Acheleus

I am not happy with this stuff any more. I don't know if I am going to drink but I am going to stay away from the internet for a while, I feel that it just makes me depressed. Thank you for helping me in my sobriety. When I finish my class I am going camping in the woods for two weeks to figure out what I should do.

2granddaughters

I used to get a case of beer, go down to the beach and try to figure out what my problem was.

I sat on my problem as I drank away totally missing the cause of my suffering.

The solution came when I finally admitted I couldn't figure it out and needed a new manager.

Good luck to you.

Bob R

wanttobepure

I know what it's like to spend too much time on the Internet. Have fun in the woods!

DAB

I hope you return with vim and vigor towards your sobriety!
I wish you all the best!

Nuudawn

All the best at Walden's Pond.

IWillWin

Ach - I hope you find what you are looking for. Sincerely. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what IT is for me, but I'm searching sober.

Hope that you do the same come back and see us when you are ready.

ScottFromWI

Take care Achaelus. I truly hope you have something else to work on your sobriety in the meantime. Just yesterday you were here asking for support as you were close to picking up again. Recovery is hard work, hope you figure out a plan that works for you.

Dee74

I think Scott makes a great point.
Many times I didn't want to be in recovery anymore - but I had to be.

Make sure you have the support you need.

Best wishes Acheleus - remember the door swings both ways

D

Hevyn

Yes - I hope you'll decide to come back to us Acheleus. We care about you.

Mizzuno

Acheleus. I am starting to see a pattern here, and I mean this with all sincerity and compassion. I see that you are up and down a lot. The moods are fluctuating from happy and enjoying life, to misery and severe depression. You made it to day 25, and now on day 26 you are leaving and fed up with everything.
I get the computer thing for sure, and taking a break is required by all of us at times. Have you set any kind of appointment with a doctor or a therapist to talk with yet?
We all need help from others in our life. NO man is an Island. Once again, I will encourage you to please speak with someone about what is ailing you. Isolation for 2 weeks alone means that you are alone with your head, and sometimes that is not a good thing. Especially those of us who are new to sobriety.
(((HUG))) to you!

Acheleus

I do feel optimistic then extreme terror. I looked up prices for health insurance online and I will buy some with the money I would have spent on cigs. Really I do not know what is wrong. I hate being in school, I do not have any friends, people here do not like me, I have this gray hair, probably from smoking, and I just do not feel satisfied with my life. Alcohol screwed up my thinking and now I feel like I am starting to see the mistakes I made because of alcohol. I am trying to be happy but tomorrow morning I will call a doctor and make an appointment to see about my depression. But I am poor and I am wasting my time inschool and my father lost everything he owned bc of women abd drinking, and I mean everything. I hate my life and I do not like anything. And yes I do feel good then bad, I do not know if I am bi polar or something. Should I tell the doctor about my mood?

Dee74

I definitely think you should discuss it with someone. It may just be adjusting to being sober, or it may be something else entirely - but it certainly seems to knock you around a lot, Acheleus.

D

Acheleus

I do not want to leave I just deep in my heart do not believe people are good or nice . So I imagine the help I get on here is disingenuous. But I will try to stop the negative demon that lives in my head. Alcohol just helped me shun reality for so long and now my eyes are burning. No one cares about me in my real life, and I do not like where I live. All I want to right now is drink: alone, with people, it does not matter. I have never felt this kind of thing before. It seems like I should have felt this way weeks ago.

Pedro1234

I am feeling for you Acheleus.
If you need to be alone then be alone. If you need to get off line then so be it. But If and when you need help and support don't forget we are here and we really do care. This is your life. This is your recovery and only you can make it happen. As i said to you before it is only a short time that you have been sober and it is going to take alot longer but eventually things will improve beyond what you can imagine. You are doing this, really doing this. 28 days worth of solid effort
All of your just rewards are not far in your future so don't let what you have achieved to date go. Acheleus- Success smiles on effort

Acheleus

Thank you. I will try not to overreact when I feel bad. I am calling a doc first thing in the morning.

Pedro1234

Its far from over reacting. You really need to get your feelings out and that is what this forum is all about Call the doctor mate and get as much help as you can. You are doing great

Spinach

I found nothing but help and care from people who do not know me or will ever meet
but we have one thing in common we came here because we drink/drank to the point
of causing unhappiness and more for ourselves and others we know. This place gave me strength , hope and a sense of being . You found yourself here come back and let yourself do the things that need to change . Enjoy your time away.
John.

Shining~Again

I wonder why you don't feel liked on here? And you also said that you don't believe people are good and/or nice.

Did something happen specifically to make you write that?

Sorry if I'm poking and prodding. I tend to zero on on certain emotions and I've been learning how to ask more direct questions.

Please stay.

Acheleus

I'm not sure why. I hold a pretty dim view of the human race, but that is probably because I am looking at things the wrong way. Crazy parents and stuff.

Mizzuno

Acheleus. I truly do understand where you are coming from. I have been there myself. People do care Acheleus, and I am one of those people. I say all of this out of concern for your well being, not because I am programmed in some way to. When I was in my twenties, I seriously went into a major depression. I am now in my early thirties, and things are leveling off. I am only telling you this to let you know that I understand the ups and downs, and not knowing if I was coming or going. You do have people in your life A. We are here for you every step of the way. Please know that there are real people in the world who do care, and it is not for self serving purposes. You are an amazing, intelligent, joyous person that deserves to be happy and to feel comfortable in your own skin. I think that calling a doc is a good move. Yes, tell them of your moods and everything else. Does your school not have any resources available for the students? What about a sliding scale clinic?
Lets think about some options. Yes, if you need to go camping for 2 weeks do it. I am sure there is good thinking time in with that. Take care of you Acheleus.