Bummer!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 136
Bummer!
World record for days I've been sober - 20! I think my previous was 9 or 10. I did give in tonight though, just started sipping a beer.
The excuse? I'm at a real dead end at the moment, sleeping on a friend's couch and deciding what to do next. My freelance work has ground to a standstill. I blame it all on indecision, which is a symptom of withdrawal. I'm just paralyzed by it and I can't afford to be right now.
I read something here recently (forgot the username but avatar is a pic of a girl and a guy cheering) that I recognize I can improve next time I attempt to recover. You have to make life better sober than it was drinking, or it won't stick. In this attempt I continued to isolate and did not replace me drinking time with anything.. it was simply drinking time without drink (i.e. watching TV, bumming around, etc.). I think I had been scared off by previous attempts to do too much at once like a New Year's Resolution.
Anyway thanks for reading.. if anything is to be learned from me it is that recovery is something that is practiced and learned. I started in earnest in November and have steadily got better.
Sorry I'm being a bit selfish and am not looking for any 'get back on the wagon' motivation for now.. being off I'm going to take advantage of my homeostasis to get some things sorted before trying again
The excuse? I'm at a real dead end at the moment, sleeping on a friend's couch and deciding what to do next. My freelance work has ground to a standstill. I blame it all on indecision, which is a symptom of withdrawal. I'm just paralyzed by it and I can't afford to be right now.
I read something here recently (forgot the username but avatar is a pic of a girl and a guy cheering) that I recognize I can improve next time I attempt to recover. You have to make life better sober than it was drinking, or it won't stick. In this attempt I continued to isolate and did not replace me drinking time with anything.. it was simply drinking time without drink (i.e. watching TV, bumming around, etc.). I think I had been scared off by previous attempts to do too much at once like a New Year's Resolution.
Anyway thanks for reading.. if anything is to be learned from me it is that recovery is something that is practiced and learned. I started in earnest in November and have steadily got better.
Sorry I'm being a bit selfish and am not looking for any 'get back on the wagon' motivation for now.. being off I'm going to take advantage of my homeostasis to get some things sorted before trying again
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,367
There's so much alcoholic thinking there man.
I'm just going to leave you with some advice Rennet....
the best thing you could do now today - the very best thing - is tip out that beer and spend the day instead on working out more support for your recovery and working your butt out of that dead end you're in.
You could take the reins today or let the day drift by like so many other days have - it's your call.
D
I'm just going to leave you with some advice Rennet....
the best thing you could do now today - the very best thing - is tip out that beer and spend the day instead on working out more support for your recovery and working your butt out of that dead end you're in.
You could take the reins today or let the day drift by like so many other days have - it's your call.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 136
Thanks Dee. I know there is a lot of alcoholic talking there. I didn't expect to come to a recovery forum and hear 'Yes! That is a great reason to drink!'
The thing is there are no reigns to take. Think of it like going back to your hometown to work out what you'll do next, all friends/family are triggers so you just have to turn down any and all invites to anything.. so I'm just bumming about in a single room watching TV and surfing the internet. I'm not even planning on setting roots again in this town so there is little motivation to join a club or get involved in anything.
I do have options, different plans, etc... just they will take a month or two to work out and in the present time I'm just sitting here like jelly.
I knew this would be a challenge going in.. starting recovery in such an unstable time, so I'm still happy I picked up the 20 days. My goal in the next month will be to pick up pockets of sobriety, 2-3 days, before I get the energy for another big push to beat this record.
The thing is there are no reigns to take. Think of it like going back to your hometown to work out what you'll do next, all friends/family are triggers so you just have to turn down any and all invites to anything.. so I'm just bumming about in a single room watching TV and surfing the internet. I'm not even planning on setting roots again in this town so there is little motivation to join a club or get involved in anything.
I do have options, different plans, etc... just they will take a month or two to work out and in the present time I'm just sitting here like jelly.
I knew this would be a challenge going in.. starting recovery in such an unstable time, so I'm still happy I picked up the 20 days. My goal in the next month will be to pick up pockets of sobriety, 2-3 days, before I get the energy for another big push to beat this record.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
When i was drinking i didn't get things sorted .
For me drinking always took over my life .
The way i figure it now i need to get as much satiety from sober life as i can, it's not a chore , it means my very life to me, it's glorious,
Bestwishes, M
For me drinking always took over my life .
The way i figure it now i need to get as much satiety from sober life as i can, it's not a chore , it means my very life to me, it's glorious,
Bestwishes, M
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,367
There's always reins to take Rennet.
I was in a situation almost identical to yours for two years until people got tired of my freeloading butt.
I'm glad they did cos at least I had to stand on my own two feet then. Still took another decade to get smart enough to find the reins tho.
I couldn't see it either.... cos my alcoholism had the reins.
It took me a lot of years to realise that and take them back.
Homeostasis is just a fancy word for the ****-its, Rennet.
Don't let yours last the years mine did.
D
I was in a situation almost identical to yours for two years until people got tired of my freeloading butt.
I'm glad they did cos at least I had to stand on my own two feet then. Still took another decade to get smart enough to find the reins tho.
I couldn't see it either.... cos my alcoholism had the reins.
It took me a lot of years to realise that and take them back.
Homeostasis is just a fancy word for the ****-its, Rennet.
Don't let yours last the years mine did.
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Originally Posted by Rennet 
homeostasis
homeostasis - The ability or tendency of an organism or cell to maintain internal equilibrium by adjusting its physiological processes; the maintenance of metabolic equilibrium within an animal by a tendency to compensate for disrupting changes
This jumped out at me...
compensate for disrupting changes
You won't have to compensate if the disrupting changes don't exist.
For me, as an alcoholic, I could change or adapt to many situations and many different people. It was sort of a survival technique. As long as I had my booze I could compensate for any changes that came along.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 136
Originally Posted by GracieLou
I don't think I ever heard this word so I had to look it up.
homeostasis - The ability or tendency of an organism or cell to maintain internal equilibrium by adjusting its physiological processes; the maintenance of metabolic equilibrium within an animal by a tendency to compensate for disrupting changes
This jumped out at me...
compensate for disrupting changes
You won't have to compensate if the disrupting changes don't exist.
For me, as an alcoholic, I could change or adapt to many situations and many different people. It was sort of a survival technique. As long as I had my booze I could compensate for any changes that came along.
homeostasis - The ability or tendency of an organism or cell to maintain internal equilibrium by adjusting its physiological processes; the maintenance of metabolic equilibrium within an animal by a tendency to compensate for disrupting changes
This jumped out at me...
compensate for disrupting changes
You won't have to compensate if the disrupting changes don't exist.
For me, as an alcoholic, I could change or adapt to many situations and many different people. It was sort of a survival technique. As long as I had my booze I could compensate for any changes that came along.
So to be in an acute withdrawal period is not homeostasis. Unfortunately homeostasis for my body at this time includes alcohol.
I guess my way of thinking is that acute withdrawal and PAWS are unavoidable. However it is best at this time that I postpone those illnesses for 3-6 months, as I need to be at top operating speed (which at this time must not include withdrawal symptoms).
I know I'm trying to defend the indefensible. But hopefully others get some insight in the messed up thought process
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
I may not agree with your choice, but hey its your choice.
This I don't understand.
Are you saying you are messed up, your thought processes are messed up but you hope others see how messed up the thought processes are?
Man, That is messed up!
Originally Posted by Rennet
But hopefully others get some insight in the messed up thought process
Are you saying you are messed up, your thought processes are messed up but you hope others see how messed up the thought processes are?
Man, That is messed up!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,367
Ok, your call.
I wish you well and I wish you good fortune but I think you're basing things on a couple of false premises.
First off, you're basing recovery on a mere 20 days experience. That's like writing an entire life's biography based on less than a month.
Secondly, you really have no idea whether you can maintain this equilibrium or not.
There's no guarantee you can.
Addiction is intrinsically unpredictable and uncontrollable when it's active.
Things can and do get a lot worse very quickly.
You may face a worse withdrawal...you may face some pretty catastrophic health problems, and/or consequences from 3 or 6 months more drinking too.
Take it from me, sometimes we really can be too damn smart for our own good.
D
I wish you well and I wish you good fortune but I think you're basing things on a couple of false premises.
First off, you're basing recovery on a mere 20 days experience. That's like writing an entire life's biography based on less than a month.
Secondly, you really have no idea whether you can maintain this equilibrium or not.
There's no guarantee you can.
Addiction is intrinsically unpredictable and uncontrollable when it's active.
Things can and do get a lot worse very quickly.
You may face a worse withdrawal...you may face some pretty catastrophic health problems, and/or consequences from 3 or 6 months more drinking too.
Take it from me, sometimes we really can be too damn smart for our own good.
D
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by Rennet
I know I'm trying to defend the indefensible. But hopefully others get some insight in the messed up thought process
Recovering
Join Date: May 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,361
It's tough isn't it? In early recovery we so often feel bad and don't function well. The benefits for many only come after weeks or months of sobriety. I guess that is why alcoholisn traps so many - an alcoholic may often feel they don't have the energy or time to get over the tough bit. There's a promise to self that they'll do it when the time is better. But of course that time so often stays just a little bit in the future. Meanwhile the alcohol saps more life and energy out of the person, reducing their energy to get over early sobriety.
The only time you can choose sobriety is now Rennet. That will always be the case. You're just going to have gird your loins and face the hill that is early sobriety. But the view of life from the top of that hill is fantastic, and you'll be so glad you did it.
Hoping and praying you'll choose a sober life - living in the sober 'now'.
God bless +
Michael
The only time you can choose sobriety is now Rennet. That will always be the case. You're just going to have gird your loins and face the hill that is early sobriety. But the view of life from the top of that hill is fantastic, and you'll be so glad you did it.
Hoping and praying you'll choose a sober life - living in the sober 'now'.
God bless +
Michael
Nothing is impossible!
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: EAGAN
Posts: 792
Originally Posted by Rennet
World record for days I've been sober - 20! I think my previous was 9 or 10. I did give in tonight though, just started sipping a beer.
The excuse? I'm at a real dead end at the moment, sleeping on a friend's couch and deciding what to do next. My freelance work has ground to a standstill. I blame it all on indecision, which is a symptom of withdrawal. I'm just paralyzed by it and I can't afford to be right now.
I read something here recently (forgot the username but avatar is a pic of a girl and a guy cheering) that I recognize I can improve next time I attempt to recover. You have to make life better sober than it was drinking, or it won't stick. In this attempt I continued to isolate and did not replace me drinking time with anything.. it was simply drinking time without drink (i.e. watching TV, bumming around, etc.). I think I had been scared off by previous attempts to do too much at once like a New Year's Resolution.
Anyway thanks for reading.. if anything is to be learned from me it is that recovery is something that is practiced and learned. I started in earnest in November and have steadily got better.
Sorry I'm being a bit selfish and am not looking for any 'get back on the wagon' motivation for now.. being off I'm going to take advantage of my homeostasis to get some things sorted before trying again
The excuse? I'm at a real dead end at the moment, sleeping on a friend's couch and deciding what to do next. My freelance work has ground to a standstill. I blame it all on indecision, which is a symptom of withdrawal. I'm just paralyzed by it and I can't afford to be right now.
I read something here recently (forgot the username but avatar is a pic of a girl and a guy cheering) that I recognize I can improve next time I attempt to recover. You have to make life better sober than it was drinking, or it won't stick. In this attempt I continued to isolate and did not replace me drinking time with anything.. it was simply drinking time without drink (i.e. watching TV, bumming around, etc.). I think I had been scared off by previous attempts to do too much at once like a New Year's Resolution.
Anyway thanks for reading.. if anything is to be learned from me it is that recovery is something that is practiced and learned. I started in earnest in November and have steadily got better.
Sorry I'm being a bit selfish and am not looking for any 'get back on the wagon' motivation for now.. being off I'm going to take advantage of my homeostasis to get some things sorted before trying again
Recognizes the Beast
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: In the kitchen, cooking up a storm
Posts: 704
I know there were certain times in my life where I was convinced that I needed to continue drinking to make things better. Looking back now, I can see what a joke that was. But that's how wrapped up I was in my addiction.
I can't sugarcoat things for you Rennet. Like you, I also started my journey in November. And I felt really lousy for two months. My brain was in a constant fog and I couldn't concentrate on anything. I didn't get very much of anything done, BUT I did stay sober. And surprise, surprise things have gotten better.
You're situation doesn't sound ideal, but I can tell you that drinking won't help your problems. I'm certain whoever's couch your surfing on now would rather have you up and about, helping around the house, instead of lying hungover on the sofa all day.
Sobriety isn't the magic bullet to solve all of your problems. Life can still suck, still throw darts and arrows at you. But it is a whole lot easier to deal with without the baggage of drinking.
I can't sugarcoat things for you Rennet. Like you, I also started my journey in November. And I felt really lousy for two months. My brain was in a constant fog and I couldn't concentrate on anything. I didn't get very much of anything done, BUT I did stay sober. And surprise, surprise things have gotten better.
You're situation doesn't sound ideal, but I can tell you that drinking won't help your problems. I'm certain whoever's couch your surfing on now would rather have you up and about, helping around the house, instead of lying hungover on the sofa all day.
Sobriety isn't the magic bullet to solve all of your problems. Life can still suck, still throw darts and arrows at you. But it is a whole lot easier to deal with without the baggage of drinking.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
