Tinah

I am37 have been drinking for 20 yrs. in the last year i have tried to it back from drinking, I have always been a bartender or in management,so I wanted to get away from that. I was homeless and found and older gentleman to take me in a have began to care for him full time. I worked for a year when I first moved in bartending, but my drinking and his need of care has brought me to stay home with him. I never had and kids and I'm not used to being home like this. I l love being home and cooking, cleaning etc and probably the most stable I've been since my mother past away 5 years ago. I'm not concerned about a place to live or anything he's there for me. In the past year I've become pretty much home bound i don't want to go anywhere my drinking had slowed down and on new year we drank together and then I decided I just don't want to be like this any moreso I quit drinking for 2 months withdrawal wasn'tthat bad that time then convinced myself i could drink and drank 2 fifths and some beer in 3 days stopped cold turkey and and withdrawals were really bad as far as anxiety. Everything I bingged and stopped i feel my mental health slipping. I went 11 days last month and had a horrible panic attack! Always been anxious but nothing like that! Started drinking again because I'm convinced I gonna have a heart attack an Die. So why die sober. Went to the ER because the panic as tacks were so bad.it took 10 beers to get me there. They offered to let me stay, but couldn't because this man really Needs me home with him. They gave me librium taper took and was great ended saving 2 felt a lot of anxiety after that kept still getting panic attacks after nine days started drinking again. Now I'm back to where I started. it 10:00 and I'm drinking Bloody Mary I terrified of sobriety and withdrawal i have a hard time even leaving the house i am so sad because it seems the more I try the worse I feel. I don't sleep hardly ever unless I pass out. Any ideas ? Before I never wanted to be sober but now I want it more than anything!
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2granddaughters

AA worked for me and millions of others. My panic attacks left soon after joining AA.

My old bartender from the early 1960's has 47 yrs sober in AA today. So can you.

All the best.

Bob R

Nuudawn

Alcohol is not a medical or therapeutic remedy for panic attacks. Have you spoken to a medical professional about how to deal with panic/anxiety effectively?

Tinah

They wanted to keep my at the ER but I couldn't stay I took the late 2 librium to get me to a interview and tb test to start getting paid to take care of my friend ( didn't want to smell like alcohol)i made it through that. I getting to scared to leave the house i frustrated and the more I get down on myself the worse it gets.

Iwanttobebetter

I have anxiety and panic attacks too and I find that if I have more than 2 drinks in one night I always have really bad anxiety the day after. Sometimes it's so bad I can't even drive or really leave my house. When I give myself a few days without drinking I feel so muh better. I also see a therapist and have made some big changes to reduce stress in my life. Good luck and hugs. I really hope you can find more constructive ways to deal with your anxiety. It's a terrible thing to have to go through but I know you can do it.

2granddaughters

Tinah, I highly advise that you look in your phone book and find the AA number. Give them a call and talk to the good folks there.

You are at a turning point right now. I pray that you choose the thing that will help you the most even if it scares you the most.

Call AA ... if you don't hear what you need to hear you can hang up. You can do this.

I will add a copy of the AA Promises from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Do they sound like what you are looking for?


THE PROMISES

The Promises, that are read in many A.A. Meetings can be found on page 83-84, of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous.

THE A.A. PROMISES

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and selfpity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

All the best.

Bob R

least

to SR! You'll find a lot of support and understanding here. You can do this!

sunya

I suffered horrible panic attacks for 11 years. Since I stop drinking April 12, 2013, I've had two. That was in the beginning. I had to be medically detoxed. Life is so much better sober but not having panic attacks is priceless. It gets better.

cascademn

Tinah, I've got some pretty intense anxiety of my own and it was there before the drinking started. The one thing my therapist told me was that she could not even begin to help me deal with the anxiety until I quit drinking. Please reach out to a mental health professional that can help you with your addiction and your anxiety. I did a quick search on google and it looks like there is at least one clinic in New Albany that offers care on a sliding scale fee system. I'm very glad you posted on SR. You can get through this and feel better!

Tinah

The only thing I want it to be sober and help this man and anyone who needs me more than any thing. I've been self medicating for so long but it'snever been this bad.thank you guys so much mostly I don't even want to drink. I just know that if I do I can get everything done that he needs to be done. I know I can if I drink I can get through everyday livings don't know how it got this bad

IWillWin

Hi Tinah - it got this bad because alcohol abuse progresses and one day BOOM you are hopelessly addicted.

It is best to seek medical attention always...alcohol consumption at the levels you describe can be very serious.

Wishing you the best on your journey!!!

OneLessLonely

Unfortunately if a careiver is not taking care of themselves, they can only take of others for so long before both people suffer. I would recommend you do whatever it takes to get you well so you can keep this gentleman well. I'm sure if he cares about you and you tell him you need to get help, he will understand and would want you to get well.

Tinah

I know that he needs me, and if I left and something happened i would never forgive myself. He has stuck by me. My family couldn't do as much. I would rather drop dead drunk than leave him without.

FamilyMan2153

I was the same way. When I went to my Phych doctor he gave me more pills but I just kept drinking. The medicine worked ok but nothing worked like 4-5 rum and cokes. The problem was that I was killing myself. The mixture of the pills and the booze could have been a lethal combination. I would be fairly sober and blacked out drunk in 10 minutes. All I can tell you is that you are not alone. Many of us self-medicated in a downward spiral. I have been sober for 10 months now and got rid of all that medication. It was scary at first, very scary but I hated the man I had become. You can do this as well but remember you have to do it for yourself. Not to help someone else. That will probably be the benefit from quitting but not the reason. Good luck.

Dee74

Hi Tinah
welcome

I'm disabled and I have carers and the bald fact is if you're drinking you may not be giving him the standard of care he needs anyway?

Look after yourself and get well.

Can you organise a replacement temporary carer for your client and go and get the medical help you need?

D

sunshinescooby

Go to AA.. Amazing.. I've only been to three meetings, but they have made a profound difference in my life already..

Nighthawk8820

Panic attacks are pretty standard for alcohol withdrawal, and even when just hungover. Look at how much alcohol has already costed you? Its only going to get worse and worse if you dont get sober and stick with it. The longer you drink, the worse the withdrawal is going to be. The good news is you only have to withdrawal once if you stick with sobriety. Its a game changer and your life can completely change around for the better. Better than you can even imagine right now, but you have to start by actually getting sober. Maybe you should look into a medical detox which can help with the anxiety and other unpleasant symptoms. You can be free of this, but you have to go after it with all you got.

Tinah

I want to give it everything I want to do my crosswords again i want to help him do the jigsaw puzzle i got for him for Father's Day. I am so terrified of withdrawal an panic attacks . I work to be an alcoholic more than anything. Make the shakes stop get breakfast for him am I gonna have enough alcohol to get through the day I am so sad abd exhausted, I don't sleep I'm swollen and I am sick and tired of being sick and tiredthank you all for your help it. Makes me fell so much better I've been trying to cut back all day! I want this more than anything!

Nighthawk8820

The anxiety sucks, but it goes away. The alcohol is contributing to it in a massive way, trust me, I had it really bad too. Talk to a doctor about getting help with this, this is not something you have to do all alone,there are many resources around.

EmeraldRose

Welcome.
We never know how it gets so bad. One day I remember pouring a rum and coke while getting dinner ready for my children and 30 years later I drank whiskey straight from the bottle losing control over my life.
At one point, I had attacks, too, and was given a mild prescription med...I was more afraid of them and how they would affect my drinking and didn't want to be hooked on both so I quit...but not the booze. That was my safe haven.
If I were you I'd check in with a doctor and be straight up with him so they can help -then drive straight to an AA meeting. Come here for support and read others' stories.
You can't take care of someone else if you can't take care of yourself. Bottom line.
Wishing you peace and strength.