Breaking the cycle
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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Breaking the cycle
My very first post here back in early April was completely honest.
What i failed to mention was that one of the other reasons for me to quit drinking was to try and break the cycle of alcoholism that has been running through my family for generations.
At home i feel it has been positive with my wife not drinking as much as before and also i think that my kids now realize that it isn't normal or acceptable to drink all the time like i used to.
If i can stop my kids from following the cycle of drinking everyday and abusing alcohol by leading by example then i have achieved something. I hope its not too late and my bad habits haven't already rubbed off on them!
That brings me to this weekend passed. My sister visited from up north and we caught up a couple of times on the weekend. We went to the local club on Saturday night (I was designated driver). I never realized how chronic her drinking problem was. She could hardly walk when we left the club after only a couple of hours. She was quite nasty also on a couple of occasions because i wasn't drinking with comments that I have changed and I am not the same person.
The rest of my extended family all live up north and i fear the new me will not be accepted just like my sister did to me on the weekend. I don't push my views onto anyone about drinking and i don't intend on doing that either but i am really worried about this as they are my family and i do love them all.
I just hope that i can keep leading by example to my kids moving forward and that the cycle of alcohol abuse can is broken in my home. If it means none acceptance from my extended family then i will just have to deal with that as it comes. Time will tell i guess:
What i failed to mention was that one of the other reasons for me to quit drinking was to try and break the cycle of alcoholism that has been running through my family for generations.
At home i feel it has been positive with my wife not drinking as much as before and also i think that my kids now realize that it isn't normal or acceptable to drink all the time like i used to.
If i can stop my kids from following the cycle of drinking everyday and abusing alcohol by leading by example then i have achieved something. I hope its not too late and my bad habits haven't already rubbed off on them!
That brings me to this weekend passed. My sister visited from up north and we caught up a couple of times on the weekend. We went to the local club on Saturday night (I was designated driver). I never realized how chronic her drinking problem was. She could hardly walk when we left the club after only a couple of hours. She was quite nasty also on a couple of occasions because i wasn't drinking with comments that I have changed and I am not the same person.
The rest of my extended family all live up north and i fear the new me will not be accepted just like my sister did to me on the weekend. I don't push my views onto anyone about drinking and i don't intend on doing that either but i am really worried about this as they are my family and i do love them all.
I just hope that i can keep leading by example to my kids moving forward and that the cycle of alcohol abuse can is broken in my home. If it means none acceptance from my extended family then i will just have to deal with that as it comes. Time will tell i guess:
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 861
Good for you for breaking the cycle. That is a huge gift to yourself and your kids.
I hope your sister and extended family are eventually able to see the positives in what you are doing. It can be hard but I hope you are able to stay sober.
I hope your sister and extended family are eventually able to see the positives in what you are doing. It can be hard but I hope you are able to stay sober.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Your NOT drinking was perceived as a threat to the alcoholic that lives in her head, so she attacked. Prepare yourself for more of this as it's likely to happen again and with other members of your family. Have a prepared answer about how you really like the new you and you hope they will also.
Best of Luck!
Best of Luck!
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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Originally Posted by Nonsensical 
Your NOT drinking was perceived as a threat to the alcoholic that lives in her head, so she attacked. Prepare yourself for more of this as it's likely to happen again and with other members of your family. Have a prepared answer about how you really like the new you and you hope they will also.
Best of Luck!
Best of Luck!
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: lake county, ohio
Posts: 6
Hello Pedro1234. Congrats to you on your sobriety, but sorry to hear about the family situation...I am a loved one of a recovering drug addict. I figure I would respond with my story and see if you had any insight for me. My ex and I had been through a lot during his addiction. He ended up stealing from me and other loved ones. Once I found out it was an addiction, I stood by his side and helped him get into treatment. He went for 3 months and has now been out for almost 2 months. He's doing great. We used to live together, but after treatment he's been staying at his parents. Just recently he broke up with me. (i changed a lot in my life to make things work for us, because i wanted to) I occassionally go out with some friends, but he gets so mad/jealous at me, that he can't handle it and said it isn't good for him, which i understand. It just hurts my feelings that we've been through so much, love eachother so much, but he just ended it like he did. I understand his sobriety comes first, i'm just having a very rough time right now and need to hear it from another recovering addicts perspective. I would take him back, but I think he's done. Or at least as another recovering addict told me, he's not thinking about anything else right now besides his sobriety. Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
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Originally Posted by av1234
Hello Pedro1234. Congrats to you on your sobriety, but sorry to hear about the family situation...I am a loved one of a recovering drug addict. I figure I would respond with my story and see if you had any insight for me. My ex and I had been through a lot during his addiction. He ended up stealing from me and other loved ones. Once I found out it was an addiction, I stood by his side and helped him get into treatment. He went for 3 months and has now been out for almost 2 months. He's doing great. We used to live together, but after treatment he's been staying at his parents. Just recently he broke up with me. (i changed a lot in my life to make things work for us, because i wanted to) I occassionally go out with some friends, but he gets so mad/jealous at me, that he can't handle it and said it isn't good for him, which i understand. It just hurts my feelings that we've been through so much, love eachother so much, but he just ended it like he did. I understand his sobriety comes first, i'm just having a very rough time right now and need to hear it from another recovering addicts perspective. I would take him back, but I think he's done. Or at least as another recovering addict told me, he's not thinking about anything else right now besides his sobriety. Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
You see addicts tend to look for all sorts of reasons to justify to themselves why they are like they are. Sometimes, they look to blame others. They can look for any reason other than that it is their own fault. Not all addicts are the same and they can differ in what they need in their life during the recovery process. Some prefer to be alone, some need lots of support, some use AA and some don't. Some may even find the added stress of a relationship too much to handle. It may just be that your boyfriend needs this time on his own to get through the recovery process. It has only been a relatively short time (5 months) and he may just need more time. I hope it all turns out for you as you deserve to get on with your life. You are a lovely caring person
Keep posting if it helps!
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Originally Posted by 2granddaughters
Are you attending AA meetings, Pedro?
All the best.
Bob R
All the best.
Bob R
I am not religious and i don't think that AA would suit my recovery at this stage. In saying that, If i found that my willpower was slipping and that little voice in my head starts to win over, i would gladly try anything including AA.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
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Pedro, I'm not being a smart alec quoting parts of your posts back to you, have a look and you'll see what I mean.
Next time you catch up with one of the family maybe focus on a different activity that can be muutally enjoyed?
Originally Posted by Pedro1234
My sister visited from up north and we caught up a couple of times on the weekend. We went to the local club on Saturday night (I was designated driver). I never realized how chronic her drinking problem was. She could hardly walk when we left the club after only a couple of hours. She was quite nasty also on a couple of occasions because i wasn't drinking with comments that I have changed and I am not the same person.
Originally Posted by Pedro1234
addicts tend to look for all sorts of reasons to justify to themselves why they are like they are. Sometimes, they look to blame others. They can look for any reason other than that it is their own fault.
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Originally Posted by Marcher13
Pedro, I'm not being a smart alec quoting parts of your posts back to you, have a look and you'll see what I mean.
Next time you catch up with one of the family maybe focus on a different activity that can be muutally enjoyed?
Next time you catch up with one of the family maybe focus on a different activity that can be muutally enjoyed?
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