So I started this with no intention to REALLY quit...
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
On day 3 of my sobriety I had to attend a staff function which was supposed to be all about the drinking. I fibbed and said I was on anti-biotics for a serious infection.
Two things:
I stayed sober and I learned I really don't like social events where there is nothing to do but make idle chit chat.
I also watch a co-worker make a complete arse of herself and she ended up telling off the boss..and well, ended up sobbing like a little girl over her crapola life.
She still has her job..and she's still drinking.
Two things:
I stayed sober and I learned I really don't like social events where there is nothing to do but make idle chit chat.
I also watch a co-worker make a complete arse of herself and she ended up telling off the boss..and well, ended up sobbing like a little girl over her crapola life.
She still has her job..and she's still drinking.
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
I was sitting here thinking, I don't give a care if people know that I quit.
But, ya know what ? That, my friends, is a bald face lie. These are my good friends. The sister like friends you have your whole life. And yes, they have watched me try and fail before. And how could I give myself an "out" to slam Chardonnay if my sisters are there knowing my truth and seeing my naked soul layed out for all to witness ?
Yes, I'm an alcoholic. And evidently, a damn crafty one at that.
Not.
But, ya know what ? That, my friends, is a bald face lie. These are my good friends. The sister like friends you have your whole life. And yes, they have watched me try and fail before. And how could I give myself an "out" to slam Chardonnay if my sisters are there knowing my truth and seeing my naked soul layed out for all to witness ?
Yes, I'm an alcoholic. And evidently, a damn crafty one at that.
Not.
Nothing is impossible!
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: EAGAN
Posts: 792
Originally Posted by alphaomega 
A month ago I was miserable. Wired, strung out, over stressed, hungover 4 to 5 days a week. Just at my wits end. Went on holiday with some friends who got up and started to drink and I tried to do the same. I mean I really tried. Fortunately, I don't have that sort of constitution, so I decided that I had to do SOMETHING to make my incessant anxiety and fear stop. Clearly the booze wasn't working. Nor had it ever worked.
SO I stopped drinking. Honestly, I had no intention of exactly "quitting" as I was quite sure there was no way in hell I could given my life circumstances , situation, etc....waaaaahhhhhhh
So long story longer, I got through the initial yuks. And had some social tests that were challenging but I survived. And I realized life is really rather awesome sober. And I like it here in Soberland. Alot And I'm happier and healthier and even though life isn't perfect, it's wonderful.
But now, I am faced with tomorrow....
I have a huge party to go to, that I invited 12 people to. I can't back out and I can't fake sick. Back a few months ago when I put out the invitation I was actually bragging about, are you ready for this, DRINKING WITHIN A INCH OF MY LIFE. Goofing about having to be hospitalized afterwards, etc. Now I am beyond mortified that I ever thought alcohol was a joke. The thought of my words and thoughts literally nauseates me. There is NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT INTENTIONALLY POISONING YOURSELF TO DEATH. Granted back then I did not have, even the remotest clue, what I was doing to myself. I was just following the herd knowing full well that I could not possible have any fun without it.
But now I'm older, and a little wiser. Actually, thanks to this safe haven, ALOT wiser. And I am faced with this day that was going to be my reintroduction to the good old days. The wild girl, dancing and partying within an inch of her life. But something radically has changed in me and suddenly, I no longer want to get drunk.
Confession: I'm not sure I am going to make it. But I sure as hell want to. I want to so much I can't even believe I'm saying this when I gave myself this out a month ago.
Life is so much better here.
I appreciate any wisdom and advice.
Grateful.
SO I stopped drinking. Honestly, I had no intention of exactly "quitting" as I was quite sure there was no way in hell I could given my life circumstances , situation, etc....waaaaahhhhhhh
So long story longer, I got through the initial yuks. And had some social tests that were challenging but I survived. And I realized life is really rather awesome sober. And I like it here in Soberland. Alot And I'm happier and healthier and even though life isn't perfect, it's wonderful.
But now, I am faced with tomorrow....
I have a huge party to go to, that I invited 12 people to. I can't back out and I can't fake sick. Back a few months ago when I put out the invitation I was actually bragging about, are you ready for this, DRINKING WITHIN A INCH OF MY LIFE. Goofing about having to be hospitalized afterwards, etc. Now I am beyond mortified that I ever thought alcohol was a joke. The thought of my words and thoughts literally nauseates me. There is NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT INTENTIONALLY POISONING YOURSELF TO DEATH. Granted back then I did not have, even the remotest clue, what I was doing to myself. I was just following the herd knowing full well that I could not possible have any fun without it.
But now I'm older, and a little wiser. Actually, thanks to this safe haven, ALOT wiser. And I am faced with this day that was going to be my reintroduction to the good old days. The wild girl, dancing and partying within an inch of her life. But something radically has changed in me and suddenly, I no longer want to get drunk.
Confession: I'm not sure I am going to make it. But I sure as hell want to. I want to so much I can't even believe I'm saying this when I gave myself this out a month ago.
Life is so much better here.
I appreciate any wisdom and advice.
Grateful.
I think you may surprise yourself. Everything you need to make it through this event, you already possess. You can see it in the words of your post. You said it yourself, "And I realized life is really rather awesome sober. And I like it here in Soberland. Alot And I'm happier and healthier and even though life isn't perfect, it's wonderful." Remember what you JUST said. Do you want to go back to that life you had as a drunk? I dont think you do, and if you slip up, then that is exactly where you will be...........no longer in soberland. Things can go from Bright to DARK pretty rapidly, and all you can do is make the right choices to avoid that from happening. If you honestly do not think you going is a good idea, then you have every right to bail out. If people get mad, so be it. They weren't your real friends anyways if they would ask you to risk everything you are building for a stupid party. You find out pretty quickly in sobriety who is your real friend and who isnt, and as painful as some of those realizations can be, it really is for the best in the end. You come first, bottom line. You've earned the right to make selfish decisions in regards to being sober, so never apologize for cancelling plans if they pose a threat to everything you have learned and worked on thus far.
Nothing is impossible!
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: EAGAN
Posts: 792
Originally Posted by alphaomega
I was sitting here thinking, I don't give a care if people know that I quit.
But, ya know what ? That, my friends, is a bald face lie. These are my good friends. The sister like friends you have your whole life. And yes, they have watched me try and fail before. And how could I give myself an "out" to slam Chardonnay if my sisters are there knowing my truth and seeing my naked soul layed out for all to witness ?
Yes, I'm an alcoholic. And evidently, a damn crafty one at that.
Not.
But, ya know what ? That, my friends, is a bald face lie. These are my good friends. The sister like friends you have your whole life. And yes, they have watched me try and fail before. And how could I give myself an "out" to slam Chardonnay if my sisters are there knowing my truth and seeing my naked soul layed out for all to witness ?
Yes, I'm an alcoholic. And evidently, a damn crafty one at that.
Not.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: South Bay, So Cal
Posts: 6,116
YES RunningClean, Sobriety Comes First. This month in my daily meeting the event was a baby shower. The woman who shared didn't want to disappoint her family , and especially a favorite Aunt. No one knew she was new to sobriety. In the end she opted to be "selfish", skip the shower, no pretending to drink?!! Someone in the group suggested that the favorite Aunt would understand. My sobriety is just too important to me. I personally wouldn't attend. I' d ask another to please fill in for me as hostess.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 540
In my early sobriety (im still in early sobriety, not yet a year) I skipped many an event, including a horseback riding camping trip that I had really been looking forward to, because I wasn't sure I could trust myself around alcohol. I am much more comfortable around alcohol now, but I still avoid some situations (no thanks, I'm going to go home and play with my dogs) and leave early when the event just becomes about the drinking. Do I reret missing the camping trip and other fun things. Not at all. I stayed sober, and it was so worth it.
Do whatever you need to do to stay sober. No party is worth a slip.
Do whatever you need to do to stay sober. No party is worth a slip.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Hope all is well.
Well, I have the feeling that if you had stayed sober at your party you would have rushed online afterward to tell us of your success. But I could be wrong.
Don't know what happened until you tell us. But if you failed, all the better to come back and try again.
Originally Posted by alphaomega
But now, I am faced with tomorrow....
I have a huge party to go to, that I invited 12 people to. I can't back out and I can't fake sick.
I have a huge party to go to, that I invited 12 people to. I can't back out and I can't fake sick.
Don't know what happened until you tell us. But if you failed, all the better to come back and try again.
Run to live... live to run
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Western Maryland
Posts: 1,091
Pretending to drink does nothing but gives you the "out" to drink again.
I straight up told people I stopped drinking. Most laughed and said i'd never make it.. Well, guess what.. I did. And truthfully, those negative friends of mine just fueled the fire. I hate when people think I can't do something.
I hope you made it through sober. It's a very important lesson for a person trying to get and stay sober.
I straight up told people I stopped drinking. Most laughed and said i'd never make it.. Well, guess what.. I did. And truthfully, those negative friends of mine just fueled the fire. I hate when people think I can't do something.
I hope you made it through sober. It's a very important lesson for a person trying to get and stay sober.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
My father taught me how to ride horses.
One of the most important lesson I got out of it is which I apply to life itself is:
If you fall, brush yourself off, make sure your horse is ok and get back on the saddle immediately or fear will set in and your horse will learn that if his rider hits the ground it's an easy way out of work for him.
Reformulate your plan, take a good honest look at what happened so you can avoid the pitfall next time and go back on the road to recovery.
We are here for you
One of the most important lesson I got out of it is which I apply to life itself is:
If you fall, brush yourself off, make sure your horse is ok and get back on the saddle immediately or fear will set in and your horse will learn that if his rider hits the ground it's an easy way out of work for him.
Reformulate your plan, take a good honest look at what happened so you can avoid the pitfall next time and go back on the road to recovery.
We are here for you
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
I wish I could say - but I really tried, but I wanted to, but I was hurting, sad, frustrated, etc. WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH.
Nope, none of that. I was getting ready for the party with full intention to NOT DRINK.
And then I got there and I threw all caution to the wind. I figured if I was going to do it, I was going to do it right.
And, truth be told, as ashamed as I am to admit it, it was wonderful while it lasted. I felt free again. That is, until I blacked out. Don't remember much from there on. And that was early into the evening. Didn't eat. (Never tried that trick before).
But then, just like all the other times, I had to eventually stop. And wake up to the unspeakable horror. So what did I do about that ?
You know exactly what I did.
Nope, none of that. I was getting ready for the party with full intention to NOT DRINK.
And then I got there and I threw all caution to the wind. I figured if I was going to do it, I was going to do it right.
And, truth be told, as ashamed as I am to admit it, it was wonderful while it lasted. I felt free again. That is, until I blacked out. Don't remember much from there on. And that was early into the evening. Didn't eat. (Never tried that trick before).
But then, just like all the other times, I had to eventually stop. And wake up to the unspeakable horror. So what did I do about that ?
You know exactly what I did.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by alphaomega
And, truth be told, as ashamed as I am to admit it, it was wonderful while it lasted. I felt free again. That is, until I blacked out. Don't remember much from there on.
I'm glad you came back - and hoping you are going to make a redoubled effort.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 34
Obviously this isn't easy, we can all attest to that, but there are plenty of success stories to inspire us and remind us it is possible. Don't let what you did (drink) steal the joy of what you do today!
Run to live... live to run
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Western Maryland
Posts: 1,091
You don't truly want sobriety right now.. when you do, you will do anything for it... you will not drink no matter what. We've all fallen down.. get back up, and this time, stay up. You are here for a reason. You know you've got a problem. You can do it!!!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,475
When you decide you really want to stop drinking, you won't have to agonize over whether or not to go to a drinking party. You won't even consider it. When you decide you really want to stop drinking, you will know instinctively to put yourself first.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,378
And, truth be told, as ashamed as I am to admit it, it was wonderful while it lasted. I felt free again. That is, until I blacked out. Don't remember much from there on. And that was early into the evening. Didn't eat. (Never tried that trick before).
The thing is...you'll never know what true freedom is as long as you keep swallowing the faux -freedom your inner addict will keep dangling in your face.
Euphoria is not freedom - it's just euphoria. Chemically produced...untenable, and ephemeral.
Drink for long enough and you will lose that euphoria all together...but you'll still keep drinking trying to find it.
The perfect trap.
Don't fall for it.
D
Recovering
Join Date: May 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,361
I felt free again. That is, until I blacked out.
You know - drinking until a blackout is very far from real freedom.
Sorry to hear of your struggles. You know the obvious truth - if you want to give up alcohol then you're going to have to make changes which include not going to parties (at least for a good long while, though I would still avoid parties unless they are really important celebrations like marriages - parties just aren't part of my life anymore).
Are you going to join us up here on the wagon again? It's going great places!
God bless +
Michael
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