First day.. Terrified... Need hope!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Welcome Fer! I'm glad you came here for support & friendship. I drank all my life and SR helped me find the courage to change.
Some never see what alcohol is doing to them. I was a very slow learner. I found myself completely dependent on it - looking back all the signs were there long ago. I'm glad you've taken a look at what drinking is doing to your life. You can stop now and have a wonderful new beginning with no regrets. We know you can do this, Fer.
Some never see what alcohol is doing to them. I was a very slow learner. I found myself completely dependent on it - looking back all the signs were there long ago. I'm glad you've taken a look at what drinking is doing to your life. You can stop now and have a wonderful new beginning with no regrets. We know you can do this, Fer.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Originally Posted by Fer 
Thanks guys. Feel a bit better already, I live in a really small town and that's the thing that stops me going to an AA meeting.. Fear of knowing folk there! Oh and am unable to send PM until I ave more posts!
In retrospect I wish I'd joined AA or some other group program early on. t would have spared me no end of trouble. I should have realized two things: (1) if an alcoholic really recovers, most people really respect and admire that. It's like a medal on your chest. They pat you on the back. And (2) when I feared that "word might get around" I may often have been kidding myself, that is it is likely, particularly in a small community that, if you're drinking, the word does get around. Then, if you start going to meetings, that's a point in your favor.
W..
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK (England)
Posts: 2,782
Fer, you might find talking to your doctor a good source of support, I wouldn't worry about it being on your medical records fear and shame have finished many people off. There is nothing embarrassing about this, everybody knows someone who has struggled or is struggling with this it is extremely common. My GP has been instrumental in supporting me, I even sometimes just go in for a chat if something's worrying me, I receive nothing but support from her and defiantly no judgement!. I hope you are feeling more positive, stick around here its a really helpful place to be.
All the best
All the best
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by wpainterw
You can tell other alcoholics. The will understand and will not blame you. Many of them will try to help you. You'll feel better telling them instead of having it all bottled up inside. You've been ill. Nothing to be ashamed of. And, to recover, that's simply heroic. Many many folks will admire you for that. Go for it! Get help from your doctor, from AA or some other program. This SR site. It's worked for others. It can work for you. Good luck.
W.
W.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by Sasha4
Some people need help from their doctors with detox and are prescribed drugs to help.
If you think you will have physical withdrawals then you need to see a doctor.
If not, there is no reason to tell anyone or make any grand announcements. Unless you want to of course.
When I stopped I told no-one the real reason why.
At first I said I had stopped for a month. Then I said I had decided to go for six months, then year.
Now if anyone asks I just say I prefer not drinking.
Lik other posters have said, I am sure many, many people guessed my issues with drink.
But all were kind enough not to say anything.
I found the key to my success was few things.
1. Just took it one day at a time. I did not think or look too far ahead. I could drink whenever I wanted, I was just choosing not to drink today.
2. Got busy - I had to move myself off the sofa, away from the television and do other things.
3. I spent a lot of time here at SR.
I can honestly say now, hand on heart, it would feel strange to sit all evening and drink. Drinking at lunch time would be even more strange.
There have been many times I have regretted drinking.
I have never regretted not drinking. Not once.
My best too you
If you think you will have physical withdrawals then you need to see a doctor.
If not, there is no reason to tell anyone or make any grand announcements. Unless you want to of course.
When I stopped I told no-one the real reason why.
At first I said I had stopped for a month. Then I said I had decided to go for six months, then year.
Now if anyone asks I just say I prefer not drinking.
Lik other posters have said, I am sure many, many people guessed my issues with drink.
But all were kind enough not to say anything.
I found the key to my success was few things.
1. Just took it one day at a time. I did not think or look too far ahead. I could drink whenever I wanted, I was just choosing not to drink today.
2. Got busy - I had to move myself off the sofa, away from the television and do other things.
3. I spent a lot of time here at SR.
I can honestly say now, hand on heart, it would feel strange to sit all evening and drink. Drinking at lunch time would be even more strange.
There have been many times I have regretted drinking.
I have never regretted not drinking. Not once.
My best too you
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: England
Posts: 39
Keep going one day at a time
I would be horrified if anyone outside of husband and daughter knew so know how you feel. I think there must be a lot of others out there covering up very well. I am not a meetings person - I think this site is great, I've enjoyed 14 days sober now. Added bonus - I look a hell of a lot better!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Around and About
Posts: 1,254
Fer!Most everyone close to me knows I have alcoholism which I am treating. They neither coddle me nor judge me. Maybe it is age (68) but everyone I know is either dead, or suffering from some disease or condition.
That said, since I attend AA I do believe in anonymity and NEVER break anyone else's (heck, most of the town I live in go to meetings). I also do not break mine except on a need-to-know basis.There is no shame in this; just something to be addressed.
(Sorry if much of this has been said before-I will read through this thread later today).
(((((((((Fer)))))))
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: California
Posts: 228
Great for you that you are tackling this thing!
As far as telling everyone you know, you only need to say what you feel like saying. You don't need to collapse into tears and scream "I'm an alcoholic!" every time you tell someone you're not drinking.
For me, I've been breezy about it, saying something like "I'm off the sauce for now. I'm getting too old, I guess, but alcohol has been making me feel sick lately. Maybe it's the sulfites!"
Or you could always blame some kind of minor health problem--"No thanks, I'm not drinking right now. My doctor says alcohol is contributing to my chronic sinus infections (headaches, IBS, whatever)."
Or you could admit a problem without making a big deal about it--"Since the separation, I've been going a little nuts with the wine. I don't want Chardonnay to be my new boyfriend!"
The last approach would be useful if you run into someone you know at AA. Everyone there gets it, otherwise they wouldn't be there.
Quitting drinking is a big deal and it's emotionally fraught, of course, but there's no reason talking about it has to be so HEAVY all the time!
Take it one day at a time.
As far as telling everyone you know, you only need to say what you feel like saying. You don't need to collapse into tears and scream "I'm an alcoholic!" every time you tell someone you're not drinking.
For me, I've been breezy about it, saying something like "I'm off the sauce for now. I'm getting too old, I guess, but alcohol has been making me feel sick lately. Maybe it's the sulfites!"
Or you could always blame some kind of minor health problem--"No thanks, I'm not drinking right now. My doctor says alcohol is contributing to my chronic sinus infections (headaches, IBS, whatever)."
Or you could admit a problem without making a big deal about it--"Since the separation, I've been going a little nuts with the wine. I don't want Chardonnay to be my new boyfriend!"
The last approach would be useful if you run into someone you know at AA. Everyone there gets it, otherwise they wouldn't be there.
Quitting drinking is a big deal and it's emotionally fraught, of course, but there's no reason talking about it has to be so HEAVY all the time!
Take it one day at a time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Scotland
Posts: 7
I get you white feathers!
I think I'm just starting to realise that I will be needing some support, and that'll mean admitting to some!
First stop GP, she is actually very nice!
Thanks for your advice. Think I'll say I'm on a diet! Lol
I think I'm just starting to realise that I will be needing some support, and that'll mean admitting to some!
First stop GP, she is actually very nice!
Thanks for your advice. Think I'll say I'm on a diet! Lol
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
