Overthehorizon

Hi everyone,
First I want to say that I'm very happy to have found this place. I have been struggling with my drinking for years but rarely have I ever felt the comfort to express half as much as what I feel I can here, and it's only day one. I know the anonymity helps; but so does the understanding and comraderie of experience.
After two/three weeks of accelerated drinking and feeling like I am failing my kids and my family I'm ready to be done with this ridiculous oppression in my life. I have two beautiful children who need their mother, a partner who expects more from me, and a mother's heart I know I'm slowly breaking. Right now, I feel a number of emotions: excitement for the decision to really try to stop. It feels the most rock solid it ever has. Also, anxiety for what's to come. Anger at my partner for feeling like he's too critical on me, judges me and does not understand what it takes to help me, shame bc I feel I have put my addiction before my family for too long... guilt, sadness, hope... I'm hoping this place can help me. Just reading the welcoming and supportive posts gives me encouragement and comfort. Thanks everyone. I appreciate you.

Nuudawn

C'mon in...the water's fine. I'm only a few weeks sober myself but even now I look back at Day 1..the day I decided enough was enough and that was a goshdarn beautiful day!

Leave the shame and negativity in the past..for today you made a fantastic choice for yourself and your family. Well done.

...and welcome.

Nighthawk8820

Those are all perfectly normal, and to be expected feeling you have. Getting sober is scary, because you have to let go of the crutch alcohol provides......and be present and clear headed for each moment. Its also SO exciting, because this is a chance for you to really experience freedom. Alcohol is such a burden and a self made prison, it sucks. You can make changes and will be be so grateful you did. Im at 2 years, and nearly every thing has changed. I am so happy to be here, to be present, and to know I am now in control of my actions and choices 100%.

Overthehorizon

Thank you! I look forward to the day I can feel those feelings and have those experiences!

visch1

It's almost guaranteed to happen if your honest with YOURSELF and don't drink one day at a time. Simple however it may not be easy. I'll say one benefit was quick coming for me is the feeling to be comfortable in your own skin.

BE WELL

Overthehorizon

Being honest with yourself... that has been one of the hardest yet most liberating things I'm experiencing going through this. Thank you for your words.

Dee74

We're glad to have you here Overthehorizon

D

least

to the family! Having all those conflicting feelings is very normal as your body and brain are getting back to normal functioning and it takes a while to do that. Just take good care of yourself and stay sober and you should start feeling better and not so 'up and down'.