helpformyfamily

Why does too much alcohol cause an otherwise nice, thoughtful person with self control to become mean, saying and doing hurtful things to the people they love? Some alcoholics just get sloppy, happy, more tender. Is the real person coming out under the influence of too much alcohol?

Dollyangel17

I know what you mean, but don't have the answer to it that. I don't necessarily think it's the "real" person coming out though. My grandmother was an angel, but when she drank...she got mean. My aunt is the same way, but only if she drinks vodka. When she drinks wine and gets drunk, she does get a little sloppy and emotional, but not mean.

Joe Nerv

I also don't have a clue. And agree that I don't think it has anything to do with the way some people "truly" are. And I know there are people who believe it is.

I was one of those drunks who told everybody how much he loved them when drunk... and I consider myself a good spirited person. I don't really wish anybody any harm, and enjoy being of service to others. Was always like that, even as a drunk.

In a blackout however, something that didn't thank god happen all that frequently, I was capable of anything. I did things that astounded me, things that were literally as though I was possessed. People often say they don't call alcohol spirits for nothing. I'm afraid of me in a blackout. Thankfully that hasn't happened in over 30 years.

Nonsensical

I became a mean drunk once I perceived something was a threat to my alcohol source. If I thought someone was about to interfere with my drinking, I would verbally attack.

GreenEggsAndHam

Not sure.

I am friendly and love people until I get reallllly drunk - to that state where I have blackout periods. I find reasons to pick fights (not physical) at that point.

Ian27

I become not such a nice person for sober people to be around when i drink, i think its when people try and help me when im drunk that i push back and become mean because the drink has that kind of hold over you. Completely different off it i can see people were only trying to help me.

BlueFrancis

I think alcoholics who say "alcohol doesn't affect me in that way" are still in denial. It may not affect some people in that way as much as others but every alcoholic has put their friends and family through stuff they wouldn't had been through without alcohol as a factor in their lives.

Just my opinion.

I've only been arrested (never charged with any offence) three times in 15 years of alcoholism. So, I could say the same but am under no illusions that I've put people through hell while drunk if only once in a blue moon. They've watched me destroy myself. They've all got their hopes up only for me to relapse again more times than I can remember. Goodness knows how many hours close ones have spent worrying about my safety.

Think about it. (or disregard it- makes no difference to me.)

Dollyangel17

For me, alcohol really didn't change my personality much WHILE I was under the influence that is. Obviously it affected my personality in the sense the it became a huge focus in my life and I had to have it, but in terms of how I acted while "under the influence"...didn't really change much. I never got mean, I never even got "sloppy" emotional, ...usually just very chatty and happy. Didn't change the fact that I am an alcoholic though.

I almost wish (but not really) I did get that way because I was so good at being a functioning "pleasant" alcoholic and not really showing it to others made it too easy to keep on doing it for a longer period of time.

sassu78

"Alcohol can create both short- and long-term chemical imbalances by affecting the chemistry of your brain. For those that already have a chemical imbalance, it can exacerbate the problem. Long-term alcohol abuse can lead to imbalances that increase the risk of memory lapses, aggression, suicidal thoughts and episodes of depression. A person who is dependent on alcohol feels the need to drink partly because alcohol consumption has replaced the normal function of the brain's chemicals"

Dib42

I get mean sometimes because I'm generally a very giving and helpful person. When I get drunk I get selfish and start thinking the world owes me for all the kind things I've done.

Or someone offends me and I decide its time to go to war...

I think sometimes it may be an exaggerated version of something I'm dealing with on a subconscious level.

Also if someone upsets my drunken delusions of grandeur.

doggonecarl

A much debated question and I guess one's view of this is influenced by how much you are on the receiving end of drunk's outburst.

I tended to not give to much slack to a person's behavior when they were drunk. To ask if that behavior is the "real" person or not doesn't seem to matter when that drunk is ready to lock horns with you. Violence, drunk or not, is pretty real.

I read the following on the Friends and Family forum:

"the words of the drunk are the thoughts of the sober"

That's been more my experience than not.

Jen31

When I drink I say all the things I keep inside. It's not that I feel "brave" or anything like that, it's just that my "be polite" sensor is turned off/ignored and all the things I've bottled up just spill out. I regret it the next day of course bc I've hurt someone. At the time, I didn't mind who I hurt.

Dib42

If I'm drunk and in the "mood" to hurt someone verbally, I'll say anything that I know hurts them. It doesn't matter if I mean it or not. So I don't really by into the "things you say drunk are what you're thinking sober" thing. To a point its true. But ultimately its whatever the intentions of the drunk party is.