Working on day 7 today
 

I am so happy with my progress thus far, but scared at the same time. I was suppost to go to a meeting this week but didn't go because I knew I wouldn't drink that night anyways. I have gone to AA in the past but I didn't feel like it was my cup of tea so much. I only went a few times and have never gone long enough to get a sponser. I was just wondering what sponsers actually do and if u think the chances of someone getting sober with-out AA is possible. I am a single mom of 2 young chidren and for me to get out at night is damn near impossible. My son is 9 and I just don't feel comfortable bringing him with me. And I don't have anyone to babysit ( when I was drinking I did it at home). I have made plans tonight to babysit my friends daughters so I would not have the option to drink. Tomorrow night however is the TEST. Its my cousins stag and my friends 30th birthday. I have planned not to attend either. My friend is complaining that I will be there and making jokes about me getting sober. Even speaking to her yesterday had me questioning ...Well maybe I could just get a six pack and that's it. I know this is a terrible way to think. THAT SCARED ME. I guess Im just feeling like, what if I miss all these things and end up drinking again in a week or two and I just end up looking stupid. I know I can probably do this, but I just worry what will happen when the (high) of being sober so to speak wears off. Or does it....

The AA program is not only about your desire to stop drinking. It is also about helping others to do the same. There are times I did not feel like going or maybe I was just being lazy or maybe I did not feel the need for meeting because I, like you, did not feel I was going to drink that night.

I go not only to keep me sober but help others to do the same. What if every member of an AA meeting felt the same. I am not going to drink tonight so I am not going to go. Who would be there? Who is going to welcome that scared and shaky person to get through another 24 hours.

Today I am so grateful that AA is there. I am so grateful that there are those that are unselfish enough to be willing to continue to create groups and make the commitment to be there for others like me.

The program works if you work it. You have to have the desire to quit drinking. That is the only requirement for membership in AA. After that then you have to be willing to do the 12 step program and put in the effort. To put your trust in the fellowship as a whole and then to place it with a sponsor.

My sponsor is a mentor, a sounding board, a person to bounce my thoughts off of and the person that takes me through each step. We read the step and then discuss it one on one. She answers my questions when I don't understand. She is an alcoholic just like me. She has also become my friend. I trust her.

She thanks me for coming into her life. As we read the steps and the parts of the big book she tells me this is a reminder to her and she needs that.

Can the friend you babysit for, babysit for you?

Removing the option to drink is not the same as making the decision to not drink. For me it may have kept me from drinking that night but I would have thought about it and wished I could have the entire night.


What you decide to do is just that, your decision. If you really feel you are going to fail anyway, then what are you going back and forth about?

I am not saying that if you decide to stay sober you will not have a relapse anymore then I can say that if you decide to stay sober, work a recovery program you will stay sober for the next 80 years.

This all comes down to you and what lengths you are willing to go through to get sober and remain sober.

Congrats on the 7 days. There will be a test every day from now on, every time you walk down the grocery store aisles, every time you order the chicken wings... I have been reading the AVRT "secular connections" forum, but whatever works is good. I am a very shy person and telling my story in front of strangers does not appeal to me at all.

I guess it depends what you mean by sober... if you mean dry (not drinking) it is possible.

I had months of dry in the past based on a bet or to get my wife off my back.
I wasn't drinking but I was miserable .. a ticking time-bomb .... that eventually went and got drunk again.
Good and drunk because I had some catching up to do.
I never really quit drinking, I just postponed it.

The only thing that got me sober and keeps me sober is commitment to Alcoholics Anonymous. For me (and millions of others) AA treats not only the alcohol but the alcoholism.

Please Google and read "AA HOW IT WORKS" and you will find a simple solution in that 1 page document.

I knew I needed help with my drinking when I was 20 yrs old and I'm almost 70 now. I have 50 yrs experience in failure and success.
Recovery takes years of doing. We should check in every 5 yrs or so to let folks know how it's going .....

All the best in whatever program you choose. AA will be there for you if needed.

Bob R

Thank you for the responses. But when I say I want to get sober, I mean for the rest of my life. I have made the decision based on what I have decided I want to do. Nobody has forced me, or even mentioned that I may have a drinking problem, in fact some have told my that I am fine. But I myself know better. I want to be the person God intended me to be, and live the life that was given to me by God. The REAL LIFE, the SOBER LIFE. I want things to be the way they were meant to be. (if that makes any sense)

Oh and to Gracie Lou. U make a lot of valid points but I have put these plans in place because I have made the decision to stop drinking and stay sober. I just thought it might help my along the way in my first weeks of sobriety to keep myself busy and out of trouble. It is a big deal missing these events I have been looking forward to for so long. But I know I will have to avoid these situations for awhile until I gain more confidence in myself and my decision making.. But I will attend AA sometime again soon. I never thought about what would happen if nobody went to help others. I just didn't think I would have much to offer somebody else seeing as I only have a week of sobriety under my belt at this time. But I guess we ALL have something to offer. I spend hours of each day on here listening to others stories and to remind myself of why I want to live a sober life. And I am so happy to hear the perspectives of my all of you, who have done it. THANK YOU.

Then God will be the source of your strength to do so

That makes perfect sense. That is what keeps me sober. The fact that God has a better plan for me then the one I had for myself.

For me that is one of the many things that made me realize how selfish I had been. I only thought of me and what I wanted/needed. When I went to AA it made me realize the commitment that so many have to the program.

You are correct. We all have something to offer. There could be another single mother out there and maybe it is her day one. You understand her. You can help.

Sometimes we don't have to have all the answers or the solutions. Just having the support of someone that truly understands is a big help.

Hi Tired - I’m on day 8 and can really relate to your post. I have the same fear and scary thoughts – especially the fear of picking up again and feeling dumb. I also have a few parties coming up and have decided to just take the days as they come. I’m going to trust myself to make the right decisions based on how I’m feeling at the moment – and if that means missing a party and disappointing some people – so be it. In regards to AA, I’ve been to three meetings so far – and they’ve all been different – different people, stories, atmosphere, etc. I’ve also struggled with the motivation to get to more meetings – especially on days where I don’t feel particularly tempted to drink or when I feel like I haven’t had a particularly enlightening experience at past meetings. I’ve been trying to rework my thinking and realize that if I don’t go to a meeting, I might be missing out on that “light bulb” moment that I’ve really been waiting for. I’m consciously working to keep my mind open and absorb as much I can. I’ve been numbing my mind and senses with alcohol for a long time – so it’s proving to be quite a challenge! Not everything I’ve heard at a meeting has resonated with me, but I have found some great comfort seeing folks happy and content with life who have started out right where I am now.