must have been not to do that. (I think you'll benefit from checking out our Friends & Family Forum also.)
I hope sharing your story will help ease your anxiety. We're happy you joined us.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Springfield, OR
Posts: 7
I certainly feel warmly welcomed. A special thanks to Anna (site volunteer) who helped me navigate the registration. Yes; I plan to be at Friends and Family Forum...really the place I "belong"! Thank you, one and all.
PS: I should add that clinging has not entirely ceased, as you might have surmised! Yesterday was all about feeling sorry for myself. Day at a time, right?
PS: I should add that clinging has not entirely ceased, as you might have surmised! Yesterday was all about feeling sorry for myself. Day at a time, right?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Springfield, OR
Posts: 7
Book title for HoneyPig
Hi, HoneyPig:
The next book we will be reading in my Shambhala reading circle on recovering from addiction is Enough!: A Buddhist Approach to Finding Release from Addictive Patterns.
The next book we will be reading in my Shambhala reading circle on recovering from addiction is Enough!: A Buddhist Approach to Finding Release from Addictive Patterns.
Last edited by wylderose; 06-26-2013 at 05:16 PM. Reason: typo
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