UnseenLight

Relapsed this weekend. I think my main problem is that I have no real recovery plan aside from just telling myself that I will not drink anymore. I drank Saturday evening and all day Sunday and stopped on Sunday evening. Once again, I’m on day two. I’m going to go to a meeting today. I don’t know what else I should do though. One problem I have is that I live alone and I have no real social life at all. I have a four year old daughter who stays with me for half of the week and I have never drank on the days that she’s with me. I feel happy when she’s around and I have no desire to drink, but as soon as I drop her off with her mom, I get bored and lonely and start drinking alone in my apartment. It isn’t even fun, so I don’t know why I continually do this to myself. I skipped school yesterday too. One more absence and it starts affecting my grade, so there’s another reason why I can’t keep doing this.
Anyway, I’m going to attend a meeting after school and afterwards, I’m going to try to create some kind of organized plan to help me be successful in my sobriety. I’m thinking about making a one month plan where I will schedule myself workout times, maybe hikes, and meetings to attend for the half week that my daughter is not with me. I guess I’m not comfortable with myself which could be why I only drink when I’m by myself. Any suggestions on what has worked for you guys would be greatly appreciated. I believe that I can overcome this addiction, but I just need some help in creating a recovery plan for myself.

Thanks for reading.

lessgravity

You are so right in knowing that you need a plan. I have a 6yo son and am sober now for him as much as anything.

I struggled in and out of AA for years until I found this site and specifically the AVRT/Rational Recovery methods. They changed my life.

You can search the Secular forum for AVRT threads. If you have any questions, if it sounds like it's right for you, feel free to pm me.

Stay strong.

sassu78

Have you thought about going to an AA meeting? I go there almost every evening because I feel safe and understood there...

Do you have any hobbies or could you start volunteering?

ScottFromWI

I use SR as my main support plan. I read here every day and try to post when I have time, and my family is a big part of my support as well. If a self-montiored program like using SR or AVRT, etc. doesn't work for you AA is always a good option to at least try. Some of the secular methods even have local meetings depending on where you live. I live in a fairly small city of less than 50,000 and there are Rational Recovery meetings 3 times a week and many options for AA meetings.

UnseenLight

Thank you! I've go to head out for school now, but I'll definitely look into that after school or between classes.

BabyJane

Everyone's recovery plan will be a little bit different, but for me, I had to put just as much effort into my recovery as I did in my drinking and drug habit; since I was a daily user / drinker that meant meetings, therapy or coming to SR nearly every single day for the past 8 months. I know that may seem extreme (I complained about it to my sponsor once as if she forced me into it haha) but I'm glad I have made the sacrifice because I was really tired of being sick. So I started with 5 meetings a week the first few months and now do 2 or 3 plus I see a therapist once a week if I have time and I come to SR often to check in. I've also started looking into AVRT and SMART and some of the other programs people use because its enlightening to keep an open mind. AA is good but I have a hard time with certain things so I have to use what I can and try not to look for differences as much or I will get frustrated and stop going. I am doing other things to keep busy in between - you have your child and school so you will be busy but think of all the time you won't have to waste drinking / being hungover!

I hope you find what works for you.

UnseenLight

I'm going to go to a meeting this evening. I have gone a few times, but I always stop going. Some meeting, I enjoy more than others. I guess I should try to check out a bunch of different ones and see which ones I particularly like.

I read a lot and almost always have homework, I also exercise sometimes but that's about it. I could definitely use a more time consuming hobby, like a sport or something like that. Anything that will get me out of my apartment and have me interacting with other people.

AlcoholicOrNot

UnseenLight - good for you realizing you need a plan. You mentioned how lonely you are when your daughter is not with you. Most definitely, you need to get out and about.
Staying in the apartment being bored would drive anyone to drink. Hiking is a good idea. What about riding a bike? I'm sure there are hiking clubs and biking clubs around.

Any activity will suffice as long as your mind is occupied, you won't be thinking about drinking.

Carlotta

I use AVRT, SR and AA.
I found out that in my case AA and AVRT complete each other rather than being in opposition. Because I was a closet drinker and I isolated, I need face to face support from my peers. I also meditate quite a bit.
I work an hybrid program but so far it is working well and I am very comfortable with it and with my sobriety.

Olive1

Although I don't go to AA meetings very often any more, in the beginning of my recovery I went to quite a few, and they were very helpful. I went to all kinds of different ones, I enjoyed the variety.
If you like the parts of AA meetings that you like, then I would plan on going to a meeting every day for at least the first month. Perhaps every other day the next month. And then at least weekly going forward.

Anna

I think that, along with stopping drinking, I was open to making changes in my life and I needed to do that. I had to change the way I looked at life, I had to learn to 'let go' and stop trying control everything, and I had to make choices about people in my life. Something I found was that, for each small change I made, there was a positive ripple effect in my life.

2granddaughters

If you have attended AA meetings then you have heard "How It Works".

Please listen to the oldtimers at the meetings and do what they have done.

"Half measures availed us nothing".

All the best.

Bob R

Dee74

My plan has been pretty simple UnseenLight - like Anna I stopped drinking and used whatever support I needed (in my case SR) and made whatever changes I had to to see that happen and keep it that way.

D

nigey1

Hey UL

I like to regularly brief myself on my plan and how its going, any upcoming events or issues etc.. It keeps me grounded and focused on the mission. Without this I find we can wander in our thinking and suffer "mission creep" where we gradually stray off course and other things take over in importance next thing there's a glass in your hand.

It may be regimented for some but it works for me

So every morning I go through my mental checklist, revisit my priorities and thank the big guy/girl, remind myself how good it is to have another day sober and go from there.

Just like drinking this is becoming a daily habit.

Good luck

GreenEggsAndHam

Right now I go to AA meetings (never have before, always just tried willpower), but I can already see that is not going to be enough for me. I need to actually work the steps and build a support system.

UnseenLight

Thank you everyone. I'm reading about AVRT right now, I'm going to go to an AA meeting (or 2) tonight, and I'm going to include coming on here at least once a day. I will just try as many different methods as I can and see what works best for me. I'm thankful for all of the feedback from all of you. I think I need to do something sobriety related every single day or else I probably won't be successful.

MeSoSober

SR is really my sole source of support. The magic of SR for me is that (a) I actually ENJOY coming here, (b) I can come here 24/7, (c) I do feel accountable to the people here, specifically the class of March 2013 (Go Marchers!) of which I am a member and (d) the ability to both give and get support. And I think that giving support to other people is often as important to our sobriety as receiving it. I'm not inhibited or shy about opening up and expressing myself here as I know I would be in front of other people "in real life" (either at an AA meeting or, say, a group counseling session).

Good luck and welcome to you!

Sonrisa12

I never tell myself that I don't drink anymore. If I did, I wouldn't be able to do it. My AV bothers me every day. I just tell myself, I'm not going to drink today. So far, so good.

avondale

Well I am a recovering alcoholic and have never done drugs. Recently I have worked in my basement, garden and now, I look like a crack addict with my arms. The police have questioned us. Last week I had an huge amount bruises and stuff. My body gets very vetted with bruises. I cleaned my basement and all the other things. I looked like a crack addict. I had never been bruising that badily.

I never did go away from the storie

UnseenLight

I think coming here will be my main source of support as well. I read through a bunch of stuff about AVRT from the Rational Recovery site and it seemed helpful as far as trying to keep my thoughts in order, but SR is the one place that I'll always have time for. I spend a lot of time in front of my computer doing homework or messing around on my phone so I'll always be able to come here.