sassu78

Everything is going great. Day 32 sober, I feel physically amazing!

Now I knew that once I change my life, I will lose most of my friends and I did. Even my best friend who I thought will stay in my life is slowly fading away. We have nothing in common anymore.
When I get home from work I just feel so lonely. I go out to the gym and to AA meetings but I still feel empty because I'm used to having so many people around me.

Does/did any of you guys feel this way?

I'm very happy that I started going to the meetings. I feel accepted, cared for and understood there. I used to only post and chat here but it feels amazing to talk about these things face to face with somebody.

Anyways...I'm working on getting out more to do sober stuff to meet new, sober people and I'm sure I will find REAL friends who'll love me for REAL me...

Take care of yourself and enjoy the weekend!

IWillWin

Hi Sassu! Yes, I feel the same. I knew it was coming once I got sober, and although there are feeble attempts by some of my old friends to keep connected I can feel them drifting away one by one. Gone are the days of us all pretty much doing anything together because I've learned over the last 9 months that I don't particularly care for drunk people.

I had a full social life of travel, casinos, parties, concerts and just holing up in hotels to drink and do god knows what. It was all fun - until it was not. It is still fun for my friends though and I can't do much about that.

I think AA is a great move - I used it a lot in my early months and it saved me in various ways. But, as I gained some traction and took what I needed I found that the good folks here in my area who attend meetings are VERY into the program and do not socialize with anyone outside the rooms who is not as dogmatic in their lives. So, I don't find company there but I do enjoy meetings and will attend when the desire strikes.

I think we both just have to keep looking and trying new things to build up a social network again. It's lonely here in the land of clear eyes and clear heads but I will take this over what I had become any day.

So, guess this is just a very long way to say you are not alone and I share your experience. Lol!

sunya

I just made a similar post. Life is good except for this loneliness. I hope this to shall pass.

cascademn

Hey Sassu, you described my situation perfectly. It's the biggest reason I reached out to this site, but... we need to hang with people in the flesh too. Have you looked at the Meetup.com site? I found a group there that is great. Really forces me to get to know people again. Please continue let us know how your quest is going! You have a most excellent weekend as well. Cheers, j

sassu78

Thanks guys!

Iwillwin, I totally agree with you. My friends still invite me everywhere but they look so different in my eyes now and I'm tired of listening who drank what in the last party...It's hard to believe I was one of them a month ago...

Casca, thanks for the website! I will definitely check it out!

tootsl1

Sassu, what are your interests? If you do a night class or something that you enjoy, you will meet like minded people. I socialised here an awful lot at the start, I am more of a home body anyway, so I still count some here as my best friends!!

sassu78

I'm volunteering in our animal shelter every now and then and I love it!

I guess I need to start doing that more...

least

Oh yes, please do. Those animals need people like you.


The loneliness will pass as you make new sober friends.

Nighthawk8820

Yes I felt this way, and sometimes I still do. The thing I do is try new things, which is actually how I found this forum. I like to challenge myself as much as possible, so I don't get as bored. The weekends can be tough sometimes, but I chalk it up to the price I pay to get to where I want to be. You wont always be lonely, its temporary, and magnified by the recent loss of friends. It DOES get better.

Try a few of these things, you already do the gym, which in my opinion is a lifesaver for those of us in recovery.

-Discover new music on things like spotify.
-Drive a different way to work or coming home.
-Shop for your groceries at a new place.
-Join a group based on something that interests you.
-Try something that scares you
-Get netflix streaming on your TV
-Start saving money to go on an awesome vacation to someplace amazing and new.

Those are a few I like to do or am doing. I work a lot too. I know I will meet more people when its time, but I am content now and have gotten to know myself again, which is cool.

sassu78

Thanks Nighthawk!!

hayley86

I can relate to this I have lost a lot of "friends" guess they were not that great of friends anyway though, its a small price to pay for me being sober and in the grand scheme of things as long as I am healthy and well and sober its not the end of the world for me, its really a small thing on my radar. I am hoping to meet more new sober friends soon though, Congratulations on day 32, that's a brilliant achievement!!

Bensmammy

Hi sassu78 - lots of great advice here - I'm too early into my recovery to know whats going to happen - i'm blessed that I have friends who like to go for coffee so will be spending more time with them than the girls who like the cocktails - that said the cocktail girls will have a couple then their happy - Mammy here would kick the backside out of it !!!! Keep in touch and let us know how its going for you x