Living

Learntoloveme - I am a physical wreck today because I chose to drink last night. I completely understand your situation. YOU CAN DO IT AND SO CAN I. I am going to a 12:00 p.m. AA meeting. Starting over with a white chip.

Just please understand that this addiction can be beat. There are so many success stories on SR. I need to want it deep down and not allow excuses to stand in the way. You my friend can be succesful. Join me today on our sober road.

I am useless to my family without sobriety. I am useless to this Board without Sobriety..

Love You all.

Learn2loveme

Living - thank you so much and it is nice to have a new buddy to go through it with. I am okay for now, but when the evening hours roll around and my cravings start, then it will be a challenge. Thank GOD my daughter is coming home and she would never tolerate me drinking, so I have a safe haven for the next week.

I hear you on the sober community. I try to do it alone, and then I can't. I need others that understand to help me and cheer me on. I let down a lot of family members yesterday by cancelling on a dinner but I am fighting to not let shame drag me down.

I read in the forum: You are not defined by your last choice...you are defined by your next one. Stay fighting .. try, try, try again. That is what I am hanging on to today!

Blackcat11

I, too, have done the exact same thing---many times. I suspect that most people here have done the same in one manner or another. But there is hope and you will find your way out. God bless you and take care today!

360shoes

I think we are all in trouble if our worth as a human being is judged only by success.

No matter who we are or what we are struggling with, we are never worthless.
Dee's right. Don't confuse who you are with your addiction.

A good sleep will help. Rest up Living. As long as you get to wake up and breath, you get another day to try again.

Mshort

Thank you for your response. Sorry to hear about your relapse. You are not a failure and neither am I. It's painful, yes. sending you prayers. You deserve to be better.

Bensmammy

Living your not a failure ... Hope you feel better tomorrow - you did good to own up - we're all in the same boat so climb on back aboard

Living

Thank GOD for SR and the people on here. Going to shower and head to an AA meeting. Be back soon and again thank you all.

Trickyriky - I did try to reach you yesterday, but it would not have helped. I set my mind to drinking and I did. My choice and fault. You contribute so much and I hope you know how much you are appreciated.

Off to AA.

EmeraldRose

Thru my recovery I have realized that there are two words that have meaning of irrevelance to my sobriety -or my life in general...
1. Failure
2. Normalcy

Neither one is in my current vocabulary.

Every day is a new chance...peace.

bemyself

Living, there is such great wisdom in what Emerald Rose just said, about 'failure' and 'normalcy'.

SR Newcomers section, in particular, shows so, so many of us striving (earnestly, genuinely, heart felt and rightly) for a measure of success - to be sustainable non-drinkers. And yet, so many of us, myself, yourself, included, then fall into that word-trap: 'if I've drunk again, then I've failed'.

To be sure, your cries of suffering resound with all of us, myself included: you know, the physical shite and the emotional storms which accompany drinking's aftermath. But I agree with Emerald (if I'm taking her meaning correctly) that with us, there can be no place for people like us in ADDING that extra suffering - that feeling of self-denigration, that feeling that 'I' have 'failed'.

Have you 'failed' at living, Living? No, you've got up, hungover and feeling like crap, but you are alive. And whilst I don't know you or your life, I sense that you - just like hundreds of other SRs - have not been a failure in living life, here at this time and wherever you are on the globe.

Please try to let go of that particular additional layer of suffering, if you can. You have enough!

Warm wishes from Aus.

Pondlady

Living,
Glad to hear from you today and that you were headed to a meeting. What a difference 24 hours can make

Anna

I'm glad you're back at recovery and I hope you feel better today.

BayAreaGuy

I'm so sorry to hear this Living, At least you're here realizing that it was a slip up and knowing that it's no good for you. Last time I fell off I lied to myself for 4 months before again realizing and admitting that I am and will always be powerless over alcohol. Sadly we can not change the past but we CAN choose what we do in the future. Stay strong, You'll overcome this bump in the road.

Living

AA meeting was wonderful. Actually went to another miles away at 6:00 p.m., but I needed it. Sat quietly and absorbed.

I cannot use personal issues to abuse and drink. Yes, I am again at day one and am determined.

Thank you all again. Each of you individually kept me sober and this Board is what I need to start over with. Bless you all.

Debe5

Failure is an event, never a person. EVERY person fails. Try to find some joy in today, this to shall pass.....

Ptcapote

Living, you sound so much better, and glad you made two meetings.

You've got this---it sometimes just takes what it takes but we get there.

(You're an animal nurse? I was too for many years before I realized I couldn't go to vet school because they don't allow you to take your shoes off to count... Switched careers but animals are still my heart and soul).

quitforme79

You're only a failure at something if you give up on reaching your goal. If you want sobriety try try again. You can do this living!